AN: This story is based on REAL fictional events. Please R&R. Oh, and it's random for a reason. Please don't criticize me for not making sense, it's supposed to be that way.
Richie Silla-Arenosa was just your average guy. He had a great family who loved him very much: two daughters and a wife. He was about your average height, shaved black hair, average weight. He happened to work at a grocery store, Jefferson's and was one of the best workers there. The only thing that held him back was a handicap that had been with him since birth: his vision. Although he was a dedicated worker and gave it his all, he could hardly see anything from the carts in the parking lot to the orange flavored tuna he had to put back on the shelf. That's where his partner in crime came in: Jim Goodman. Jim was between medium and tall at 6'0" and was a little heavy, but it didn't show. He had curly, brown hair that looked similar to an afro, but was kept short.
Jim would work the opening shift, Richie the closing shift. Even though they only worked about four hours together, they were the perfect team. Richie would go around, doing what he could and Jim would do everything else. They would get everything done and sparkly by the end of the day. This continued practically every day until one fateful day.
"Richie, any more buffalo cans to put back up on the shelf?" Jim asked.
"Nah bro, but we still need to kick the frozen turkeys a bit. You know how they are."
"Sure do, let's go kick some of them!"
They proceeded to kick the frozen turkeys back into place like the meat department liked it, however, a huge explosion rocked the store. Panicked, the two rushed to the front of the store to see the door and most of the front wall missing, charred rubble and small flames in its place. In it's place stood 6 angry ninja lawyers, shurikens in their right hands, case files in their left. There was a red one, a black one, a green one, a yellow one, a purple one and a plaid one, all VERY angry for some reason.
"Yo yo yo home dizzle this store is ours now!" the purple one shouted.
"Ted's right! According to the case 'Mia Storé vs. Jefferson's', this shop belongs to us now!" plaidy shouted.
"Excuse me, you can't take over my store" Jeff Jefferson said, emerging from the CEO office.
"Legally, we can turd burglar!" Greenie stated, presenting the Storé vs Jefferson's case file.
"Tur...I'll chalk that up to your anger Missie! Now go time out!"
"...Yes sir..." Greenie said, stalking off to the corner and sitting down.
"Oh no! Elena is on time out!" Ted shouted.
"Grr...now it's my turn!" Red shouted, lunging at Jeff.
However, before Red could get to Jeff, Jim had picked up Ellie the Elephant and tossed it at Red, severely knocking him off path and crushing most of his bones.
"Nice one Jim! What was that you threw at him though?" Richie applauded.
"A giraffe buddy!"
"Where did you get a giraffe from?"
"...I don't know."
"No! Red!" Yellow shouted.
"You think you can take over this store, you got another thing coming!"
Just then, the company band came out of nowhere and started rocking out! Of course, this led to a mosh pit, which injured most of the involved parties. But both parties agreed: that was the best concert they'd been to in the past 3 and a half months. Just as Richie and Plaid were sharing their best concert memories, they remembered they were in the middle of a fight.
"Grr...how dare you distract us with music! You'll pay! Peeman! Attack!" Plaid said, throwing Richie across the room.
The yellow ninja lunged at Jim and Richie, both of which had injured pancreases due to the mosh pit and were unable to dodge him. He struck Richie in the uvula and gave Jim a colonic irrigation before the two had enough. Feeling avenged, Peeman returned to the angry ninja lawyers.
"Objection! That was for red you unpleasant person!" Peeman shouted.
"Now, anyone else wanna take on the Angry Teenage Muta...err...ninja lawyers?" Plaid shouted.
"Please, no more carnage. Just take the store." Jeff Jefferson said, giving them the keys.
"Attention everyone! We now run this store! Mark everything up two cents! MWAHAHAHA!"
"No! NOT TWO CENTS!" Richie shouted.
"And for your insubordination, you two get to go to the Compton store!" Plaid told Jim and Richie.
The two began to protest, but were in no condition to do so. They both passed out and didn't awaken until much later. As they did, they looked around. Neither one had any idea where they were, until they saw the low rider in the middle of the store bouncing on its hydraulics. They knew this must be the Compton store. It was a huge, factory like building, but run down, bullet holes everywhere. There were no aisles, just mobs of people in trench coats making shady deals.
"Hey, you g's the fresh meat?" one of the trench coat sellers asked.
"Uh...y...yeah..." Richie replied, not sure if he should have or not.
"OK, here's da rules den. OG Len gives you orders. You don't comply you get a clip in your back home dizzle. You'll be fencin' 'borrowed' alpines over there. Here's your trench coat. Get over there. Here's a gat, untraceable. They don't pay, you pop a clip."
"Hey Jim, you get any of that?" Richie whispered.
"Not a word buddy. All I got was the word 'rules'."
"HURRY UP FOR I GET ANGRAY" OG Len shouted.
The two rushed off to the corner and began to sell the 'borrowed' stereos. Business was slow and uneventful, but the two weren't sure if they should be happy or not. They watched a guy steal people's possessions and try to sell them back to their owners, sell some 'slightly used baby food' to a lady and shoot 47 people for looking at his 'bling'. Richie and Jim agreed: this place was a prison. They HAD to get out before they went crazy...or got killed. The two agreed to meet after work at Richie's house. After what seemed like 23 and a half days, the work day ended. They turned in their coats and 'gats' and after a bit of advice from their boss (Don't get high on your own supply!), they drove to Richie's house. Richie's wife made them a cup of tea, extra soy sauce as they discussed their possible paths.
"Well, we could go to the angry ninja lawyers and beg them for our jobs back" Jim suggested.
"Nah bud, that two cent price raise is just as bad as working at the Compton store."
"Hmm...what do you think we should do?"
"How about we go on a long and somewhat entertaining journey, gaining strength and powerful friends and run the angry ninja lawyers out of town?"
"...Nah, too cliché. How about we go to Little Ceasers?"
"Sounds good to me bro!"
"...On second thought, your idea sounds better."
"...So no Little Ceasers?"
"Who said we're not going? I never turn that opportunity down!"
"TO LITTLE CEASERS!"
And so, the two co-workers walked off into the sunset, determined to get to Little Ceaser's when they realized they should have drove. However, they were too far to turn back now and headed off into the sunset once more.
A.N.:Will our heroes ever make it to Little Ceaser? Will they be able to overthrow the angry ninja lawyers? Why do people say ATM machine even though it's redundant? More to come in chapter 2!