4Winter's frosted breath scolds my face as I open the patio door. Wild screams from the out-of-control house party battled the beautiful silence of the solitary cliff the home rested on. I close the door behind me and I am once again greeted by the silence that brought me out to the elegant patio in the first place. 'I can't get here tonight. I work till four and then I am going straight home. Maybe you should have listened to me and not gone to that damn party in the first place.' My sister's words stung more the fifteenth time my mind replayed them. I know she was right, yet I needed a distraction from my life. But, so it seems, I was definitely stuck here. I couldn't very well ask my parents to come pick me up. How can I tell them I'm at a house party with tons of alcohol and whatever else they were doing in there? Would they believe me when I told them I had remained sober? The obvious answer is no, no parent would. So I would just have to tough it out with a bunch of stoned idiots until morning. Maybe then my good-for-nothing sister would pick me up.
As I started my trek for the bench on the far end of the over-hanging patio, the wind continued to gnaw on my bare skin like a teething baby. I definitely wasn't dressed for the winter temperatures, but Damon and whatever jackass he picked up tonight had already taken the upstairs bedroom. So tonight I get to practice the art of being a hobo. I shall make this bench my bed. Now if only I had a newspaper and my clothes were so nice. Then I would be set.
I sat on the frigid bench, slowly worked my way to lying down. Using my hands as pillows I stared up at the night sky, and counted stars until I drifted into slumber.
I put my shirt on as I walked out of the room. As I exited the room my hands searched for the knob on the door. "Damon wait…" I heard him say. I simply responded with a "No" as I had with so many other guys. I slammed the door in his face, and began to question why this didn't make me feel bad. Shouldn't that make me feel bad? Slamming the door in the face of the poor coked out boy I seduced. But it didn't make me feel bad. It gave me a false sense of power, denying him of what he wanted so desperately.
I marched confidently down the hall, and I faintly heard his pitiful voice calling me name. "Damon, Damon, PLEASE!" blah blah blah. I didn't even realize I was downstairs until the blaring music began to slap me across the face. Jesus, did these drunken cokeheads really need the music this loud?
Where could I go to get out of this Hell? Maybe when Johnny's sister got off work tonight she could pick us up. But by no means could I rely on Johnny; I had to find a quick way out for right now. The thought of returning upstairs made me want to empty the contents of my stomach. Oh wait, that is all the alcohol. So let's examine our options. Upstairs – no, Front lawn – no, here – definitely not. Then the back patio snapped into my head. That beautiful patio overlooking the valley below – yes. There I was sure to find some peace and quiet. Even if the rickety wood death trap scared the shit out of me.
The door slid opened and I jumped up. Great, some retard decided to wander out here and disrupt my peaceful resting area. I looked towards the door, and decided who was there was even worse. "Oh. I didn't know you were out here. Sorry." Damon muttered, standing in place outside the patio door. Even though he apologized for interrupting my sleep he proceeded to walk towards the bench, as if it wasn't clear I didn't want to be near him. As if I was supposed to move so he could sit down. Fuck that. No – fuck him.
"Ok. Thanks for the apology. You can leave whenever you want to…" I said, annoyance apparent in my voice. "I'm really no in the mood to argue tonight John. Just move your legs so my ass can sit down." He sighed, as if it bothered him to talk to me. Like I had been the one to cause this tension. This…this hatred. "No. I'm not in the mood to baby-sit tonight. Sorry." I stated, keeping my legs in place. "I never asked for a fucking baby-sitter. I just asked you to move your thunder-thighs so I could sit my ass down before I fall over the balcony." I screamed, shocking me into silence. Damn it, I had planned a nice little retort in my head too. I sat and thought for a second. Maybe him falling to his death would be a great way to start off my night. No – our breakup wasn't that cold. Ok, maybe it was. Cold. Frigid. Arctic. Shut up, don't judge me.
"I know you hate me, but I also know you don't want to see someone this beautiful die such a horrible death." He stated with more confidence than necessary. His pride always did disgust me a little bit. So I guess that's why I was shocked when that made me move my legs. I mean sure, he was gorgeous, I would give him that much. But regardless of why I moved my legs, I had. "You can put your feet back now if you want to." He breathed coolly. And yet again I found myself declaring mutiny against what my body was doing. For some reason, my body took him up on his offer. Now we were sitting on the bench together. Actually, I lay on the bench with him under me.
"You can't even say this doesn't remind you of the old days. That it doesn't give you that little spark of happiness to be so kind and comfortable with me again." He said confidently, though I could practically see the hope oozing from every pore of his body. That did it. I finally took back control of my limbs, beginning to pick my feet off him. How dare he mistake me being civil as me coming on to him. "Don't even think about it. You did nothing wrong and I said nothing wrong. If you don't want to admit we were amazing together, that's fine…" he sighed, looking away from me to stare out at the valley in front of us.
