3June:
'Everything is going to be fine. I repeated his words to myself and felt a little more of the fear that held me captive dissipate. Shutting my eyes tight seemed to help at least I couldn't 'see' the dark, however with the loss of sight my other senses heightened, I caught a whiff of Jason's cologne and the masculine scent was driving me crazy. Part of me wanted to burrow myself deeper into his coat and smuggle closer to that heavenly scent another part of me wanted to push him away and dare the darkness instead. 'Everything was going to be fine alright, just as long as he didn't let go.'
Locked in this warm embrace with the rhythmic, sound of his heart beat against my ear I felt safe and cherished. Darkness lost the terror it always held for me and my rugged breathing slowed down to match his. It didn't matter that he probably thought I was crazy. With all the screaming and fighting who could blame him? All that mattered was that he was holding me as though I was something infinitely precious to him and I never wanted him to let go.
With slow reassuring motions Jason continued to brush my hair back from my face. Each feather light touch sent tingles racing down my spine and my breath hitched for a totally different reason. Desire. When he tucked a stray strand behind my ear I couldn't suppress the shudder that ran through my body and he felt it too, but attributed it to a different reason.
"Cold?" he asked
"Huh?"
"You are shaking, is that why you were searching for a blanket earlier?"
Earlier felt like ages ago, I struggled to recall what I had been searching for then, not a blanket I am sure, so where had he gotten the idea? Then it hit me. Blanket! This was going to be hard to explain, not to mention embarrassing and down right weird.
"June?" Jason asked, unsettled by my silence, "…are you okay?"
"I am fine" I hastened to reassure him "…just embarrassed."
"Why?"
"Earlier when I said 'Blanket!' I didn't mean it literally..."I trailed off not sure how to explain myself
"Go on" he urged
"I swear a lot,' I continued "and it ticked my mother off every time I shouted sht whenever I stubbed my toe or something didn't work out, so to avoid her scolding I replaced the 's' word with 'blanket' instead, it stuck.'
Jason said nothing and I was starting to feel awkward for rambling on
"You must think I am weird." I sighed
"Do you want to know what I think?" Jason spoke into my ear, a low suddenly
serious tone that sent more tingles racing down my spine and my heart thumping, oblivious to my reaction he went on speaking "...I think you are scared. " he stated. "... petrified in fact"
"I have always been scared of the dark..." I began to say but he cut me off
"I am not talking about the dark, June"
I stiffened, my thoughts whirling in so many different directions I thought my head would explode. Lifting my face off his shoulder, I tried to look up into his face but only darkness met my eyes hiding the answers I sought in his expression.
"Then what are you talking about?" I asked
"You, My dear angel, are scared to let go, scared to be out of control, scared to
feel..."
Angel! Did he just call me Angel, his Angel? For some unfathomable reason that though made me deliriously happy, and I had trouble listening to whatever else he was say was saying
'...That is why you run away from me' He concluded
"'I don't..."
"Don't deny it June. Every time I tried to get close to you, you ran. At first I thought it was something I did or didn't do, or something I said that offended you. Do you have any idea how much it hurt every time you walked away?"
I was speechless. I had never seen Jason, this open or direct before. I didn't know what to do.
"Don't fight it June" he pleaded
"Fight what?"
"This attraction between us…' He replied as his fingers traced a light path along the line of my jaw, the touch sparking an overflow of sensation that was unfamiliar yet not unpleasant ' …trust me, I won't hurt you. Just give me a chance and go out with me."
The temptation was great, the urge to say yes and loose myself in that welcoming embrace was almost irresistible, but this was too much, it was all happening too fast; I couldn't do it. Not yet.
"Jason..." I started to say but just at that moment the lights came back on. The
Glare was painfully blinding after the darkness we had been subjected. I blinked rapidly and the fuzzy image before my eyes slowly came into focus
The first thing I noticed was the fact that Jason's face was merely inches from my own, and then smoldering look in his eyes took my breath away. I tore my gaze away only to have it captured by his sensuous lips, panicked I tried to turn away but his hand tilted my chin up forcing me to look into his eyes. Move! My mind screamed at me but my body refused to comply. I stood there spellbound watching as he leaned in slowly. My heart hammered loudly in my ears and my breath was coming in short gasps. When his lips finally met mine, I swear the world tilted on its axis.
