I went back to ACS (i) to check on Dr One's hill. I mean, after all, I somewhat destroyed it. Though I think that it was Wesley who engineered the whole thing (he must have dug tunnels in the soil and stuff, what sort of caterpillar was he anyway?) and I think he's a hybrid between a caterpillar and an earthworm because of that. Somehow, I felt a sense of responsibility towards the hill.

Then again, which self respecting caterpillar would burrow in the soil? I shook my head. Wesley was a weird caterpillar. And somewhat of an idiot too. A weirdiot.

Hmmm. A weirdiot. I like the sound of that.

A weirdiot.

A person or living thing which behaves in a weird and irrational manner as well as frequently indulges in stupid and useless activities. Synonymous with 'love struck fool', 'weird idiot' and 'stupid person who gives retarded ideas and does stupid things'.

Basically, a weirdiot is a weirdo plus idiot.

I found Wesley sitting on top of Dr One's hill, eating strawberry pocky, school tie loosened, feelers swaying in the wind. I wondered why he had his feelers on without his teachers scolding him. Then again, whether it was real or fake was an entirely different matter altogether.

I sighed as I 'flopped' down beside him, sitting somewhat crosslegged, careful not to let my skin touch the grass (ugh, gross) when I remembered that I was not wearing any shorts underneath my pinafore. I made do with wrapping my skirt around my pinafore (my english teacher says it's ungraceful or something but really, who cares?) and I squatted down beside Wesley.

"Hello," he drawled as he bit on a stick of strawberry pocky. "What are you doing here?"

"Checking to see if someone buried you here," I replied sarcastically as I took a stick of pocky without asking.

He arched an eyebrow, as if to ask 'and so?'.

My eyebrow twitched and as I was about to take another stick of pocky-


Ernest (the nasty white rabbit) appeared in front of us, looking absolutely irritated. I wondered why.

"Ahem," he cleared his throat as he dusted some gray specks off his dark green shorts. I wondered if he actually bothered to change his clothes. "The second match of the battle of ignotus, hangamn, will begin at eighteen hundred hours sharp at the field of Santa Nicola Girls' School. Please prepare three words."

And he disappeared.

"So," I sat down on my bed, with Rui Xun beside me, Danny on the swivel chair at my study desk, Rex sitting on the cool marble flooring and Wesley somewhat floating in mid air. "What three words do you suggest we pick?"

"The colour of your underwear," Rui Xun smirked. "Black."

I stared at him. How the hell did he know about the colour of my underwear?! Had he been raiding my drawer?!

Danny chuckled and I glared at him. "He hasn't been peeking in your wardrobe. It's just that there's only one standard colour of underwear hanging on the bamboo pole at your side of the balcony."

I rolled my eyes. Danny may have found out in that manner but Rui Xun? Bah. If I was a three year old kid I'd probably believe him though.

"We'll take it," Wesley nodded. "We can just say teh subject is colour."

I sighed, defeated.



Everyone turned to look in Rex's direction.

"That was my extra curricular activity in primary school," he said, with a ghost of a smile.

"Ok..." I nodded. "Oh. The last one. Courage."

Danny smiled. Wesley arched an eyebrow, and smiled. The corners of Rex's mouth twitched and slowly, he smiled. Rui Xun grinned like the idiot he was.

I was peeved. "What's the joke all about?"

"Nothing," Rui Xun smiled. "Just a little value all of us seem to admire."

"Ok..." I said slowly.

There was an long silence.

I looked at the digital clock on my study desk. It was only five o'clock, yet I didn't want to stay any longer in the awkward silence. "Let's go."

We strolled into my school. I was clad in my yellow class t-shirt that read 'i crave for faith' and a pair of rather short black shorts.

Wesley dusted something which looked suspiciously like cobwebs off his navy blue trousers. I looked at him, Danny and Rex. All three of them were clad in their school uniform. Weirdiots.

The sky was darkn though it was only 5.30pm. The track spotlights were switched on, illuminating the entire track and field with almost blinding white light.

I wondered where was Theresa C. and her minions. Wondered if I'd get to see Minghui adn actually check if his mole was on his left cheek or right.

There was a loud crack and someone appeared beside me.

"Yo," the boy drawled, and grinned.

"Minghui, you suck," Rui Xun rolled his eyes. "You flirt with my Alice, I'll make sure you won't have any balls to make you a man."

Minghui stuck out his tongue and turned to me. His mole was on his left cheek, just like I had suspected. Yet, instead of making him look nasty (like Ernest's mole does to him) it somehow made him look... Kind of cute. He pushed up his purple circular rimmed glasses and his eyes ranged freely over my ody, which made me feel as if he was scrutinizing me. Looking through me. Instinctively, I grabbed Rui Xun's sleeve.

Rui Xun had a murderous look on his face.

"Not bad, your Alice," Minghui grinned. "A bit on the flat and fat side, but still."

I kicked his right shin.

"Ouch!" he grabbed his leg in agony.

Rex whistled. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned."

I rolled my eyes as I made my way to the centre of the field. The wet grass clung to my feet and at once I regretted my decision to wear my "borrowed" flip-flops. I had taken them from my sister's cupboard without her permission - after all, it was only one out of the hundreds she had, surely she wouldn't notice?


Ernest appeared in front of me, in a cream coloured woolen knitted jacket and his usual dark green shortsw. I felt somewhat relieved that he had finally changed his clothes and I half choked as I smelt deodorant.

I sneezed. "Bless me," I muttered, as usual.

"Bless you," Danny said as he patted my back gently.

