Jada left me alone after what felt like the longest two hours of my life… that's right I said two hours. Jada made me go through every single detail until she felt fully satisfied and that she had gotten the whole story. She did have an interesting question though, she asked me if I felt any "sparks" when Alex was touching me. (Jada has had a tiny little crush on Alex ever since she met him at a party), I lied for the first time during the whole story and told her no.
Maybe I was being truthful though. I still had a lot of leftover feelings for Mack. How could I not? I loved him…I still love him, but it was to late for him to love me. All the months of neglect and other girls had taken its toll and as much as it hurt to say goodbye… it was finally the end.
Even though I knew things were over with Mack, I had no interest in hooking up with Alex. For one, I didn't think he was truly into me. Alex seemed to be a nice guy and I was almost one hundred percent positive that his hug had been platonic. Secondly, him and Mack were good friends. What would that do to their band? The third reason was simply Mack himself. I felt as if I did go through with it and chase Alex that it would only seem like I was using him as a re-bound guy and as material to make Mack jealous. It was true though. I would've loved nothing more than to kiss any other guy right in front of Mack just to make him jealous.
Now that I was alone without Jada and now that it was completely dark outside I felt more at ease and with my thoughts. The emptiness Mack left still hurt a lot and I wanted to crawl back to him more than anything. I kept checking my phone, re-reading the texts Mack sent, listening to his voice-mail. I even put the phone on high just in case he tried to call or text again. He didn't…surprise…Mack had given up after only one day. Shows how much he cared.
When I went through the texts and voice-mail I noticed a pattern. At first Mack would be sad.
"Gina! You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I love you so much. I wish you were here so I could hold you in my arms and tell you that and have you believe me. Come back babe."
The second stage was denial.
"Babe…why are you doing this? I thought you loved me. You love me right? I mean, its fucked up if you're just willing to give up on me just like that." I scoffed at this message. Did Mack honestly think that the only reason why I was leaving him was because of the other nights fight? No! It was because of the continuous pattern of those fights and until now was I strong enough to break free of the repetition.
The third stage, and what I believed to be Mack's most natural state was anger. These were the most dominant in my messages.
"Gina! What the fuck? What the fuck gives you the fucking right to not talk to me? You're just a slut and you're probably happy that me and you are through so you can go hit on other guys. I fucking knew it. You didn't care for me. You're just a bitch. I'm glad we're done…slut!" The message didn't always end in slut…sometimes it was bitch, whore, cunt…well you get the gist.
The final and ending stage was remorse. I had a hard time believing these messages. They seemed forced. The last message I got said this.
"Babe…I love you and I'm sorry for fighting and breaking your heart. Please call back when you get the chance. I'm sorry for what I said before. I didn't mean it, I was just stressing out because I don't know how to reach you." There's a pause after he says this and I can hear his familiar shrill doorbell ringing. At this point I can tell that Mack puts down the phone and goes to answer the door. There's a bigger pause and I can hear two indistinct voices in the background. One Mack's and the other to what I believe is a female. The phone shuffles and I hear Mack in a more hurried tone. "Gina…sorry. Call me later. Love you bye." before he goes to hang out I hear the female laugh and Mack starts to talk to her before the phone clicks.
I ended up turning off my phone and forcing myself to sleep at around two in the morning. I was dog tired and I hadn't slept well the other night. I kept thinking of Mack though and I was wondering who the other girl was. After I had let my mind wander I found myself thinking of Alex. A somewhat dangerous path to cross but it was to late to turn back.
At first I just generally thought of Alex. Then I started to think about earlier today, about how his arms had felt when they were around my waist. Then I started drifting into the untouchable zone. The fantasies…I imagined how Alex's lips would feel on mine. How he would hold me if we were to cuddle in my bed, how he would smell….bad things like that. When I went to bed, I dreamt of him. Nothing r-rated, just something cute. Made me smile. I barely even remember what its about now.
When I woke up the next morning I felt a lot better. Of course this didn't mean that I still wasn't hurt. The moment I opened my eyes I instantly glanced at my cell phone. I stared at it for a long while and then hurriedly flipped it open. One missed call and three new messages!
My heart raced and I had to remind myself to calm down. It might not even be Mack…oh but how bad I wished it were. I checked my one missed call. Jada…great. She called at 7:53 a.m. I have no idea why she woke up so early or why she had he urge to call me since I'm her roommate and all.
The next thing I checked were my two missed texts. One from Jada…go figure.
"Mack came over. Said you weren't home. Going back 2 bed." I glared at the message. Why would Mack come over that early? Unless of course he hadn't gone to bed yet. He was probably drunk from partying the night before and he had probably come over either hung-over or still drunk wanting to explain himself. Mack was also very annoying when you mixed him with alcohol. He was obnoxiously loud, very touchy, and sometimes when he was completely hammered (when he drank vodka) he drooled. Soooo attractive…not.
I deleted he text and opened up the next one. Unknown number, but it looked familiar.
"I kno ur still upset. People r coming over for party 2nite. U can come if u'd like." This text was sent a little before I had woken up. This text was sent at 12:37 p.m. Shit…what time was it now?
I looked a my phone and I was almost two. I hated oversleeping like this. My whole day felt wasted. Thankfully I didn't have to work until Monday and it was only Saturday now. Maybe a party would be a good thing. I'll go socialize and have fun without worrying about having to baby-sit my semi-incompetent boyfriend this time around. Plus there's that other advantage of not having to get jealous because other girls are touching him. I texted back
"Who is this?"
I'm not going to accept going to some rapists party. Who knows who has my number? What if I agreed to go to some guy's over the hill party? So gross. Seniors are no my thing.
I slinked myself out of bed and noticed that the house was quiet. Jada must be gone again. Just in case she wasn't I knocked on her door. I heard something that resembled a bear growl escape from her bedroom and I figured she must be still trying to sleep. I felt better knowing that now I wasn't the only one who overslept. As I was walking towards the shower the phone vibrated again. I checked the message. It said Alex.
Well i certainly uploaded that quickly! Not. Oh my gosh you wouldn't believe some of the things that've happend to me since I stopped writing this. But now I have free time yet again. Which means free time to write. Next chapter I already know what I want to happen and I've known that since the chapter before this was written so it won't be as long. I mean what it was like...9 months wasn't it?