8The Thirteen Murders of Wolfblood Houndthing High
Chapter 1: The First Chapter!
The kids at Wolfblood Houndthing High were just going about their ordinary business in the middle of December and were being totally normal and boring teenagers when, suddenly, WITHOUT WARNING, a blood-red limousine pulled up in the parking lot!
A sudden hush seized the student population like a cat intent on a morsel of tuna, and the world grew absolutely still, except for the occasional cough and sneeze, as the limousine's spiky wheels crunched on the driveway.
The engine ground to a halt. The door snapped open, and with a brilliant flash of light, a girl somersaulted head-first out into the scalding sunlight! She flew up into the air, her golden shimmering locks tossing this way and that like a seasick sailor, and then she landed feet-first right on the head of Bob the Bully, of whom everyone had been afraid!
The entire student population burst into applause as this new girl proved her prowess by so quickly taking out the school bully… that is, everyone except for Damien. Damien simply sneered, tossed back his beautiful silky shiny black hair, adjusted his sunglasses, grabbed his crotch, and moonwalked his way to class.
Selina Marina (for this was the new girl's name) narrowed her emerald eyes with an emotion not unlike a spicy sort of mustard. How dare this upstart young (and admittedly quite mysteriously dark and dashing) gentleman ignore her charms! She resolved right there and then that he must be punished.
"That stupid girl thinks she's so smart!" roared Damien to his friend Alistair, who was picking his teeth with a crowbar.
"Well," crooned Alistair as he put away the crowbar and began filing his nails into points with a metal file, "if she bothers you this much, you should bonk her on the head and then drink her blood."
"No!" grunted Damien. "I swore to stop drinking blood ever since Eve-Marie!"
"She turned you vegan?"
"No…" Damien scrunched his forehead in thought and struggled not to let his tears spill out onto his Converses. "Eve-Marie was special!"
"Well, I just meant, you know…"
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE, LIVING MY SORT OF LIFE!"
"That's true," said Alistair. "I don't. I've never owned a pair of Converses in my life."
At that moment, Selina Marina walked by, her sun-colored hair flipping itself quite perversely in Damien's direction.
"ARG!" screamed Damien, and he jumped out of the two-story window, to land in a jungle cat's crouch on the cement below. He broke into a run faster than a cheetah on fire and quickly vanished into the distance.
"Wow!" said Selina Marina, impressed against her will by this strange and beautiful stranger. "Is he on the track team?"
"Nope," said Alistair. "He got kicked off for refusing to run without his sunglasses."
"Why did they want him to take off his sunglasses in the first place?" asked Selina Marina in a puzzled tone of voice. "That doesn't make much sense."
"Shut up," growled Alistair. "Your voice makes my head ache." He shoved his hands into his pockets and swaggered away.
"Oh my," said Selina Marina to herself as she watched Alistair's swaggering buttocks retreating into the distance. "I see that I've got my job cut out for me. Thank goodness the Goddess put her trust in someone as capable as I am. I shall not fail her!"
Just then, the bell rang. Selinda Marina shrugged on her backpack and headed for her first class of the day: Vivisection 101!
COMING SOON: Chapter 2, The Demonic Secrets of Vivisection 101!