"Thank you," I muttered as I rubbed my nose, feeling kind of blessed. I scanned the field for Theresa C.

There, in the distance, was a short stubby figure, flanked by a couple of taller figures and surprise, surprise, with another short figure. I wondered who the other short figure was.

"Announcing the arrival of the Queen of Hearts!" announced a card soldier in a rather pompous and nasal voice.

I rolled my eyes as I wondered what fashion disaster she would present me with this time.

There was a loud 'SWOOSH' and my jaw dropped as a huge red carpet unravelled itself from out of nowhere. Holy shit, was this the Oscar Awards' ceremony or something?

I cringed as I caught sight of the Queen of Hearts, decked out in monstrous finery, a gigantic red fur cape that seemed twice her size.

"Audrey!" she shrieked. "Why aren't you holding up my cape? Do you know how much it costs? Hold it up NOW! Don't let it touch the grass!"

"Yes, your majesty," came a hurried reply, and out popped a girl slightly taller than Theresa C. from behind her. She looked kind of friendly but at the same time, extremely distressed. She was carrying a humoungous backpack that looked like a toroise's shell on her back and it's seams were bursting. At the corner of my eye I saw Rex gaping in astonishment.

The girl, I presumed, was named Audrey. The two palm sized golden bells at the ends of her red and black jester hat jingled as she walked. The hat seemed too big for her as it was twice the size of her head.

"Who is she?" I whispered to Rui Xun.

"Either one of the jokers or the joke," he rolled his eyes as he stuffed his hands into his beige shorts, to which I raised my eyebrows.

"The joke?" I was puzzled more so by the uniform that he was wearing. Where on earth did he get it from? The white shirt looked amazingly good, and definitely not because he was wearing it. It was short sleeved, with two chest pockets with a chinky silver button on each pocket, with those kind of flaps you see on the shoulders of army uniforms on which you put ranks. Or was it epaulettes or something? I forgot. But still. Then I noticed the red badge on his collar.

Rui Xun smirked. "Institution pour les Chevaliers Honorables."


He rolled his eyes at my ignorance of the strange french words he spoke. "Institution for the Honourable Knights. HCI. High school section."

He merely smiled and pulled out a purse with the face of Skeleton Jack from the nightmare before christmas on it. I raised an eyebrow - didn't know that cats actually watched disney movies - and he dug out the tube of apple-flavoured mentos once more. He threw it at me and I caught it, much to my own surprise.

"What's that for?" I asked, pretty certain that it contained certain magical powers that I did not know candy could contain.

"You'll find out soon enough," he winked and my eyebrow twitched.

"Joke!" Minghui yelled loudly and Audrey turned around.

"Yes?" she snapped at him, irritated, holding on to Theresa C.'s cape. Her thick navy blue glasses had slid down her nose, making her look like somewhat of an old grandmother, coupled with the short bob haircut she had.

Minghui smirked. "Nothing."

The 'procession' continued and Theresa C. stopped in front of me. I choked on my saliva as I saw her clothing - it was the same black cotton pants and rubbishy sandals but this time, her top of choice was the knee length staple dress that most teachers had. Except in Theresa C.'s case, it had to be worn as a top for well, obvious reasons. Her 'dress' was khaki in colour and it was sleeveless - the neckline was round, strangely emphasizing on the roundness of her face.

I was disgusted.

"Hello Vanessa," she said and sniffed, rather haughtily.

I did my best not to look down (both literally and figuratively) upon her. "Uh, hi."

Ernest came between the both of us and raised an eyebrow at me, then another eyebrow at Theresa C.

Audrey looked visibly appalled.

"What, Audrey?" Theresa C. snapped at the Joke.

"Your, your, your majesty," Audrey stammered. "Raising one's eyebrow at another has, uh, sexual connotations!"

My entire army (me included) burst out laughing. Ernest had a 'what the hell?!' look on his face. Minghui sniggered, Theresa C. looked distressed.

"It's not funny!" Audrey looked at us in a 'what is wrong with you guys?' manner. "My cousin told me that Christopher from 'the curious incident of a dog in the night time' said that!"

"Oi, Rex, come here," Rui Xun motioned for the mad hatter to stand beside him and he did. "Let's demo what does one do when one wants to go to bed with another."

"Why not?" Rex smirked.

Rui Xun threw Rex a come-hither look. "C'mon here, baby."

My eyebrow twitched.

Rex sidled up to Rui Xun and batted his eyelashes. He draped an arm across Rui Xun's shoulders. "Yeah, handsome?" he said in a falsetto so high I swear he sounded more like a girl than I ever did.

"Wanna spend the night at my place tonight?" the cheshire cat groped the mad hatter's bottom playfully. "I've got champagne, your favourite."

"Ooh la la," Rex squealed and slid his hand down Rui Xun's waist. "Sure, sexy."

Danny and Wesley were laughing so hard their faces were red. I rolled my eyes. "Cut!" I yelled. "Thank you for the demo, I'm sure it was rather, ah, enlightening."

The two guys smirked and bowed. "You're welcome.:"

Audrey looked mortified and so did Theresa C. Minghui seemed to be rolling on the field laughing. Ernest was desperately trying to control his laughter. The rest of the card soldiers seemed to be at a loss of what to do.

I looked at Ernest and felt a terrible urge to start laughing too. "If you don't mind, please, let's just get this damn party started."

"Ok," Ernest said between fits of laughter. "Let the second battle, hangman, begin!"

A/n: thanks for the reviews! won't be updating soon but keep those lovely reviews coming! bye!