That Moment

I was strolling along the beach.

I could hear the waves crashing on the shore and the seagulls lingering somewhere nearby. I tried to shut out the voices around me. They were mostly of children with their families, talking animatedly and laughing loudly amongst one another.

I was savoring feel of the cool breeze blowing past me and the feel of the sand tickling my toes, my slippers lay forgotten a few feet back.

I came here to escape.

People who knew me well would know that this beach was my sanctuary, my safe haven. This was where I ran to when I needed to relax, have fun, and even clear my head. And I needed time for myself, to think mostly.

I was taking in the beauty of the setting sun, one of the wonders of nature that never fails to captivate me.

At that moment, I noticed a solitary figure approaching me.

My eyes caught his unmistakable jet black hair and eyes so brilliant like emeralds, a crooked grin playing on his lips. There was something about him. He held a certain. . charm.

It all seemed so familiar. . A gasp escaped my lips when I realized who it was.

I was rooted to the spot, like the idiot that I was. My heart was hammering so loudly in my chest. I would be surprised if he couldn't hear it from over there.

It couldn't be him. He left this place. He left me. He moved on. And now, just when I was beginning to accept the fact he was never coming back, he suddenly appears.

It may sound really stupid, but at the time, it seemed reasonable enough. For me, at least. I pinched my arm to check if I was dreaming that this was just my subconscious taunting me with my . . . past. I felt the sting on my arm, but not as much as what came over me the instant I realized that I would have to face him in just a matter of seconds.

Someone shoot me, please. Shoot me now.

I was suddenly aware of his eyes on me. This intensity of his gaze compelled me to look down, to hide the blush that was creeping up my cheeks.

So he still had that effect on me. How pathetic. It was inexcusable to be self-conscious under his scrutiny. But I was.

When I managed to get a grip on myself, I looked up. And he was standing close to me, almost close enough to reach out and touch. Every trace of the playful smile on his face was gone. I could tell he was serious now. He seemed to hesitate and paused there, as if to analyze my reaction to his sudden return, wondering how I would receive him.

My first instinct was to punch him or kicked him where it hurt. I fought back a smirk at that thought. I wanted him to feel the pain that he caused. Although I knew that a few moments of throbbing pain and a possible bruise would not do justice to what I had to suffer for a couple of months, I had to inflict some pain on him.

It was hardly fair, but it was better than nothing.

But then, he broke the silence.

And all rational thought left me, bringing along with it the anger I felt towards the boy, who just took two strides to stand closer to me. All that anger, I realized, was just a facade for what I really felt inside. And anger was not one of them. . .

"Sam." My heart skipped. I was amazed how his deep, gentle voice still had that effect on my, as well. "I missed you."

I thought the span of time I had away from him would immune me from his. . charms. I guess I was wrong about that.

His very presence seemed to cloud my judgment. I let my emotions get the best of me, one of my many weaknesses. This was my poor excuse for not walking away from him like I should have and finally saying his name out loud, something I have steered clear of ever since he. . left. His name brought back memories and feelings I'd rather forget.

I cleared my throat before speaking. "Evan."

Of course, he was one of the few, who knew where to find me when I disappear from what I'd like to call, the real world.

The way I saw it, he came here to do either of these two things. If not to continue what we started together, then to finally end this right. Have some closure between us.

I know that he knew that I needed that to finally move on myself. If you asked me which one I wanted a couple of months ago, I would have said the former. But right now, to be honest, I'm not quite sure which one anymore.

It was the least he could do after running off without telling me, leaving only a letter addressed to me.

A letter that lay, unopened but not forgotten, on my bedside table. I never opened it, but I held it in my hands almost everyday. I didn't want to read it, because I'd rather hear whatever he had to say, whatever explanation he had for his sudden disappearance, personally from him.

I never even got to say goodbye. But the more I think about our last few days together, the more I recognize the signs. He seemed worn-out though he hid it well. It seemed like he barely had any sleep at all. He tended to zone out and get lost in his thoughts. And the last time he held me in his arms, our last kiss; it was like he was saying goodbye. . .

His voice pulled me from my train of thought.

"Before I say anything, tell me what's on you mind right now." He reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear. His gaze locked on mine.

I had a lot on my mind, then.

The thought of putting myself out there again, in that vulnerable state, scared me. The thought of reaching out to him just when I was ready to let go, scared me.

The fact that he still had such a strong hold over me, that he could hurt me again, scared me. The fact that my happiness was still in his hands, scared me.

The uncertainty and fear I felt was strong. But something much, much stronger rose above them.

The weeks that followed his departure have been the longest, most difficult and painful in the whole eighteen years of my life. Going through all that once was more than enough. I don't think I could survive if he would leave me again.

When he left, he brought a significant part of me along with him. I was never the same person. People saw me as this sad, empty, broken girl. They had no idea where the old Samantha had gone. They wanted her back; I wanted her back. But I didn't know how.

When I stared at the mirror, the person gazing back at me looked like me. But that was just the surface.

When I looked closer, she was a stranger. That scared me.

But now, I'm thinking that will all change. Things will work out. But now, there was nothing more I wanted than to feel his arms around me and to know that he was there with me.

"I never read your letter, and even if I did, you would still have some explaining to do." I winced, as his hands touched my face for the first time in a long time. "And you know you owe me an apology. But all I want right now is to be with you."

"Sam, you have to know that these past weeks have been crazy for me," he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. I melted. "I thought you wouldn't want me after what I put you through, but I had to come back. I had to give it a shot. Do you think you could forgive me?"

"If you mean it . . . but it won't come so easily." He smirked at my response.

"I can't believe how stupid I was. I wasn't even man enough to say goodbye. I am sorry." I searched his eyes, and all I found was sincerity in them. "And I will make up for it all, I promise you that."

Then, I saw it in his eyes. He was going to kiss me. And I was going to let him.

He showed no hint of hesitation when he leaned in and his lips gently touched mine. I felt like I was the most precious thing with the way he held me close. My feeble memory did not do justice to his actual kisses. He kissed me, and the fireworks came on, just like in the movies, but even better. I couldn't help but wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him back.

"I love you, Sam." He murmured against my lips. "I always have and always will."

It didn't matter what was in his letter.

It didn't matter what he was up while he was gone.

It didn't matter to me why he left in the first place.

Because he was here now.

It didn't matter if I was unsure of what was going to happen next.

Because I had that moment.

At that moment, none of it really mattered. The world didn't matter.

Because I had that moment, with Evan.

At that moment, everything was as it used to be, as it should be. At that moment, I felt complete again.

At that moment, we were happy.

Because we were together again, and that was all that matter, really.

The End.

a/n: read and review please. i'd appreciate to hear what you've got to say. i'll accept all your comments and even criticism.