Cecilia squinted one eye at her. "What's your New Year's resolution?"

"It's kind of a joke," Blair said. "I'm going to be more girly… Look better, I mean. Stop wearing T-shirts, you know? Things like that." She started playing with her fingers. "I don't know. I thought I might try makeup for once. I'm not sure where to start."

"Oh," Cecilia said, her face brightening, "really? I can help you with that."

"Would you?" She disentangled her hands and slipped them into her pockets. Cecilia always had a perfect face.

"Sure," she said. "It's a good place to start if you want to improve your look. We'll even out your skin tone with some foundation first. You might need some concealer for those bags under your eyes, though," she said delicately.

"What bags?" Blair raised a hand up and felt at her face. Her friend put her arms akimbo.

"You're going to need to change everything," Cecilia said. "No more late night movies, it's bad for your complexion. You'll have to use moisturizer every morning to give you a kick-start. And no offense, but those eyebrows need a lot of work."

She lowered her hand, closing it in a loose fist. "You don't mean waxing, do you?"

"No," Cecilia said, "not for your face, anyway. Some tweezing, yes. The rest can be done with a pencil." Blair wondered over what a pencil would do while her friend continued the evaluation. "Then there's your eyes. I've always thought you'd look prettier with some eyeliner, a little eyeshadow, nothing too extreme. And we can bring out your cheeks with some blush, you've got good bone structure, it's time to let it show a little. I think some lip gloss would look great on you, too."

"This is all sounding a little complicated," Blair said slowly.

"Oh, it's nothing, really," Cecilia said, waving a hand. "It all takes ten minutes, fifteen tops. It'll go faster the more you do it. I'll help you the first couple times. You'll look gorgeous." Blair nodded while looking elsewhere. Cecilia put a hand on her shoulder. "Now, about waxing? That might be appropriate for your legs. Do you want to visit my house this weekend?"

"You don't need makeup."

"No?" Blair smiled and promptly cleared her throat, disrupting her audible relief. "That's good. I was talking to Cecilia about it, and there was all this stuff I would need to buy, and this whole operation putting it on."

Harriet shook her head and wrinkled her nose. "What a waste of time. You don't need to wear a face on top of the one you already have. It isn't enough to have Barbie's makeup to be womanly."

"That's good," Blair said.

"Your problem is more in what you wear. I haven't seen you in a skirt once, Blair, and how long have I known you? What you need is a new wardrobe."

"Well, I was thinking about getting some new shirts," Blair said.

"That's good," Harriet said, nodding, "but you're going to need a lot more than that. When's the last time you got a new bra?"

Blair's face reddened a tinge. "Not too recently… Why?"

"Your underwear is your foundation," Harriet said, "not some powder on your face. When you get underwear that fits you, your clothes are going to look better on you. Then you get some better clothes. And Honey, you need some better clothes."

"I know that," Blair said. "I can never find anything I like, though."

"It isn't about what you like," Harriet said, "it's about what looks good. You learn to like it. Trust me, when boys start looking at you, you'll like it a lot sooner."

"I don't really want people staring at me," Blair mumbled. Harriet glared at her.

"Isn't that the whole point? You want to be more womanly, don't you? If you want to know that it's working, just look around. If someone's looking back, then you're doing it right. Now, what are you going to do?" Blair looked at her and held her stare for a few long seconds.

"Get a new bra?"

"Yes," Harriet said, "then what?"

"I don't know. I guess I'll look around Macy's or something."

"That's okay, but you should know what to look for when you get there."

"All right," Blair said. Harriet was still staring intently at her. "What am I looking for, exactly?"

"Well," Harriet said, "with your body type, you're going to want things that are fitted. No more oversized T-shirts. Blouses, Blair, with buttons? You know, those things you open and close?"

"I know what they are," Blair said.

"Find pants that actually fit you," Harriet said. "I mean really fit you, show you have a shape. I think low-rise would suit you. And don't forget about shoes."

"What wrong with the shoes I have?" Blair asked. Harriet looked down at them, then back up at her, a suffering look on her face.

"Shoes can make or break an outfit. Those things belong in the trash with the rest of your 'wardrobe.' You'll need to start from scratch."

"Is this going to be expensive?" Blair asked.

"Well of course it is," Harriet said. "You aren't buying a ten-pack of undershirts, you're buying real clothes! It's worth the money, though. You're going to look a lot better. It'll make you feel better too, to actually look like a girl for a change."