"Don't you dare even talk to me about us! Don't you even dare!" I yelled at him, sitting up and resting my back against the wood paneling of the house. "Why can't we just talk about it? We never even talked. You just…ended it." I said, looking back at me with teary eyes. "You want to talk about it? Ok – let's talk. Let's get the facts. I ended things exactly one month ago today. Hence the reason why I am at this god-for-saken party in the first place, to try to get my mind off of the fact that the absolute best boyfriend I have ever had and me are no longer together." I replied back to him, as coolly as possible. "Why? Why did you end it with me? You never gave me a reason, you just ended it." He said, one tear escaping each eye.
"I know you're not stupid. But obviously you think I am. You don't think I found out about Justin; and Derrick; and Jonathan; and Daniel. I don't think I need to go on. We both know there were plenty more." I said, somehow remaining calm through naming his indiscretions. Shock splattered across his face as I listed them. "How did you find out? Who told you?" he asked dumbfounded. "Does it matter? You cheated. Multiple times. Countless times. THAT is what matters." I said, losing my cool faster and faster by the second. "They meant nothing Johnny. Absolutely nothing. You are what mattered." He sobbed, tears falling openly from his eyes now.
"No Damon, I obviously didn't matter. Otherwise you wouldn't have treated me the way you…" I started. That was obviously too much for him to handle. As I tried to tell him that I feel like I meant nothing to him, he unloaded the contents of his stomach all over the floor in front of the bench. I used my hands like a scrunchy and pulled back the gorgeous auburn hair I remember twirling through my fingers so fondly. "You ok?" I asked his quietly once was finished. "At least I didn't throw up on you." He said, obviously attempting a joke. Strangely, it made me chuckle. Then I thought about it. "Unlike at Dawson's house party three years ago." I laughed. He smiled fondly, most likely remembering the incident.
"That was the day we met. Do you remember it?" he asked, curiosity flashing across his eyes. "Of course I remember it. You puked all over me. I had to walk around the party shirtless the rest of the night. And it led to the best three years of my life." I said, grinning at him happily. God this is so…natural. "Maybe I should puke on you again. I miss seeing you shirtless. And maybe it could lead to another perfect couple of years." He grinned, sitting back against the house next to me as I stroked his hair. "They really were perfect weren't they?" I sighed, listening to him purr against my touch. He looked over at me and we smiled at each other. This boy really was perfect. If he could just keep his dick in his pants. "Until it ended." He said sadly. "Yea. Until it ended." I replied, nodding in agreement.
"I had a hard fall. You don't go from being the happiest person on the face of the planet to alone unscathed." He stated as he lifted up his sleeves. The arms I had once kissed and played with were now tainted with scars of razors past. My fingers traced the still blood red scars as a lone tear ran down my cheek. Damon let out a whimper as I suddenly began kissing his scars tenderly. I couldn't believe I had caused these scars. "I really miss you. I haven't been surviving very well without you." He sighed as I lifted my head from his arm to look him in the eye.
The wind blew again and the suspended patio seemed to sway. There is no way that it is supposed to do that. According to Jacob, the patio had been there long before his family moved in. It had never shown any sign of weakening though. "Ugh. This swaying is making me sick. We need to get off here. This can't be safe." He whispered, clutching his stomach and beginning to stand up. His feet touched the floor and the soles of his shoes splashed into what were previously the contents of his stomach. He slid forwards for a foot or so before he slipped backwards and landed with a THUD on the unsteady floor. The swaying stopped and there was an ear-shattering snap from at least one of the support beams. Along with the snap came a heart-stopping drop of no more than a few feet as the unstable patio put all of its weight on the remaining few support beams.
"DAMON! Damon, don't move." I shrieked, wrapping my mind around what was happening. Was the patio seriously collapsing?! Think! What do I do? Start with instructing Damon so he causes no more damage. "Now Damon, when I tell you too, stand up and move very slowly towards the patio door ok?" I said questionably. "Yea. Ok. I think I can do that." He said frightened. "But right now, I need you to scream. Scream as loud as you can. Try to get someone's attention from the party." I told him authoritatively. "I can definitely get their attention." He said as he whipped his phone out of his pocket and chucked it through the patio door.
