She sat by her window still, staring out at the masses of people along the sidewalk, brooding over the last few years of her life. As she watched the people pass, she wondered why life was so unfair.
Just a few months before, she had lost her third child.
A life gained; a life lost. Creation and demise.
'Why?' She wondered, 'WHY?!'
She had not even spent a day with her child, and yet she was cruelly taken away from her.
So near, yet so far.
Sitting in her wheelchair, separated from her darling angel by a piece of glass. Oh, if she could just reach out and hold her darling close to her breast, cuddle her and tell her how much she loved her.
That little life, new to the world, yet already well aquatinted with tubes up her nose, down her throat, into her lungs. Trapped in an incubator, embraced by unfeeling and cold white cloth, and not her mother's warm, loving arms.
Why was her darling angel suffering so much?
How could such an originally blissful occasion turn into something so devastating?
Why is it, that she had to see this not once, but thrice, and each time have to see her husband kneeling next to the incubator, praying.
Praying hard for a miracle, a miracle that never did happen.
It seemed, no matter how hard they prayed, their prayers just never did reach His ears.
What of their endless faith?
It was nothing.
What of their endless love?
It was nothing.
Did it all count for nothing?
Exactly, it was all nothing.
What had they done to deserve such agony?
Why was life just so damn unfair?
Watching families walk past her apartment, some parents too busy to pay attention to their children, choosing to leave them in the hands of their nannies. Watching parents slowly destroy their children's health by smoking.
Did they not realize how fortunate they were?
Did they not realize how much other people would want what they had?
Did they not realize the bundle of joy they had, trailing forlornly behind them, longing for their attention?
Could they not comprehend the possible pain of losing their children?
If they did, how could they choose to ignore them?
WHY DID THESE PEOPLE HAVE CHILDREN, WHEN THEY COULDN'T?
WHY, JUST WHY WAS LIFE SO UNFAIR?
These people have done nothing to deserve such adorable children. These people probably didn't even want children. These people don't even care about their children. These people are even destroying their children.
Was life really that unfair?
Did the big guy in the sky really think that such people deserve children?
Agitated, she fisted a handful of her hair and started tugging.
Did He have no compassion for those who loved Him?
Those who trusted Him?
'Why', such a bothersome word. Three pathetic little letters, yet they took up most of her thoughts.
Tears of frustration rolled down her cheeks.
'Just… tell me why.'