It started soft and tentative, a simple brush of his lips against mine, but there was nothing simple about the emotions that flooded through me. Logic and desire warred within me and logic lost. Seemingly on their own accord my hands crept up to his shoulders to pull him closer. At the gesture all restraint vanished the kiss became a lot more demanding, a tad bit more desperate and a hell lot more intense.
"Excuse me," A foreign voice cut through the air.
If I ever wondered what a deer caught in the headlights felt like, I didn't wonder anymore, now I knew. Mortified and embarrassed I let go of Jason as though touching him would scald my hands and turned to see the door man watching us with an sheepish grin on his face, when had the elevator stopped? I wondered. Never mind that, just get out of here! And so I did, ignoring Jason's outstretched arms and tears of humiliation blurring my sight, I did the one thing Jason had begged me not to do, grab my bag, a few scattered papers and run.
Jason:
It was raining again. It had been raining all week as though even the weather was determined to reflect my gloomy mood. I watched as the stormy skies above soaked the grounds beneath and wished June was here with me. It didn't matter what I was doing, my thoughts inevitable strayed to June and then to the kiss in the elevator.
What had I been thinking? No I hadn't been thinking, all my mental facilities had ground to a halt when she looked up at me with those mesmerizing innocent eyes. How could I resist the invitation to kiss those tantalizingly soft slightly parted lips?
I had meant it to be just a brief chaste kiss, but that intention flew out of the window the moment she pulled me closer. Soft and sweet quickly turned into deep and exploring, demanding and intense. I didn't even notice when the elevator ground to a halt and when the doorman interrupted us, I almost had a heart attack. I could only watch when she pushed away from me, panicked, dazed and scared. I tried to reach for her but she avoided my embrace and ran leaving my arms empty and my heart aching. But what hurt more was the sight of tears in her eye, I made her cry, Damn it! How could I have been so stupid?
I tried to find her the next day to no avail, if I had thought she was avoiding me before the elevator incident then this time around she must have relocated to another planet. All my efforts to find her were in vain, she seemed to have a sixth sense that told her when I was in the vicinity, because every time I walked into her office I was told she had just left and no matter how long I hung around she never turned up.
After two days, the frustration had turned into desperation. I lost sleep, her face was all I saw the moment I closed my eyes, I lost my appetite too, not even the most delicious meal could compare to the taste of her soft lips. Even Work didn't help to banish the memory of that searing kiss. It was easier before, when kissing her had been a fantasy but I had sampled reality. I knew just how good we could be together and I intended to fight for it. If only I could find her.
With a sigh I turned away from the window and walked back to the table and sat there with my head in my hands. When did had all this happened? I wondered, when had I fallen so deep? Here I was on a Saturday evening alone in my apartment pinning after a girl who wanted nothing to do with me. This wasn't me. This longing, this hurting, wasn't me at all.
I looked down at the papers that lay scattered on my table and wondered for the nth time where I could have placed the sketch; if I couldn't see her physically then I could at least see my representation of her but the sketch was missing. I had searched everywhere! Gone through my folder countless times hopping to find it there but my efforts were fruitless. I came to the conclusion that it must have fallen out of my folder, in the elevator, and June had taken it with her.
In a small way, that would explain why she was avoiding me so ardently. She must have seen the sketch and concluded I was an obsessed, dangerous man. Damn it!
I had ruined the only chance I had been given to convince her to trust me and the idea that I will never get that close again filled me with dread. I needed to see her, to apologize for rushing her, and this time I would control myself. This time I would not let desire over run my thoughts and control my actions.
This was getting me nowhere, all this thinking was driving me crazy I needed to do something. Outside the rain was pouring harder, on impulse I stood up opened the door and walked out into the storm. The splash of cold drops of water on my head and shoulders gradually drenching my clothes was strangely exhilarating, making me want to laugh.
The last time I had walked in the rain was when I was a little kid, it always helped me to sort out my thoughts and though I didn't think it would have the same effect this time, I started walking all the same.
