4Waiting for you
I must confess I am the kind of girl who gives cupid, if he exists, nightmares. He has probably given up trying to pierce my elusive heart with his petty love arrows or why else would I be twenty-six, single and no prospects in sight? But he did try, through what I like to call the matchmaking trio, my three aunts. I would be out of breath long before I finish counting the number of times they had tried to set me up with 'eligible' bachelors in the hope that I would be swept off my feet and they would finally get to plan my wedding and start petting nieces or nephews.
'So and so is a nice young man...' Gertrude, my dad's older sister would start in what she believed was dropping subtle hint. In my opinion it was as subtle as a brick to the forehead. I could see her coming from a mile away and sure enough before the week was through I would find myself being introduced to the nice young man; after which cupid in the form of Gertrude would vanish into thin air to watch from the wings in hope that love would blossom.
Or it would be Marie my mum's younger sister, three years older than I and by far the trendiest of the trio, who would try her luck. Her modus operandi being to drag me to as many weddings as possible in hope that I would meet at one of them. Ashley on the other hand, my dad's twin sister, had none of her counterpart's pretences at subtlety so she boldly set me up on blind dates ...their dreams were shattered time and time again.
It wasn't that I didn't play along because I did. Like an actress reciting her lines I said and did what was expected of me but I was detached. The men did not interest me in a romantic way and even though I had a lot in common with some of them we more often than not ended up being friends but that, to the trio's increasing frustration, was as far as it went. Driven to their limits they confronted me one sunny afternoon as we lazed around the pool at Ashley's home.
'You aren't getting any younger Dinah…' Ashley began in her usually blunt fashion,
'I know' I replied equally blunt, with Aunt Ashley I learnt to give as good as I got, no beating about the bush or pretending not to know what she was talking about, it just got her angry and an angry Ashley wasn't something you would want to deal with.
'So what are you waiting for?' Marie whined on my left, 'Do you have any idea how frustrating it is playing cupid for someone as choosy as you?'
'I am not choosy!' I protested hotly
'Oh really? Then what was wrong with Geoffrey' she retorted
'He had an ego the size of this country, figured he was Adonis himself and I ought to have been swooning at his feet the moment he said my name' I shot back
'Marcus?'
The reply was fast in coming
'Marcus was Metrosexual, he wanted to discuss shampoos brands and nail polish over dinner! Not my idea of a hot date, heck, I am still not convinced he wasn't gay'
'Denis?'
'Denis was insecure; three phone calls in less than an hour just to say hi? That just screams desperation to me.'
'You are impossible!' Marie exclaimed frustrated while I grinned back triumphantly, then on further thought she mentioned another name 'what of Dan?'
'Dan who? Oh yeah Dan. The one who couldn't stop talking about the new software program he is developing? Look, Dan was nice, smart, intelligent, good looking and obviously had it made but his conversation skills left a lot to be desired. I get enough of that kind of talk at the office why should I have to endure it on a night out?' I queried throwing my hands in the air. 'That I turned him down was not being choosy. It's just being smart enough to know that if we ever hooked up I'll always come second to his job! So don't blame me, blame your skills at picking likely dates.'
'Every guy I introduced you to was a good person…' Gertrude quietly cut in, she is the sage on the match making trio, I guess being the oldest in the group she automatically sounds wise and spews truths like an oracle. Problem is she talks like one, telling you random things that you have to piece together to get a shred of meaning, '…I don't think the question we should be asking is whatDinah is waiting for but rather who?…'
See? I told you, she never makes any sense! Me waiting for someone? Where she even got the idea I can't start to imagine...
'Seen Andrew of late?' Gertrude cut through my mental ranting
'Of course not, I haven't seen him since high school and he didn't even know I existed back then… wait a minute… when did we go from talking about my non-existent love life to grilling me about a high school crush I haven't seen in seven years?' I asked frowning into each of their faces in turn and as expected it was Ashley who set me straight
'Getty here believes you were never over Andy. So you are still holding out hopping to run into him someday and this time makes him notice you'
'ASHLEY!' I roared 'first of all, its Andrew not Andy, secondly I got over him a long time ago…'
'Then why are you being so defensive about him?'
