AN: Another alternate ending that I came up with while writing chapter 3.
As the door swung open, they saw the final ninja sitting on a haystack in a giant barn looking dojo. Cows, horses, pigs and other farm animals roamed free throughout the dojo and the place smelled of cat liver and peanut oil, but they didn't say anything. Plaid turned around, incredibly angry, and shaking his fist at the two. He was so angry, he was chucking wheat and gray paint at the two as they stood in the doorway.
"YOU! Why did you two have to poke your noses in where it didn't belong? You just had to blow our entire operation to pieces didn't you?" Plaid asked.
"You ruined our lives Plaid! You took over our job and sent us to the ghetto!" Richie announced.
"Yeah and you threw dirt in my corn nuts, and stole my favorite ball and kicked my neighbors alien trophy into mean Mr. Jenkin's yard!" Jim yelled.
"My name's not Plaid! It's Mumbanou. You've meddled too much. Now, I'm going to get you back. For Perry, for Elena, for Peeman, for Ted and for Tobal! YOU WILL PAY!"
"But why? I still don't understand why you'd take over a grocery store. Why you're all so angry! You're the final villain in this thing. Explain this to us!" Richie said.
"Yeah or you're not a true evil leader."
"Fine. But only because if I kill you both, no one will know the story behind it all! Plus Jerry Martin paid me to tell you guys. It all began when I was a boy back in my African village. They told me that I was a little monster and that if I didn't shape up, I'd be the known far and wide as the village monster! So I got my act together. I cleaned up and studied law and politics. But unfortunately the name stuck with me. Even though I was elected vice president! Everyone loved me, they told me that I was super and the best vice president ever elected. I was known far and wide as the Super Vice President Village Monster. I started a family owned grocery store named Mumbanou's. Business started to boom and I was the hero of the village far and wide. But then...he moved in. Jeff Jefferson opened up his store in town and completely killed all my business! We were forced to shut down! I took him to court, tried to sue him. Naturally I represented myself, being a student of law but the court decided in his favor! The judge, unimpressed by my conduct, canceled my law practice license! Then to top it all off, Jeff stole my breakfast mints! My life was ruined. I vowed for revenge. I went to ninja school where I met the other five ninjas. They too were angry and practiced law as well. Perry, angry at himself for living with his parents at age 43. Elena, angry at her job for the low wages. Peeman, angry at his parents for naming him so horribly. Ted, angry at the world for losing his one true love. Tobal, angry because of his stupidity and for having to wear purple. We all got along great. I explained to them what had happened. Together, we hatched a plan to forge legal evidence and take over Jefferson's, then destroy his name with chaotic prices until his store was run into the ground just like mine. The plan in motion, we managed to succeed. That is...until you two came along. At the beginning, you were just nuisances, pawns in the way. We thought for sure you would be shot at the Compton store. But no. You just HAD to go on your little quest for revenge. You just HAD to have a long, exciting journey! Now look, you've gotten five people killed. You didn't disappoint...erm...wait wrong movie. But for my fallen friends, for the sake of my village I, the Super Vice President Village Monster, will kill you both!"
"Ritchie duck!" Jim shouted.
Just then, Jim threw Ellie the elephant at Mumbanou, which he promptly ducked out of the way. Jim cursed, swearing he had made it work before.
"You think that trick will fool me? It may have worked on Perry, but it won't work on me!"
Mumbanou then flung a small dagger at Jim, hitting him in the heel. Richie gasped and screamed.
"THE GOLDEN GIRLS THEME SONG! I LOVE THIS SONG!"
Richie began to dance to the song as Mumbanou looked on confused. Jim managed to dislodge the knife and rushed at Mumbanou, stabbing him several times before realizing he was stabbing him with the hilt. His hand now bloodied by the knife, Jim flung it at Mumbanou, causing him to slip and fall onto the floor. Mumbanou threw himself up and grabbed Jim by the calf hair and swung him around in circles, causing him to hit the wall hard. Blood oozed from the back of his head onto the floor, causing a pool to appear. However, there was no lifeguard on duty so Jim was kicked out and told to pay attention to signs. Feeling faint, Jim went to kick Mumbanou but tripped and rolled, knocking Mumbanou off his feet and sending him flying into the air, head stuck in the ceiling.
"Oh boy a pinata! Richie announced.
He grabbed the nearest leek and started to beat Mumbanou until candy started flowing out of his leg. Richie picked it up, but realized it was only bubble gum and threw it at the pinata in disgust. Mumbanou fell from the ceiling and hit the ground with a hard thud, making a crack in the barnyard floor. He slowly got up and went to go attack Jim, who was wobbling up to his knees. Mumbanou erased his lip with a pencil which made Jim drool all over the floor, but quickly drew it back on only with pink lipstick made from oak sweat. He laughed at Jim as he left makeup all over his drink cups and how smeared it became. Jim, having enough, fainted and fell into a pile of hay in the corner. Richie went to attack Mumbanou with the pinata stick once more but Mumbanou grabbed it, broke it in half and scolded Richie for playing with weapons. He then sent him on a time out in the corner. With no hope remaining, Richie started to cry. He had come all this way only to lose at the end. But something strange caught the corner of his eye. He saw the outline of a cow, drinking Jim's blood off of the floor.
"Eww cow! That's disgusting! That's not a drink!"
But then, right before his eyes, he saw the cow start to twitch and go mad. Bucking and giggling, the cow ran around the room, babbling stories from the three kingdoms and asking for tea time.
"Jim's blood gave him mad cow disease! Everyone run!"
The cow charged at Richie, but he threw Patience For Dummies at the cow and he began to read it. But the mad cow disease made him forget it all within 35 microminutes and he charged at Mumbanou. Unfortunately, he wasn't as quick of a thinker and was impaled by the cows left udder. Lying on the ground in a pool of his own blood, his last word he muttered were how this was no fun and he swore revenge. The cow, feeling bad about killing its master, flung itself from the window and committed suicide. Richie raced over to Jim to make sure he was alright. Shaking him awake, he laughed, happy for the first time in a long while.
"Jim we did it! We did it buddy! We saved Jefferson's!"
"Yay! Pancakes for everyone!"
But just as the two were about to leave, police sirens echoed through the air. They rushed into the building and saw Mumbanou lying dead on the floor.
"FREEZE! You're both under arrest!" the police announced.
"We've found evidence directly linking the both of you to multiple murder scenes. Do the names Elena, Hass Avocado, Peeman, Ted, Mary Berry and Mumbanou ring a bell? You're wanted for six counts of premeditated murder in the first degree."
The police hauled the two off to prison, where a judge found them both guilty and sentenced to multiple life sentences with no possibility of parole. While in prison, they were constantly beaten and eventually killed by the two ninjas they had locked away: Perry and Tobal. The two had constantly protested their conviction, urging the officers to read Jerry Martin's story about the events but they considered it heresy and ignored them. They were buried outside the jailhouse where they lie to this day.
A.N.: Hope you enjoyed this story! Thank you so much for reading!