June:
"Its so dammed cold" I muttered to myself while adding more wood to the fire. All this rain was getting on my nerves, my life was complicated enough at the moment without me having weather problems to deal with, it didn't help that lighting
Wood fires wasn't my specialty, it would burn brightly for a few minutes then frizzle out to just glowing coals. Satisfied that the fire would stay on for a while longer this time around I walked back to my desk determined to get some serious work done.
Ten minutes later I gave up the pretence and rose again from my desk. Work wasn't what I wanted to do tonight; I couldn't concentrate long enough to get any of it done. Not when I kept thinking of Jason.
I needed to find him and apologize but I was embarrassed and scared, what would I say to him, sorry I ran when we kissed? Sorry didn't seem appropriate yet I was truly sorry. I knew better than anything how much courage it had taken him to admit his own feelings and let me know what he thought, I owed him more than an apology, I owed him an explanation and an answer to his request but I couldn't bring myself to face him.
Keeping out of Jason way this one week wasn't easy but I managed, what I couldn't do was keep him out of my thoughts, and dreams. Sighing I walked back to my desk and pulled out the sketch from among the other papers on my desk. It still took my breath away every time I looked at it and I had looked at it often in the last few days. I couldn't get over the way it captured details, it gave me the chance to see myself through his eyes; an innocent one winged angel, was that how he saw me? Or maybe he intended to complete it later, he never intended for me to see this.
'You, my dear angel, are scared to let go, scared to loose control, scared to feel.'
His words rang clearly in my mind. It was time to stop being scared; I needed to stop running, it only hurt as both.
Jason:
I was working late again, or rather I was thinking late again, no prices for guessing who occupied my thoughts, if I couldn't see her then I could dream about ? The light tap on my door jerked me back from my daydream and I looked up from thereport I was pretending to read ready to blast whoever had disturbed my privacyto kingdom come.
"June!"
For a minute I thought I was still dreaming, she was standing slightly inside my door, as beautiful as ever and my eyes hungrily drank in the sight, today she was dressed in a black skirt suit but even the official look did not detract anything from her natural beauty. She was holding a folded paper in her hand which she was grasping rather tightly, she must be nervous. I understood, I was nervous too, not quite sure what to say, I didn't want her taking off again now did I?
Standing up from my desk I hurried around to usher her in.
"Come in and have a seat, " I enthused, sending a silent pray of thanks when she didn't brush my hand off her shoulder "…we need to talk'. I led her to one of the
Visitors chairs and sat in the one opposite her
"I came to return this" she said before I could say anything else. I took the paper she was holding out to me, disappointment gnawing at me. Was that all she had come to do? Tearing my gaze away from her lovely face, I slowly unfolded thepaper. It was the missing sketch.
There was something different about it though,at the bottom of the page, written in her neat handwriting was a quote. Intrigued I read it aloud.
"We are each of us angels, with only one wing, to fly we need only embrace each other"
I was stunned, I looked back at the sketch and read the quote again, it fit so well! I looked at her, seeking confirmation that I wasn't reading too much into this, jumping into conclusion.
"You were right Jason…' she replied to my unspoken question, "I am scared but I can't live my life controlled by my fears, so if the offer is still on I would love to go out with you'
I don't know who moved first, it didn't matter anyway; all that mattered was that she was finally in my arms again and I kissed her will all my heart
"You can't believe how much I wanted to do this" I whispered when we broke apart to catch a breath
"I think I have inkling" she whispered back
"Let me get my coat then we can go out to dinner we have a lot of catching up to do'
She nodded.
Quickly I gathered my coat and a few other odds and ends the walked over to her and offered her my arm.
"Ever the gentleman, huh?" She teased with a little laugh and linked her arm with mine
"Anything for my lady" I declared leading her out of the office. Once in the corridor though, she tugged me in the opposite direction from the elevator, at my questioning look, she laughed
"No more elevators for me" she declared
"But its twenty floors down!" I protested
"I know" she intoned letting go of my arm, she began walking away; then she stopped and turned around 'Are you coming or are you going stand there all evening?'
I laughed and followed her.
The end
Authors note: how did you like it? let me know, ie review review review please