Joker & The Thief


(Inspired by the eponymous song by Wolfmother, as well as "All Along the Watchtower". Could lead places.)

So... what're you in for? Heh.


Ho-ho! A real bad apple you must be. You stole something? How terrifying.

Access codes.


They were access codes that I stole. To the Network.

...Oh. Well, then. That's quite a different story now, isn't it, pal? Guess you belong here after all.

Yes. And yourself?

What's that?

Why were you detained?

Who, me? Heheheh. I'm here 'cause someone didn't get the joke.

What joke?

You wouldn't understand. Let's call it... an 'inside joke'. Ha-ha-HA-ha!

You're him, aren't you?

Him who?

Him. The one they've been looking for.

Hmm... well, if I am him, looks like they found me, eh?

Why did you do it? Kill all those people?

For laughs.

No, really. Why? I'm very curious. I followed your story on the news for quite some time.

Yeah, well... what can I say, ya know? I wanted out of it.

Out of it?

It was too much. All those rules, those schedules. 'Go here, do this' and 'Go there, do that'. Nah. Not for me. Besides... none of those bastards really got it, ya know?

Got what?

See? You don't even know. None of ya do. And that's the biggest joke of 'em all.

Lots of people feel that way. Come on, we both know there's more to it than that. Few men would go through what we have to end up here if there weren't something more.

It was... I dunno... the essence of things. The... the worth. They just didn't get it. Well, no... there was one. This... this girl...


Yeah. She got it, I think. But...


Heheh. What can I say? I took her away, too.


It's an old beast in me that's searchin', pal.

Still... all that nonsense... all that chaos... because people didn't understand something? Sounds silly to me. No reason to get so... excited.

Well, what about you, then, eh? Why steal some codes? That doesn't sound goofy to you?

...We're not going home, you know.

What's that?

I've seen it. They're not taking us home. We're all being lied to.

So what's the real story, then? I mean, there must be someway outta this.

No. They're always watching. You really think they couldn't have had you whenever they wanted? Or me?

Why not get us before we did what we did, then?

We weren't a threat yet. You can't arrest a man for a crime he hasn't committed, now can you?

Yeah, well... Wait. Wait.


Hey, you hear that?

I don't know, I... Yes. Yes, I hear it now.

What do you think that is?

Something outside. They're coming for us, I think.

The guards?



Listen closer. That isn't coming from outside the cell. It's coming from Outside. See? Look, it's shaking the walls.

What's going on?

I told you, didn't I? We're not going home.

Then... where we goin'?

You don't mean... You mean, they're... Heh. Heheheh. HehehehehahahahaHAHAHAHAHA! Now, that's a joke!


To clarify, the dialogue takes place between a serial killer ("Joker") and a computer hacker ("The Thief") in a prison cell on board a generation ship supposedly headed back to Earth (think Battlestar Galactica; Earth is an ancient mythic world). Only, as the hacker says, they "are not going home". As for what lies Outside, that I'll leave for interpretation.