Shelly the Seahorse

A Totally Non-Politically Influenced Story

Once upon a time, there was a magic seahorse named Shelly. She lived on a merry coral reef and was very happy there. One day, a passing oil tanker crashed and spilled tons and tons of gooey black oil into the water. Not only did Shelly realize that this spill might cause a rise in gas prices, but she also realized that she might get trapped in the terrible mess. As Shelly was fleeing from her home, she heard the cries of her good fried, Lobstro the Lobster. Lobstro was caught in the oil and struggling for help. Shelly quickly came to the rescue but Lobstro refused to be saved by a girl, so Shelly left him there to die the death he deserves. As Shelly resumed her escape from the bio-hazardous disaster she began to feel ill. Then she realized that because of Global-Warming the oceans were being boiled! Shelly fled to a deep dark rift where the water was still cool. But also many other fish had fled to this rift, including the last living dolphin. Through pollution and other environmentally unfriendly practices, the dolphin population was now almost nothing. Also in the rift was a capitalistic shark who tried to eat Shelly for his gain only! Shelly then saw that the whole world was in danger of destruction, so she set out on a journey where she would battle these problems and others such as, illegal immigration, the war in Iraq, impoverished 3rd world countries, republicans, and fast food. You can help Shelly on her quest by sending me, Al Gore, $10,000. I promise that not a penny of it will be spent on my brand new SUV (which I made a big down-payment on by the way) or on remodeling my Hawaiian vacation home, or any of my other vacation homes.

THE END