'I am not' how did she come to that conclusion?
Ashley raised an eyebrow and began to mimic me '…its Andrew not Andy…Why would you care what I called him if you are over him?'
You know, I just realised why Ashley is one of the country's best lawyers, like dad, she listens to every word you say and twists it to suit her purpose. I was still thinking of a reply when Marie's shrill voice invaded my mind
'Admit it Dinah, the only reason no one's caught your attention yet is because they are not Andrew.'
'That is not true'
'Then prove it' Ashley demanded
I blinked, how exactly did she expect me to do that? Shout I am over him five times? Before I could form the words to channel my rather uncharitable thoughts she spoke again
'Describe him'
Two simple words. Just two simple words but they took me back to what felt like a lifetime ago. Like a kaleidoscope images of him flew before my eyes. I could see him walk into my class, the first time I had ever set my eyes on him. I could see him running in the field looking absolutely gorgeous in his Games kits. There he was again sitting in class two desks in front of me, running the fingers of his left hand distractedly through his curly short dark hair as he puzzled out some mathematical question, gnawing at his bottom lip the whole time. I was so caught up in my mind I didn't even notice the wistful tone that lingered in my voice when I began to speak
'Soft brown eyes that twinkle when he smiles, and he does have a cute smile made even more endearing by the slight dimple that appears on his left cheek, short curly dark hair, stands six feet tall, lean but muscular, walks with a slight limp the result of an accident that broke his right leg…'. I never found out what the accident was. '… Personality wise he is hardworking, rather shy taking his time to know someone before opening up, to most people he may seem withdrawn and detached but to friends he is a fun loving rebel'. I chuckled as memories of some of his escapades came to mind '… he is incredibly smart though, always top of the class with apparently little effort.'
Finished with my recitation, I looked up and was met with a scaring sight. The trio were grinning so hard, any harder and their lips would crack. Just in case you haven't guessed it yet a happy matchmaker is not a good thing it and I had three!
'What?'
Gertrude just smiled harder, Marie fell apart laughing and Ashley shook her head and spoke
'You should have seen your face the whole time you were talking…girl your eyes were sparkling! Your voice was…'she waved her hands about trying to find the right term '…dreamy and …mellow! Yes that's it… all mellow and nostalgic' she shook her head again and threw her hands in the air 'you can deny it all you want Dinah but the fact is you are still hung up on Andy'
And for what seemed the umpteenth time in that afternoon I couldn't seem to find a reply. Maybe they were right, but even if they were what then? Andrew and I parted ways seven years ago. I have no idea where in the world he could be at the moment and wherever he is he was most likely married to a beautiful lady and has little children calling him daddy. It's not like he even knew I existed, not in that way, to him I was just a face in the crowd of admirers, no different from everyone else he didn't even know my name for God's sake! How could he? I was the class nerd always having my nose buried in a book, no friends to talk of and a non-existent social life. But he on the other hand was the soul of the party, the teacher's star pupil and the most popular guy in the entire school…
'Stop looking so hopeless, will you?' Marie spoke into my ear startling me, I hadn't even noticed her move closer, 'relax we'll find a way' then in a much louder tone 'what do you say we have a race. Two laps across the pool, last one to make it buys us lunch tomorrow. Feel up to it?'
I smiled up at her, relived to be off the topic of my depressing love life.
OK, so getting drunk wasn't the best way to deal with a broken heart and it was most certainly not the best idea I have ever come up with. My head felt like it was going to explode into little pieces if I so much as lifted a finger. My stomach was churning and I knew I had to get to the bathroom now or I was going to make a mess.
It took all the energy I had to stagger off my bed and to the restroom, seconds later I was hurling up my stomach contents.