"I'm already a girl," Blair said, "isn't that enough?"

"Not if people can't tell by looking at you."

"Is it that bad?"

"Not really," Harriet allowed, "but you can look so much better, Blair."

"I guess I could buy a few new things," Blair said. Harriet smiled, showing all her teeth.

"That's the spirit! Start small if you have to. I'm always around to give you advice. Why don't we go shopping together some time? I'll help you buy your first dress."

Lexi sipped quietly on her drink as she listened to Blair. She nodded a few times, made a sour face around her straw at others, but was generally neutral. When Blair was done she put her cup down and picked up her napkin.

"They're not totally off," Lexi decided, "but there's no need to go to such extremes. You're already womanly, Blair. You are a girl, after all."

"That's what I said," Blair exclaimed, then picked up her own drink and took a long draw on the straw.

"It doesn't hurt to take better care of your skin, and you could use some new clothes. There's more to it than playing dress-up, though. It wouldn't make you feel like a woman, would it?"

"I guess not," Blair said. She paused. "Honestly it just sounds like a lot of expenses. They say I'll feel better, but it's such a lot of work."

"Being a woman is a lot of work," Lexi said. "There's no getting around that. It doesn't have to cost you an arm and a leg, but it's going to take a lot of your time. It's a part of life."

"Then why hasn't it been part of mine, up to now?"

"You're already womanly, but that doesn't mean there isn't room for improvement. Otherwise, why would you have made it your New Years resolution?"

Blair opened her mouth but closed it shortly. She put her cup down and flicked at the straw. "I guess I don't feel like I am. I didn't think it would be this hard, though."

"Welcome to the pack," Lexi said. "You aren't alone in it. Cecilia and Harriet are willing to help you, and so am I. Yeah, it's kind of strange for a resolution, but we're all happy to see you wanting to change. You just need to stick to it, and you'll be all right."

"What do you think I should do?" Blair asked. Lexi thought about it for a moment. She ripped her napkin in half and put it down deliberately on the table.

"I think you should get in shape. It takes a lot of dedication, but that would really make you feel better, not just because of how you would look. You have a shape already, it just needs a little more help coming out."

"Wouldn't I be buying clothes that fit me all the time, then?" Blair asked.

"Not as often as you would think," Lexi said. "You aren't going to change sizes overnight. It will help you to wear things that fit properly so that you can see the progress. I think you'll be surprised by how much better you feel when you see how you really look."

"And getting in shape," Blair said, "that's going to take a lot of time, isn't it?"

"Yes," Lexi admitted, "but it doesn't have to cost you a whole lot. You can come jogging with me, and we can swim together. But there's another thing you might not like about it."

"Oh, really?" Blair asked. She took a moment to make her tone casual again. "What would that be?"

"You'll need to eat better," Lexi said. "I love junk food just as much as you do, but you can't eat it for every meal. You'll get in shape a lot quicker if you eat some salad once in a while."

"Healthy food costs more, doesn't it?"

"It can," Lexi said, "but it's worth it in the long run. Not just for your looks, but for your health. You'll look better a lot longer if you have a healthy lifestyle, and you'll feel better for that time too."

"All right. But where do I start in all of this?"

"Just start small," Lexi said. "You have a whole year to make this resolution work. We'll ease you into the exercise routine. As for your diet… I think you might want to talk to a nutritionist. They'll be able to help you figure out where you should start there. But trust me, it's worth it as long as you stick to it. I know you can do it."

Blair was in her room when her mother passed by in the hall. She doubled back to look in more closely. The floor was hidden under a netting of clothing. There were two hints at piles on opposite sides of the room. Leaning in she could see Blair pushing things around inside her closet.

"Spring cleaning so soon?" she asked. "Isn't it a little early?"

Blair backed out from the closet with several articles of clothing over one arm. She looked at her mother from where she stood with wide eyes.

"Am I interrupting?" she asked. Blair shook her head.

"No, mom, I'm just-" Her wandering eyes took her around the mess on the floor. "I'll clean this up soon. I'm just figuring out what to throw away."

"Oh? Well, I admire your initiative. You don't have to throw everything out, though. We can give things away that don't fit anymore if they don't have holes in them."

"Yeah," Blair said, and started to laugh, "but I wouldn't want to make anybody wear these things. They're so ugly..."

