This is a story I did for an English assignment in grade 9. Tell me what you think. I got a C for this story. That's...64.
Once upon a story, long ago lived Cinderella with her two stepsisters, Anastasia and Drizzela. Cinderella put her two beautiful stepsisters to work: cooking, cleaning and every other imaginable chore she could conjure up. The first sister Anastasia was a ginger kid: red hair, freckles, blue eyes and a pale complexion with rosy red cheeks. She had a delicate nose with a slim neck. Her sister, Drizzela, was the opposite of her, she had a voluptuous body with chestnut brown hair, green eyes and a nose so defined it was an angel's nose.
Cinderella was evil and ugly. She had scraggy blonde hair, blue-piercing eyes that would stop you in your tracks. She was far too skinny and her bones were beginning to show through her deathly pale skin. Her cheeks were hollow and the only that was satisfying to the eyes were her rosy red lips. Her joy was her magic mirror, which she kept in her room, shrouded by curtains. This mirror would show her as she wanted to be seen. But one fateful day came, that the mirror was tired of looking at her hideousness, that he decided to break.
"Mirror mirror on the wall," Cinderella began.
"Please, spare me. I am tired of this game you play. You know mirrors can't talk…but luckily for you they can't laugh either. So I shall show you your true self," the mirror, Ralph, replied. In the next minute, he shattered to reveal a real mirror. Cinderella looked at herself and what seemed like hours later, broke down crying. Her wail carried across the wind, shattering the silence, and some windows. Cinderella felt something tickle the back of her neck.
"Magic," she exclaimed. "No, it's too cold. It's…snow?"
Down from the sky floated a plump old lady with stark white hair. She was wearing a hot pink tube top, a bright green leather mini skirt, and her wand was glowing a faint purple.
"Darn it. I'm so sorry about that my dear," she said moving over to stand next to a tree, which she tripped over on her way.
"Who are you? And I'm over here," said Cinderella.
"Oh sorry dear," she said, and walked over to her swinging her hips and lighting a cigarette. "I'm your fairly odd mother. I mean you're fairy godmother. Now, what seems to be the problem?"
"No you're not," Godmother reassured her. "You just need some…retouching."
She took a long drag out of her cigarette. She waved her wand and said some magic words and Cinderella sported a yellow t-shirt with blue track pants. "No, maybe something different." She waved her wand again and Cinderella wore a black dress and bright green sandals. "There you go my dear. Now, just a way to get you there."
"Get me where?" inquired Cinderella.
"To the ball my dear. Where you will meet the prince and get married."
"The prince? He's an idiot and knows nothing!"
"Oh well sucks to be you," Godmother said sarcastically.
Cinderella was shocked that someone would talk to her like that, so she stood in that little black dress staring at her with her mouth agape.
"Bippity Boppity Boo!" exclaimed the fairy godmother. Her wand came to life and did a little dance. "No no no, you stupid piece of garbage, I didn't say 'Bee Bop'. Now make her a chariot."
"As you wish," the wand said and turned Cinderella into a black carriage.
"No! Urgh…do I always have to everything myself?" she took a drag from her cigarette again which was now down to the end. She then picked up the wand, shook it, changed Cinderella back and said the magic words again. Out of nowhere came a little black smart car, blaring techno music, Sandstorm. "There you go my dear. Now off you go."
"Isn't there a warning you have to tell me?"
"No," said Godmother slowly.
"Okay," said Cinderella happily. As she drove towards the castle, which she somehow, miraculously was able to drive safely, you could hear the music blaring.
"Oh dear. I totally forgot there was a warning. If she doesn't get back before midnight, her shoes will turn into dog…stuff, her dress will become paper and her chariot will become a unicycle. Oh dear…oh well. At least it's not me," said Godmother cheerily.
Cinderella arrived and had a splendid time, which is until the prince saw her. He had bright red, frazzled hair and green eyes and he walked over to her casually. "May I have this dance?" he asked politely.
"Sure," Cinderella replied.
They danced and twirled as if they were one. Then Cinderella stepped on his feet.
"How dare you!?"
"How rude!" she yelled and stormed off. She got home and threw everything into the garbage, her car she drove into a ditch, and she lived happily ever after. Except for the prince who in fact, married his cat Lucifer out of loneliness.