'Dinah! Are you okay?' a shrill voice cut through the air. Groaning I clapped my hands over my ears to shut out the painful sound. What on earth is Marie doing here? I wondered isn't a hangover punishment enough? I glared at her as she walked into the small room and knelt down beside me. Maybe if I glared hard enough she would disappear and l would be alone to think in peace. Unfortunately my wish wasn't granted, besides I couldn't even glare with my head pounding as painfully as it was. I must have been a pathetic sight.
'What happened…'she asked quietly brushing back stray strands of hair from my face '…The last time I had to drag you home in such a state was when Jasmine died'
'How did you find me?' I croaked.
'Allan called me'
I nodded, the slight motion increasing the intensity of my headache but it was nothing compared to the ache in my heart, I felt so… empty. Like I had had an amputation and was missing an important part of myself, is this what a broken heart feels like?
'Dinah?' I looked up at Marie tears blurring my vision
'I saw Andrew yesterday' I managed to say at last
'And?'
'And …he is getting married next week.' It hurt to say it.
It had hurt a lot worse to hear it yesterday. In fact it hurt so bad I still have no idea how I made it out of my office without breaking down. I didn't even cry when I got into the confines of my car, I just fired the engine and drove off in a daze with no destination in mind and that was how I found myself in front of Choice pub. The last time I was there was when I lost my best friend Jasmine to a car accident, this had been our favourite hang out in town, and we had come here every weekend and were on first name basis with Allan the bar tender. This time was no different, I even sat at the same table and ordered the same drink then proceeded to drink myself to a stupor like I had two years ago. Allan let me be but he must have called up Marie to pick me up when he realised I wasn't going to be in a position to go anywhere on my own. I suspect she also settled the bill since I don't remember paying anything.
'I am so sorry' Marie said finally, enclosing me in hug, that did it, whatever little control I had over the tears snapped and they cascaded down my cheeks
'Its okay,' I sobbed into her shoulder 'I'll be fine, I'll find someone else,' but those were just words because I knew deep down inside that there would never be someone else. The trio were right, I was hung up on Andrew and I had no idea just how bad until the moment he walked into my office yesterday.
Have ever been so flustered in someone's presence you forget your name? You can't remember what you were talking about and if you were picking up the pen or putting it down? Andrew always had that effect on me and yesterday was no different. He had changed but not too much, grown taller, stronger and a lot more confident but his eyes remained the same soft brown colour that fascinated me in first place, and when he spoke I noted another difference, his voice was deeper.
'Dinah! Good to see you!' he exclaimed pumping my hand up and down enthusiastically
'Good to see you too Andrew…' I had replied surprised at how calm I sounded. '…so what have you been up to for the last seven years?'
'Designing buildings and homes…I decided to follow my dream and become an architect.'
'Sounds exiting'
'You can bet it is, you don't seem to be doing too badly yourself…you own this store?' he asked gesturing at my office. Shortly after school I had done a course in business management, and then I set up my own jewellery store, which is where I worked. I told Andrew as much. That was when she had walked in. I really wish I could say that she was ugly and wicked and all that but to be honest she wasn't, she was petite, so small she barely reached his shoulder in height and her features could be describe in one word, delicate. She was dressed casually in blue jeans and a plain white blouse but on her petite frame it looked good. She was light skinned with a flawless heart shaped face and large clear baby like eyes that made her look precious and fragile.
'What do you think Andy…?' she had asked oblivious to the fact that it was my office she had barged into or that I was in the room. And why was she calling him Andy? Silently fuming it took me a while to notice the ring she was holding up for Andrew, '…will this do?'
'Daisy, this is Dinah, a friend of mine' he introduced me to her but Daisy was more interested in the jewel in her hand
'Dinah this is Daisy my fiancée'. And that was the precise moment my world fell apart.
I can't claim to remember what I said or did afterwards but I must have done nothing outrageous at least until Andrew and Daisy had left. That was when I had turned and run.
'Dinah! You are not getting out of this that easily.' Ashley shouted throwing one of the many clothes that clattered my room at me 'let me rephrase that, you are not getting out of this at all.'
