I feel like it's all finally breaking,

I feel like it's all finally breaking,
And I have no control,
Yet it's all on me,
I don't know where to go.

I love the way I loved you,
I love the way you care,
I love the way you hold me,
And when you stroke my hair.

Everything has an ending,
But I don't want this to be one,
This is like our hugs,
That I cannot let go of.

It's like a rug or closet,
Which holds in dirty secrets,
Secrets I can't keep,
I'm too honest and meek.

"Good-bye may seem forever,
Farewell is like like the end,
But in my hearts a memory,
And there you'll always be."

I don't want this to end,
But I don't know where to go,
Our love is like a fork in the road,
And I don't know which way to go.

Right takes me to you,
Back inside your heart,
Back to all our memories,
I want to keep them all in tact.

Left will take me away,
To a place I'm not and am unfamiliar,
With new people, old emotions,
But I don't want to hurt you, either.

And now, I can't stop crying,
I just feel so confused,
Everything's so blurry,
I wish I could see you.

But all at the same time,
I wish to be far away,
Where no one on earth could see me,
But I want to touch your face.

I'll always be the bad guy,
I'll never make you happy,
I'll constantly leave you insecure,
I want someone to slap me.

All I want from you,
Is a smile upon your face,
I don't really know if I can make it be there anymore,
While I'm in my current state.

Before this calamity,
The last time that I cried,
Was when I was away from you,
Locked up for suicide.

And that's exactly what this is,
A "suicide" of sorts,
I'm killing myself so quickly,
I'm stumbling over words.

I don't want to cause pain,
To anyone I know,
But I realize in the end,
Someone's going to go.

And now I feel so sick,
Deep, deep down inside,
I want to slice away,
These teardrops in my eyes.

I want to make you happy,
Like we used to be,
But right now I just can't,
Not in the same way.

I know the reason is,
Because of how I'm feeling,
But baby, I can't help it,
I need anything to help me.

I cannot promise much,
Hardly anything,
I'll say it once again,
To hurt you would be killing.

"Good-bye may seem forever,
Farewell is like the end,
But in my hearts a memory,
And there, you'll always be."

If there is a God,
Please, just help me through this,
I want those memories,
To come back and to flourish.

This is not good-bye,
It's simply how I'm feeling,
Which is only so confused,
That I cannot do my biddings.

I love you, as I did,
Simply not the same,
Everything's so wrong,
And only I'm to blame.

Yes, in my heart are memories,
And there, you will always be,
That I can promise you.

I'll always feel the love,
That I once had for you,
But once again, in memories,
I want it to come back so soon.

I don't want to hurt you,
I want all the love to return,
I want you to smile,
And I want to only learn to fix this problem.

:

The quoted text is from The Fox and the Hound, I do not own those parts of the poem