The lookout was practically empty even though it was early in the day and sunny. I curled up on one of the large rocks that made up the majority of the shore in this part of beach and buried my face in my knees. I really wished I was invisible at that moment. I had embarrassed myself and my family, I had said awful things about my sister that she heard, and Macen, well, if he didn't hate me before, he certainly must have now. I glanced over at him as he crossed his legs and sat beside me, face stern as it looked out over the water.

"You really made quite the mess, you know that?" I nodded even though he wasn't looking at me to see it. He must have known I did it though, because he sighed and continued, "Good. At least you know. This is why I ran after we slept together. I didn't want to deal with this! Complications just aren't my thing and you're one big walking complication."

Ouch. Seriously… ouch.

"I mean - what? So do you like me now? It was one meaningless fling. I do enjoy riling you up and you're a good kisser and you're good in bed and I wouldn't mind just fooling around, but you come with all this psychotic crazy that I can't deal with. I don't want strings or jealousy or emotional outbursts like the one today. I just want to be able to hang out casually and goof off." So that's all this was? It really was just a game to him? I felt like such a massive idiot, even more so than before.

"I don't like you. I just… see? That's all you needed to tell me. I just needed to know what was going on. I hate being toyed with. If you just want a fling, then tell me and that's fine, but don't flirt and act possessive and then expect that I know what you want from me or what you don't." I felt pretty sick to my stomach as I tried to play it cool with him. How did I let this mess get so damn big? This is why I didn't need a boyfriend or anyone setting me up.

"I… I wasn't possessive. When?"

"Never mind, just… just forget it." I grumbled and turned my back to him slightly, but he grabbed my arm and turned me back.

"Don't give me your back, Asa. We're talking here!" He held my arm firmly, but not painfully tight, so I couldn't turn back around. "I think you're hot. I want to be around you because… you're hot. I keep kissing you and I slept with you because you're hot. I just don't want to date you because you're hot. It doesn't work like that. You're so dramatic and temperamental and I don't need that stress. Plus, I promised myself that I wouldn't take any more relationships seriously since my last girlfriend and I split up. I don't want serious."

"God, I get it, Macen. I don't want to date you either so you don't have to explain yourself. I don't care. I actually just wanted to make sure you weren't looking for something serious. I like Alex. A lot. He's perfect for me and I find him unbelievably attractive." I felt awkward saying those things, especially to Macen, who was, in fact, my ideal man in looks. "I want to date Alex, so I needed to make sure you didn't want to date, what with all your 'don't talk about other men' and 'I can make my own stories with you' crap. I just got carried away with my anger. I'm PMS-ing right now and I lost my senses."

He was quiet for a minute, his face still grim. His hand slowly relaxed around my arm until he released me completely and tucked his hands into his sweatshirt pockets. It was a thin sweatshirt, but I still briefly wondered how he could wear it in this heat. "Ok, well… good. So neither one of us wants to date. You want to date Alex. That's good. You should then."

"I think I might. I was going to talk to him about it when he came to visit this weekend." I crossed my arms over my knees and leaned my forehead on them with a long, drawn out sigh.

"He's coming to visit this weekend? Didn't you just see him not too long ago?" I shot him a look that said he was bordering on possessive again and he shut up and looked away.

"I saw him last weekend; it's been five or so days now. Besides, that isn't your business, right?"

"Right."

We sat in silence for a while, but it was only slightly awkward. Thankfully. Macen then stood up abruptly and turned toward me. I waited for him to say something, but he seemed to be warring with himself over whether he should speak or not.

"Can we… make out one last time?" My shock must have been evident because he looked uneasy and then continued, "I just mean… like I said, you're hot. I'm undeniably physically attracted to you and it's going to drive me crazy if I don't get it out of my system before you go off limits. So if we just mutually agree to make out for a bit, I think that could be satisfying."

"Uh… Macen, I really don't think that's a good idea." I briefly thought of all the wet dreams I'd had recently and shook my head. No way. I definitely could not guarantee my ability to restrain myself.

Apparently he either guessed what I was thinking or he was thinking the same thing, because he looked really hesitant for a moment. Then he grabbed my arms and pulled me to stand, immediately moving in for a kiss. He kept it short and pulled back, like he was testing the waters. I wanted to pull him back, but I wasn't dying to do so. "That wasn't so bad, right?"

"No, I guess not." He leaned back in and kissed me again, deeper this time. Longer. His hands held tight to my sides and pulled me flush against him. When he pulled back that time I was breathless, but still seemed to have fairly good control over myself.

"See? I think it'll be fine." Without another thought, he laced his fingers with mine and started pulling me back to his car. He squeezed my hand, perhaps trying to reassure me, and dragged me up the hill to the road where he parked.

Once we got to his car he pushed me up against the side and started kissing me again, opening the back door in the process. He lifted me inside and climbed in after me, shutting the door behind him before resuming the kisses. I had this terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that we were making a mistake, but neither of us had seemed to lose their mind yet so it was possible I was just being paranoid, right?

His right hand cupped the back of my neck while his left went around my back and swept me into a laying position. He kneeled above me, looking down and pausing for a moment. I wasn't an expert on guys or expressions or anything, but it did briefly look as if he was regretting this or as if he was pained. I was about to stop him, to save us both from suffering, when he leant down and captured my lips again.