'But I don't want to go' I whined
'You are going and you are going to like it!'
'But…' I began to protest
'No buts,' she cut me off. '…now get dressed I am giving you thirty minutes or I'll drag you dinner in pyjamas' and she could do it too.
Resigned to my fate I took the dress she had picked out for me and headed for the bathroom. It was the end of the year party at Ashley's law firm, she figured my pity party had lasted long enough and it was time for me to face the world again. Once her mind was made up there was no talking her out of it. Ten minutes later I was standing in front of my full length mirror surveying my overall appearance. The dress Ashley had picked was as usual a perfect choice.
It was a short but not to short so as to cause discomfort or be considered indecent, sleeveless, and white with pretty blue vines that intertwined into a pattern on the velvet fabric, with a plain white scarf to go with it. I took my time combing out my hair making sure all those unruly curls were in place and it fell in graceful waves over my bare shoulders. I put on the minimum makeup, slipped on my favourite pearl earrings and Then to complete the outfit I strapped on put on my rhinestones encrusted white stilettos then stood back to view the effect. It was good; in fact without being modest it was stunning. I may not have the kind of beauty that turns heads but tonight I wouldn't be surprised if I received more than my usual share of attention. There is something about dressing up for an occasion or just for fun that always uplifted my spirit and for the first time in the last three days I felt happy.
We arrived at the party late, mark you that was not my fault, it was Marie's, she was not ready when we stopped by her house to pick her and by the time she was we were late already. Once at the party however everyone went their own way leaving me to fend for myself. I was heading for the refreshment table when a familiar voice called my name sending me into panic. What in heavens name is Daisy doing here...just when I was actually thinking I would have a lovely evening she had to turn up here? Groaning inwardly I turned round and smiled at the approaching girl, I absolutely refuse to call her woman because she seemed too fragile and young to be one. Today unlike the last time I ran into her she was dressed in formal evening wear, a sleeveless red mini dress with a low back, it showed off her petite hour glass figure to perfection, her hair was piled up at the top of her pretty head with a few curls left out to frame her flawless heart shaped face, I may not like her much but I couldn't fault her fashion sense, in fact I couldn't find anything to fault her with, How could I? She was beautiful, the kind of beauty that turned heads and lit up the room. In fact I fancied I could see a halo hovering over her head if looked hard enough. Standing beside her I felt whatever self esteem I had bolstered up earlier in the evening slip away. Damn you Andrew, I ranted mentally did you have to pick a perfect angel for a wife?
'Hey Daisy hi, having fun?' I greeted her casually thankful that my tone did not reveal my jumbled up feelings
'It's a wonderful party' she replied equally casually 'so Dinah how have you been doing, Andy has told me so much about you…he says you two were really close back in high school'
Now that was news to me! Andrew and I were never close and was I imagining it or did she sound jealous?
'I hope he hasn't been saying bad things about me' I said lightly while glancing around for an opportunity to escape this conversation before I said something I might regret. 'Do you always call him Andy?' I bit my tongue but it was too late, the words had already slipped out, this is all Ashley's fault if she hadn't insisted on my attending this party I would not be in this situation.
'Yeah I always call him Andy,' Daisy smiled up at me 'I think it suits him, besides Andrew is too…formal don't you think?'
I nodded, but inwardly disagreed with her 'is he here?' I asked. If she said yes I was going to leave.
'No he had to leave…actually there was something I wanted to talk to you about can we go somewhere more private?'
I raised an eyebrow, a habit I had picked from Ashley; this wasn't how I expected my evening out to be. Now I was going to have to endure having her read me the riot act, something along the lines of keep away from Andrew he's mine and the like. Honestly someone tell me, when did my life turn into a Mexican soap opera? Shrugging I led the way outside to the parking lot. Once I was sure we were far enough from the party to discourage any eavesdroppers but still close enough so as not to appear suspicious, I stopped and turned to her.
'Andy loves you.' She said
For a minute I was convinced I was hearing things, she just didn't utter those three words did she?
