I bought the new Franz Ferdinand album tonight, and so here I am, writing again.

The Fallen

Erwin Fox had a kind of nerdy name, definitely. Any other person with the name "Erwin" would certainly have been teased mercilessly, but not this Erwin. He had been on the football team in earlier grades, but had since lost interest. He still had the lean build of a quarterback, though, along with the cold, calculating expression of a wartime general. And what did he do now? Well, now he was my fifth period study hall chess partner.

I guess that's one reason I don't get picked on more for my own name: people are probably afraid that making fun of me would make Erwin mad, and, while no one has ever seen him angry, I suspect people believe that no one would live through it.

"Go on," he said evenly, sliding a black pawn forward one space, eyes never moving from the board.

I chewed my lip, trying to consider all possibilities and consequences of any move I could make. Still, it was kind of hard, because I really was distracted by the current conversation. While I probably considered Erwin my closest friend, it felt awkward talking to him about Morgan. Erwin was one of those people that just seemed so aloof that it was just kind of surprising to realize that he could comprehend high school crushes at all. Still, it was nice to try to talk to someone about it rather than just letting the morning's events bounce around in my head any more.

"Well..." I said slowly, fingering a bishop. Erwin didn't react at all, but he had an unbelievable poker face, so, for all I knew, moving this one pace would place me in checkmate within three moves. I moved my hand away. Better to think about it a little more. I sat back and tried to focus on my story instead; there was more than enough time left in the class to finish the game, so I let myself go back to the rainy street.

"After standing out in the rain a while longer, she let me walk her to school," I began. "She was drenched, though, so I let her have my gym clothes to change into."

Erwin's mouth twitched upward slightly in an amused expression. "Always the gentleman, Jude," he commented, then gestured for me to make a move. I frowned and sighed. Better get it over with now. I went ahead and slid the bishop halfway across the board. I imagined that I saw a pleased glint in his eyes for just moment, but he didn't make an answering move right away. Probably deciding which strategy to execute: should he make it quick and painless or slow and horrible?

"Of course," I replied, squirming a little. "Anyway, we were both late, so we had to go get slips from the office."

Erwin nodded and moved his rook two spaces, but left my pieces were they were. Safe to fight another day.

"...And before she went to class, she told me she'd wash them and give them back later," I finished, lamely.

Erwin actually looked up from the chess board then. Now, instead, his eyes were resting on me. He sat back, scoffing softly. "And that was all?" he asked.

I frowned. Saying it out loud really did make it seem less important now. But that morning, knowing that Morgan was going to be walking around in my gym clothes all day had seemed like some sort of strange honor, if not slightly...arousing in some strange way. They had looked weird on her, like they were too big and too little at the same time. The blue jersey shorts that came to my knees feel a good few inches above hers, but that was only before they started to slip down past her narrow hips. The solid t-shirt swallowed her whole before she tied a knot in the back of it. I knew this would stretch it out, but I'd kept my mouth shut. This was the only time I was going to see this girl in my clothes, and so she could do whatever she wanted while she was in them. I wasn't going to complain.

"Yeah...that was all," I said finally. I reached forward and nudged a pawn forward one square.

Without hesitation, Erwin did the same with a pawn of his own. "So you didn't even say anything to her?" he asked in a pitying tone.

"Just 'no hurry' or something like that," I answered finally, moving my remaining knight in its usual L-shaped path. Erwin captured it with a pawn almost as soon as I'd taken my fingers off the piece, and I made a disgusted noise. This game was going horribly.

Erwin snorted and rolled his eyes. "Smooth, Jude. She'll be drooling at your feet in no time."

I would have kept taking the verbal abuse if I hadn't remembered a comment he'd made earlier just then. "Well, what about you?" I asked, an accusatory edge creeping into my voice. I slid a rook forward to take the pawn. "At least I've talked to her. You haven't even done that."

Having the piece captured didn't seem to phase Erwin at all, and if my words had, he didn't show it. "I haven't had the opportunity," he replied calmly. He moved a bishop one square.

"That sounds like a cop-out answer to me," I shot back, moving my rook over a couple of squares.

Erwin snorted a little, moving his own rook forward. "How can I talk to him if I don't know him?" he asked.

This caught me off guard. Erwin had never used a pronoun before—it had always been "The Artist." For no real reason, I'd expected "The Artist" to be "she."

My reaction wasn't missed by Erwin. He smiled, looking amused again. "Well, how else would The Artist be leaving drawings in the men's room?" he asked patiently.

That, I didn't have an answer for. I guess I'd just somehow assumed that she had snuck in there after normal hours, when most of the students had already gone home. I fidgeted, mumbling an "I don't know."

"Furthermore, what kind of name is 'Nero' for a woman, anyway?" he asked, leaning back and folding his arms. "And it's your move."

