Snow falling outside
Tired, laying in wait
For that jolly ol' fat man,
Like a mongoose,
Waiting for the snake.

Grinning like a pirate's flag
The skull and crossbones;
I often thought

That shepherds perform lobotomies
On sheep, of course,
No fool but a wise man
Would ever try that on a man.

Like a Sherpa I climb
Up to the roof.
Nail gun in hand
Nailing bear traps to the shingles.

Wonder who I'll get...
Donner, Blitzen, or perhaps that red nosed freak.
If they manage to get by
This minefield of mine,
I left that ol' fat bastard a devious surprise,
A special batch of cookies,
Laced with cyanide.

I'll teach that fat ol' coot
Never to give me coal again...