'What!?'
'Not what you expected huh?' She chuckled. I can't believe she was laughing, how could she find this funny?
'But if he…why are you…what is going on?' I managed at last.
With I sigh she began to talk
'You want to know why he is marrying me yet I am saying he loves you and why I am telling you this anyway, right?' I nodded 'Andy isn't marrying me, I broke up the engagement.'
'Why?'
'That's for me to know and for you to find out. Good luck with that though and one more thing don't be a fool'
She was gone before I could ask what she meant. Angry I stormed back into the building I wanted to go home now but since Ashley had driven me here I needed to find her then force her to drive me home, I still insist this was all her fault. Ashley was nowhere in sight, neither was Marie, pulling out my cell phone, I flipped it open and dialled her number, she picked it on the third ring
'Ashley? Where are you? I need to go home now… what do you mean you already left? How am I going to get home?' she hung up on me.
I stared at my phone in disbelief; Ashley just hung up on me! What the hell is going on today? First Ashley and Marie drag me to this party then; my dear aunts abandon me with no means of getting home what else could go wrong? Right now, I was toying with the idea of throwing a full blown tantrum; complete with the screams and theatrics it for calls just to release the anger: or maybe I could just get drunk. That idea seemed to hold more merit, I could just drink myself unconscious again and Marie will be forced to come and help me home. It will serve her right for abandoning me, I fumed hopes she drags Ashley here, this is all her fault.
'Dinah, can I talk to you for a moment?'
I froze. That voice was unmistakable; I didn't have to turn to know Andrew was standing behind me. But Daisy said he had left… I whined internally even as my heart stopped for a moment then raced what is it with people lying to me today?
'Dinah…'
'NO!' I cut him short; I had had more than enough for one evening, I know what you are thinking, if you love the guy why are you running away?, this is your chance grab it. But think about it, his fiancé had broken of the engagement less than a week ago, the only reason he was seeking me out now was because he needed a shoulder to cry on and that is all, when his broken heart mends he will be gone again and then what will happen to me? Thanks but no thanks I'll walk away while I still can.
'Dinah please...'
It was the plea in his voice that made me turn, and all logic fled when I looked into his soft brown eyes. There was something new in them, something I have never seen before today. Fear. All the time I had known him I would never have thought Andrew to be afraid of anything, he was shy, I know but never scared or insecure. I waited to hear what he had to say but he didn't say anything, just stared at me as though I was an alien from another planet, why wouldn't he say speak?
'If you don't make a sound in the next five seconds I am leaving' I warned him
'I am sorry;' he said just as I began to turn away 'I am sorry I was such a fool'
I turned back. He was staring at his feet, unable to meet my gaze
'Sorry? For what?'
He sighed, and ran the fingers of his left hand through his hair, something he always did when he was at a loss, he looked up but he wouldn't look at me.
'I am sorry I didn't see what was right in front of me, I lied to my self pretending all the while that everything was fine'
'What are you talking about Andrew?'
Finally he met my gaze 'You, I love you Dinah, I always have'
My heart stopped beating, and then it started pounding so loud I wondered why no one else seemed to hear.
'No, you don't...' I replied quietly and he flinched as pain flashed across his face as though I had slapped him. '… You think you love me but you don't, less than a week ago you were engaged to be married and from what I heard today, she dumped you, you are broken hearted and I am not going to be your rebound fling.'
With that pretty speech and my heart in my mouth I turned to leave. I didn't take more than two steps before he grabbed my arm and jerked me back hard, the unexpected pull caused me to lose my balance and I careened into him, his knees buckled under the unexpected blow and I shrieked as we both tumbled to the floor. Conversation in the room grounded to a halt and everyone in the room turned in our direction.
Andrew took the brunt of the fall; he landed on his back with me on top of him his body cushioning my fall. His left hand was still closed around my arm while his right had instinctively encircled my waist holding me against him. My hands were trapped between us, with my fingers splayed against his chest. Oh My God! Embarrassment flooded through me, how did this happen! One minute I was walking away the next I am straddling a guy on the floor in front of a room full of people! I wanted to bury my face into his shoulder in mortification, better still I wanted to disappear. Someone shoot me dead please! Unfortunately Andrew didn't share my mortification, or didn't care.