Her mother made a soft sound and entered the room. She reached out and plucked at one of the things in Blair's arms. "I don't think they're ugly. This one is very nice. It's a shame you never wore it much."

"I might wear it now," Blair said.

"That might be hard," her mother said, checking its label. "We got this for you when you were in middle school." She let go of it and looked at her daughter. Blair was looking at the piece of clothing. She eventually nodded and took it off her arm.

"Yeah, that's true," she said before dropping it on the floor. "Well, it's a good thing I'm getting rid of it then. I need to make space for new things."

"Really? You're going to go shopping?"

"Yeah, I've got a lot of things to do, it seems," Blair said lightly. She raised her eyes to her mother's level. The woman had a searching look in her face.

"That sounds exciting," she said. "What caused all this action?"

"Just a New Year's resolution," Blair said. "I want to try to be more womanly. You know me, you could never get me in a dress when I was younger." She laughed a little to bait her mother but didn't get a similar response.

"So you're throwing everything you own away?" she asked.

"It has to be done," Blair said, squaring her shoulders a bit. "The only way to start over is to get rid of all the old things. That's what Stacy London does."

"Who?"

"Stacy. She's on this TV show." Her mother was starting to furrow her brow. "Anyway, it's all part of the resolution. I'm getting new clothes, and I'm going to start working out, eating better, all of that..."

"It sounds like a big change," she commented.

"Yeah," Blair said, almost sighing. She looked around the floor and crouched down, starting to pull things into neater piles. "It's going to be a lot of work."

Her mother watched her pick things up around the room. "Blair, what's the reason for all of this?"

"I told you already," she said, still pulling things together, "it's my New Year's resolution."

"Yes, but why did you choose this? Why now?"

Blair worried at a sleeve before getting to her feet. She brushed herself off. "It's just time for change. I thought you would be excited to hear about it. You'd like to see your daughter looking a little more feminine, wouldn't you?"

"I would," her mother said, "if it would make you happy. Is this really what you want?"

Blair smiled. "Well, it has to happen sometime, doesn't it? It might as well be now. I'm kind of tired of looking shapeless."

"You aren't shapeless," her mother said. "You have a fine shape under your clothes."

"Yeah, but you can't really see it, you know? I need to make it more visible. And maybe- maybe a little lip gloss, or something like that. I'm just going to pretty up a little bit."

"I think you look pretty now, Blair, but if that interests you, you should try it out and see if you really like it."

She started putting her hands on her hips but lowered them back down and held her mother's eyes. "Why aren't you more excited? Haven't you said I should dress better?"

"I'd like that," she said, "but you don't have to throw everything away. Are you excited?"

"Yes," Blair said. She started playing with her fingers. "I mean, it's going to be a lot of work, but it's for the best. It's going to take some time."

"You don't feel womanly?" her mother asked.

"Not really," Blair said. She started to glance around the room. "I don't think I really look the part, no."

"Then do you feel the part?" she asked.

Blair pulled her hands apart. "What's the difference?" she asked flippantly.

"They can be the same sometimes," her mother said, "but it's more important to feel it than to look it. Do you want to wear makeup?"

"You wear makeup," Blair said.

"That's true," she said. "Old habits die hard, I guess. But I don't need it to feel like a woman."

"What do you need?" Blair asked. Her mother looked at her and smiled.

"I look at you, dear, and I feel like a wonderful woman. One day, when you have children..."

Blair sighed under her breath, steeling herself for another talk, but her mother left it at that and cupped her face, taking her attention back.

"It's how you feel inside that matters, Blair. You are a woman. If you want to dress up and work out then I'm happy for you. If you decide you don't want to after all, it's okay."

"I know I'm a woman," Blair said. She raised a hand and clasped her mother's wrist. "It's just sometimes- sometimes I wish I looked like one."

"You look like one to me," her mother said. She pulled her hand back from Blair. "It's more than what people see, it's what you do. I think you're a lovely girl."

"So by your standards, I'm already womanly enough," Blair said. Her mother shrugged.

"You could look at it that way if you want." The conversation lulled. Blair had averted her eyes and was frowning at something in her mind. "What are you thinking about?"

"Well," Blair said, "I was just thinking this is either the easiest or the hardest resolution I ever made."

"That," her mother said, "is part of being a woman."