It was so wrong. How could I be making out with him when I just said I wanted to date Alex? When my mother was at home fully aware of the fact that Macen and I had slept together? When my sister was at home probably feeling like shit since I all but called her a worthless tramp? I was an awful person, even more so because it seemed like all I cared about was making out with the damn boy on top of me, even with all the other problems going on around us. I was the worst sister and the worst daughter and the worst potential girlfriend in the world.

And still I couldn't make myself pull away from Macen. I couldn't stop him from pulling off my shirt or fondling my breasts or switching our positions so I was straddling his lap. I couldn't keep myself from grinding into him or removing his shirt or nibbling on his ear, which earned me moan I couldn't ignore. I felt my restraint drifting away and I struggled to hold on to it. I knew this was going to happen, but now that it was I was having the damnedest time stopping it. I almost didn't want to, even though I had been so horrified by the idea moments before. It was just that the way his fingers slid into my hair and trailed down my neck felt so sensuous and so right. If was that, even in this heat, his body warmth was comfortable and welcoming. His lips were addicting and enticing. If he wasn't such an asshole and if he was interested, this whole summer could have gone differently. If I wasn't such a bitch, this whole summer could have gone differently. I was well aware of how everything became so fucked up, but it was hard to not ask myself how it happened anyway.

I slid my hand up Macen's thigh as I sat back a bit further on his knees. He closed his eyes and groaned as my touch ran over his sensitive hardness. He grabbed my wrist and kept my hand from moving away as his eyes opened again and locked with mine. The look in them clearly said 'I want you', even if I wasn't good with expressions, I knew that look well enough – probably because mine was exactly the same. He used his hold on my wrist to yank me back close to him and devour my lips with a fierce passion. His hands slid over my bare back and I released a breathy sigh, which seemingly aroused him more. Just as he flipped me onto my back, my cellphone started blaring in my pocket. Macen seemed ready to ignore it, but the ringtone snapped me out of my foggy state and I pushed him off.

He looked annoyed as I dug the mobile device out of my jeans and flipped it open. His mouth descended onto my neck, but I shrugged him off, earning me another withering glare. "Hey, Alex." If looks could kill, Macen's would have had me six feet under. "Uh, yeah, tomorrow right? Yeah, I can't wait to see you. Haha, you're bad – seriously." I chuckled, feeling highly uncomfortable with Macen right next to me as I flirted with Alex. Macen looked livid and threw his shirt back on quickly, exiting the car and slamming the door behind him.

"Oh, don't mind that. It was just some guy in the car next to me. He seems to be pissed off over something." I curled up in the seat, my expression not matching the tone I was putting on for the redhead on the other end of the line. "I miss you too. Hey, I'm sorry, but now isn't the best time for us to chat. I was sort of in the middle of meeting up with friends. Can I call you back later? Oh, yeah, that's fine. We'll talk tomorrow then. Alright. Bye." I snapped my phone shut and sighed heavily. Of all people, it had to be Alex calling.

A moment later, after putting my shirt back on, I climbed out of the truck to see Macen leaning against the side of it. His face was back to being dark and his arms were crossed. He was even pouting a bit if I wasn't imagining it. "Done talking to lover boy?"

"Yeah."

"Not even denying it anymore? Wow. You must really like him." His voice sounded pretty harsh and I huffed and crossed my arms as well.

"Seriously? You want me to date him; you don't want to date me. I don't want to date you; I want to date Alex. What is your fucking problem?" I walked closer, but that was a bad decision as he grabbed me roughly and pinned me to the car with his body.

"I'm just sexually frustrated now, so I'm a little agitated. It's extremely annoying to be interrupted in the middle of something…" He leaned in close to my ear, his steamy breath fanning over my ear and giving me the shivers. I knew where he was going with this, but I couldn't continue what we were doing before. Instead, I sidestepped around him and climbed into the passenger seat of his truck, leaning out the window once I had closed the door.

"Can you just bring me home? I have to clear things up with my mother and apologize to my sister so things are less awkward tomorrow when Alex shows up," I explained, though that was hardly the actual reason I wanted to go home. I really just wanted to avoid temptation.

Macen looked a bit outraged for a moment and then it turned into defeat and he grudgingly went around and climbed into the truck as well, starting it with an annoyed, "Fine."

Really, how did my life get so complicated so quickly? I had never missed London more than I did at that moment.


A/N: Ok, so I just noticed that the last chapter I updated put me over the 50k word mark by about 130 words. I was super excited so I decided to post the third finished chapter, even though I was going to wait until tomorrow to do it. I figure if I took out all the Author's Notes then this chapter would actually put me over 50k words for the story. Now, don't take this as fact because things change relatively easily when you're writing a story, but that could mean that this story is about halfway finished. I was aiming at 100k words for it. I might not get there or I might go over, but that was the original estimation. Anyway, that probably doesn't matter to you guys (gals?), but I thought I would share regardless!

Also, for anyone who has been reading this story over the years it's taken me to get this far... Thanks so much for sticking with me! For everyone including the new readers - much love (I would draw you a heart, but FP doesn't allow it. boo!) ~ Caiti