'Is that what you think this is going to be a rebound fling?' he roared
I looked down at him shocked at the raw anger in his voice, he had no right in hell to be angry at me, I was the one supposed to be angry, he had broken my heart, he was the reason we were lying on the floor in front of a roomful of guests, And he had the guts to shout at me! Well I wasn't going to stand for it.
"What did you expect me to think?" I screamed back ' you ignore me for the four years we were in high school together, then you drop off the face of the earth for five years, you turn up one week ago with a fiancée who dumps you and then you say you always loved me? Pull the other one; I will not let you hurt me again'
'You don't even know why she dumped me?' he snapped
'Does it matter?' I snapped back
'Yes! Because you are the reason, what did you think I was apologising for before?'
I opened my mouth to retort but he letting go of my arm he placed a finger on my lips effectively shutting me up.
'You think I ignored you in high school..,' he continued in a lower tone a bitter nostalgic smile settled on his lips, his eyes never left mine 'you are wrong, I worshiped the ground you walked on but…how does one approach an angel? I was always watching you, hopping one day I would find the courage to tell you but every time I tried I couldn't get the words out. You know why? Because I was scared, scared that if I spoke you would not believe me, that like now you would think I was toying with your feelings and you would never grant me the time of day again, and I couldn't loose that. Yet I couldn't stop thinking or talking about you, that is why Daisy dumped me. I must have driven her up the wall with my constant jabbering on how you used to read novels 24/7 and how you chew the end of your pen when you write, and the many other little quirky habits of yours..'
Tears were already filling my eyes blurring my vision, my heart felt like it was caught in a vice, and my voice was trapped in my throat, I couldn't have spoken even if he had let me. How misguided could he have been? No he wasn't misguided, I had just proved him right, just a few minutes ago I was going to walk away and never see him again because I was convinced he didn't care.
'You have no idea how it felt to see you again when I walked into your store a week ago…' he went on, needing to say it all now that he had started '… it was like the breath was knocked out of me, you have grown so beautiful you left me dazzled. But you didn't seem affected. Even when I introduced you to Daisy you just smiled and congratulated me; you never saw my heart breaking at the fact that you were not even jealous, you acted like your older brother had just told you he was getting married…'
I couldn't help it, I laughed. Is that what he had thought? All the while my world had been crumbling into little pieces and he thought I was happy? At my sudden mirth he stopped talking and raised both eye brows in question
'What?' He asked
' you are right,' I chocked 'you are a fool, I drunk myself silly after you left thinking it would take the away the pain of loosing you, if I acted like your little sister when you were around it is because you treated me like one!'
'I know, and I am sorry, that is why I wasn't going to let you walk away without letting you know. And now that you know it's up to you to decide, I wouldn't stop you if you want to leave-'
I kissed him, just a quick brush of my lips against his so fleeting it could hardly be called a kiss but it achieved my aim, it shut him up.
'I am not leaving' I said and watched as wide smile spread across his face lighting up his eyes
'Good' was all he said before pulling me back down and capturing my lips in more passionate kiss.
The eruption of cheers and catcalls around us, suddenly reminded me we were not alone. Mortified I broke away and buried my face in his chest. Andrew just laughed and held me closer for a moment before helping us to our feet. I helped him dust off his clothes as people walked up to shake our hands and wish us joy, you would have we had just gotten married. It almost felt like it.
Suddenly I was enveloped in a hug and heard a familiar voice laugh in my ear,
'I told you we'll find a way'
Marie! I stepped 'I thought you had left already!'
'What? And miss the grand conclusion to our master plan? Hell No!' Ashley shouted stepping out from behind Marie, I laughed and hugged her Maybe cupid hadn't given up on me after all, definitely not with the matchmaking trio working for him.
The end
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