I nodded slowly, trying to bring my thoughts back to the game. Erwin was talking about it all so calmly... Did he just assume that I'd already known he liked men, or did he really think that it was that unimportant? Maybe it was to him, at least... " 'Nero'?" I asked, voice rising slightly in pitch. Not really seeing, I reached out and nudged a piece forward. It was probably an illegal move, but Erwin didn't call any attention to it, instead just sitting forward to study the board again.

He made an affirmative noise and nodded a little. "He signs them every time," he replied, moving his own knight to capture the piece I'd just moved. He faltered slightly, then looked up at me. His eyes had a look in them I'd never seen before. I couldn't really place it. They seemed a little wild, a little desperate, or maybe a little sad? I couldn't be sure. "Have you really never seen them?" he asked, voice slightly pained.

I couldn't be sure, but it felt like the game was over, now. I shook my head slightly. "No," I said slowly, frowning. Erwin looked slightly hurt at this response.

"They're amazing," he breathed. "Simple, but...not." He smiled somewhat, wistfully. "They're not like anything I've seen before. They speak to me, and he signs each and every one." He paused, eyes dropping. "If only I could find him," he whispered.

I wasn't sure how I should respond. "Nero what?" I asked finally.

"Rhome," he said instantly, lips twitching upward as he chuckled. "Nero Rhome."

I didn't miss the name's significance. "Sounds like a pseudonym." Really, who would name their son 'Nero Rhome'? ...Then again, mine had named me 'Judas Karet,' so maybe it wasn't that big of a stretch.

"I'm fairly positive it is," he answered, though. He sighed, letting his head fall back slightly. "I imagine my only chance of finding him would be to catch him in the act, but that's not going to happen."

I didn't have any suggestions for him. It was almost like having an out-of-body experience. In the span of just a few hours, I'd spoken to Morgan Landers, she was wearing my clothes, my seemingly emotionless best friend came out to me, and now I was talking to him about his gay crush. It was all...so strange. So right and so wrong at the same time. I opened my mouth to say something, but I didn't have any words. Just as the silence began to grow unbearable, the bell rang, signaling the end of class. I stood up quickly, eager to get out of the room and away from Erwin for a little while.

"I've got to talk to my teacher about something before class," I lied lamely, snatching up my backpack, "so I've got to go on now." Erwin only nodded and started gathering up the chess pieces. If he caught the lie, which he probably did, he didn't say anything. I stood there a moment, just rocking on the balls of my feet before speaking again. "So...I'll see you tomorrow?"

Erwin nodded. "Yeah. Tomorrow," he answered.

"Tomorrow," I agreed, nodding. Then I made for the door and away from this entire awkward scene.

I was moving so quickly that I almost ran straight into Morgan, who was making her way down the hall, in the opposite direction of the one I needed. She jumped, startled, and whirled to face me. Her expression softened when she saw who I was, and she actually smiled. "Oh, Juda—" She cut herself off. I'd corrected her on my name that morning. It wasn't that I minded my name, especially if she was the one saying it, but the fewer people at school who knew that my name was really Judas, not Jude, the better.

"It's okay," I said quickly, and she smiled apologetically. I was about to ask her how her day had been going since this morning, but it was then that I caught sight of the guy standing beside her with a slightly bored expression on his face. I faltered for a second. I'd never really seen her with a guy before. Was this her boyfriend? He didn't really seem like her type: skinny and pale with lots of piercings and black clothing. Then again, what did I know about her "type"?

She caught my gaze jumped a little. "Oh, sorry! Jude, this is—" she started, making an effort to introduce us, but he cut her off.

"We're gonna be late if we keep standing here," he said, running his fingers through his pale blond hair and looking at her seriously. His nails were painted black, and he was wearing a wide black leather wrist cuff, complete with studs and a large d-ring. I didn't want my mind to go there, but I instantly thought of the wrist cuff as being part of some sort of kinky bondage game. Uhg.

Morgan frowned, a little confused. "What time is it?" she asked, turning until she spied a clock in the hall. Her eyes widened. "Shit, you're right!" she exclaimed. She turned back to me and smiled a little, shrugging. "Sorry, Jude," she said. "See you later, yeah?" Then she waved and the two of them hurried on without waiting for a response.

Sure, the guy had been pretty rude, but I couldn't bring myself to care. After all, while they were walking away, I'd caught a glimpse of Morgan's neon rainbow-striped thong before she pulled my gym shorts back up. God bless those narrow hips.

Mm. Not sure how I feel about this one. I'll most likely be rewriting it before too long.

When I'd dreamed up Erwin, he already knew exactly who Nero was and was planning to do unspeakable (in a good way) things to him. That, and he was narrating his own chapter. Though I'm not in love with this chapter, I do like it better this way. Erwin will have his own chapter later, I promise!