The Life and Times of Lorna T. Elliot

Chapter 1, during which Lorna is invited to her boyfriend's for a meet the family Dinner.

Dear Diary…

Wait who am I kidding, why would I want to write in a diary, only losers do that! And if I was going to start a diary my opening line certainly wouldn't be, "Dear Diary," phhh. I was just trying to think of a way to immortalize the amazing day I've had. But, then again it's not like anyone would EVER forget anything about my life.

I bet you would like to know who I am. Then again, you probably already know, because everyone knows me. But incase you've been under a rock the last 14 years, my name is Lorna T. Elliot, and I am the Brantford Junior High, it girl. If you weren't an it girl when you were in school let me just tell you right now, it is NOT easy! If you haven't had a bikini wax let me just tell you, it is the definition of the phrase, "Beauty is pain," major pain that is. Also, I don't get dumped. I did once but, don't tell anyone because as far as they no we, "both" decided the relationship was a bad idea. And from now on that is it end of story.

Well not so much end of story but, end of discussion at least. Also my current boyfriend is Christian Burgan. He is a star athlete at our school and if anyone asks, he asked menot the other way around, understood? Excellent. So here is why today was absolutely the best day of my entire life. Mind, that life as of yesterday started a mere 14 days ago but oh well, I'm still rich and pretty, already.

So today, my boyfriend invited me to meet his parents, awesome right. I mean I already know them because all of the rich parents are in the PTA and all of their rich children mingle, therefore, we all know each others parents. However in…oh my goodness only 3 days 4 hours and 36 minutes I will be meeting them for the fist time in this capacity, what capacity is that, as their son's girlfriend of course. WOOT WOOT! Oh dear, what am I going to wear. I have to look responsible AND hot, a little something for everyone.

It's time for an emergency meeting. "Ellen, you had better be ready to get your butt over to my house," I instructed over the phone to my best friend and number one fashion consultant. I then ran down the stairs and positioned myself on my coach so that I wouldn't look too eager but still like I was prepared for a guest. Ding Dong. SHE'S HERE! I walked to the door and got ready to go through a majorly long evening of shopping. Yes looking through my closet can be classified as shopping as I have more cloths in there then Barney Bergdorf and Goodman's combined. No joke.

"So, what is this majorly important event?" asked Ellen walking up to my room treating my house as her own just like I would in hers. After all we had known each other since we were at private pre-K together. "You sounded pretty excited on the phone," making a face that pertained to what the type of scream I let out later in the conversation would normally look like.

"Kay, so here's the dish: Christian invited me to have dinner with his family and I need a totally fetch outfit. I need something that looks responsible, like a younger, better moisturized Hilary Clinton. But it also needs to be hot for Christian! Something that says hello my name is Lorna and everyone wants me, get it?" I asked, perfectly aware that she knew exactly what I meant as she was already going through my closet.

Ellen started throwing things onto my floor and apologized incase I was upset about the mess but, like, why would I be upset? It's not like we don't have a maid to clean my room. I would just like to add that, the maid is a total crab and is always saying it wouldn't kill me to clean up after myself once and a while. Well why would I want to do her job for her? Plus I might break a perfectly French manicured nail. Anyway, I just told Ellen to continue; after all it's always fun to bother the maid!

"So did Christian really ask you to come to dinner with his family?" asked Ellen with what I think was a hint of jealousy and a sprinkle of curiosity, of course that was how most of her comments on the subject of my absolutely hot boyfriend were presented. Ellen could normally get any guy she wanted, unless of course I wanted him as well. That was what had happened in the case of Christian and, Ellen was a little bitter about it. However that didn't stop her from being my number one fashion consultant and for that I was grateful. "How about this one?" She suggested pulling out a knee length flowered dress from last years Prada show in Milan.

"No, Ellen how could you be so thick?" I asked, "You know flowers are out starting October the 1st, for Pete's sake Ellen it is like the middle of November!" I really didn't know what to say, it isn't at all like Ellen to forget one of the most primary rules of seasonal clothing.

"Oh, of course, I guess it just slipped my mind," Ellen attempted to explain but I simply didn't want to hear it.

"Mhmm, just don't let it happen again, ok?" I really couldn't get over the fact that she had made such a rudimentary mistake but she certainly already had as she pulled out a blue mini and a silver diamond studded top made especially for me by my mothers close friend Dominico Dolce. "Yes, it's perfect. Simple, but elegant. Ellen, you really have out done yourself. Thank you so much," okay so, maybe I could get over it. Ellen had chosen the perfect outfit.

"So, tomorrow night will be make-up, you are available right? Well if you're not you will be so it really doesn't matter.