Shocked high pitched screams and extremely loud Benni Benassi blasted through my ears. The music shut off, and Jacob was at the door in seconds. "What the FUCK!" Jacob screamed, staring at us incredulously. "Don't come out here! Some support beams broke. I don't know how many. But can you call 911 or something. If either of us moves, this whole thing is going down." I said, calmer than I would have thought myself possible. Damon was standing nearly at the door. All he had to do was jump. "Damon! Damon, sweetie, pay attention. I need you to jump. You are only a few feet from the house, and if anything happens you need to be there, not on here." I said quickly. I can't lose him now. Not after things are finally getting better.
"But, I can't leave you out here!" he shrieked. "You being out here isn't helping me one bit. You being safe helps me so much more. Trust me." I said to him, begging him with every fiber of my being to listen to me. He stared at me, tears pouring down his cheeks. "Why now? Why is this happening to me? Why can't everything be…" I began, but I cut him off. I had to make him focus. Neither of us would make it out alive if he didn't. "Damon! Babe, I need you to focus. I need you to focus right now. We don't have time for self-pity. I need you to focus on making it off this broken patio in the next five seconds. You get off this thing and I will make it worth your while ok?" I said to him, trying to convince him that everything would be fine. And it worked like a charm. All I needed was to let him know I would be right behind him and he was good. Almost like a child – he is on constant need of love and reassurance. "Ok. You promise?" he asked hesitantly. "I promise." I replied.
"Ok. I think I can do it." He said, not bothering to mask the fear in his voice. He stood, rocking from his ball to his heel, for a good few seconds. He swung his arms, and did everything he could to ensure his proper arrival. 1-2-3-4-5-JUMP. His arrival was bittersweet, for as soon as his feet connected with the steady house floor, another series of snaps and crashes came from the support beams below me. I now hung from a 70 degree angle, and I had no idea what was keeping the patio here. Maybe the patio's connection to the house on solid ground. Maybe there were a few remaining support beams. No matter what held me at this hellish angle, something did. And if it weren't for this bench being bolted down for me to hold, I would have been gone as soon as they snapped.
But now the problem wasn't the angle, but how I was supposed to get off. This patio was obviously not waiting for 911 to get here, and if I didn't find a way off now – I can't even think about it. People don't usually survive 300 foot falls without parachutes. "Johnny! Johnny! Oh shit, Johnny. What…shit…how did…ohmigod." He screamed, saying things so fast they all blurred together. "Damon. Calm down. Please. I need you to find someone who isn't intoxicated by anything." I yelled over to him. "Johnny, you're the only one man. Everyone else is fucked out of their minds." He replied gloomily. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! "Shit. Ok. Shit." I muttered, weighting my options. I glanced up to the patio door, and realized I had never seen Damon cry like this. He was barely even in control of himself. Shaking and convulsing as tears streamed out of his eyes. He had lost all control.
"YOU PROMISED! You promised. W-w-why…does nothing e-e-ever go right for me?" he screamed at the top of his lungs. "I always keep my promises Damon. You know that more than everyone. Now I don't have much time before this thing collapses. I need someone to reach down. I am going to stretch up, and I need someone to take my hand." I stated, again marveling at how calm I remained. "Well shit man, I'm the most sober person here right now." Jacob said hesitantly. "Then reach down and take my hand. I need some people to grab him at the waist and some people to grab his legs and feet." I demanded, hoping these idiots would be able to do what I asked. Thankfully people began to move into position. Random people grabbed his legs, while some people grabbed his waist. Damon straddled his back and grabbed his shoulders.
I climbed up the bench, pressing my feet against the armrest. The rest of me laid flat on the steep incline, reaching as far up on my own as possible. Jacob's fingers laced with mine and I used my feet to climb the slope as Jacob pulled me closer towards safety. Cracks and snaps against the house caused an eruption of splintering wood as the patio fell out from under me. My body swung into the stone cliff that held the snapped ends of the support beams, as the patio fell through the air to the patio below. It was twenty seconds before the patio smashed against the ground, hundreds of feet under me. Hopefully falling to my demise wouldn't be how I spent the last twenty seconds of my life.
My heart tried to escape from my chest as I was slowly hoisted up by the throngs of drunken teenagers. After five long minutes of struggling, I finally felt sturdy carpet beneath my feet. As soon as I felt the carpet on my feet, I felt Damon on top of me. He wasn't even making sense. Screaming, crying, kissing, all to show his insane happiness for my well being. I think he was more affected by this than I was. After minutes of gracing my cheeks with his he collapsed beside me. "I'm exhausted." He sighed against my neck. I laughed inwardly. 'You're tellin me…' I thought. "Then let's go up to bed." I laughed, pulling us up to our feet. "No. Lets go up to talk. Then, after everything is clear, then we can sleep." I said firmly. "Ok. Your wish is my command." I grinned, following him upstairs to talk, for the first time in a long time.