Zookeeper

Crackfic One-shot Challenge

A/N: Right, so, the story behind this is that my friend gave me a little challenge when I had writer's block... I wrote this back in '06 and recently re-discovered it, and did a little rewriting but everything is essentially the same, except for added descriptions and grammatical corrections.

The challenge was to write a sex scene and incorporate the following:

Opening line: It was a perfect day for a trip to the zoo.

Sex scene line (something said during sex): The scuba diver burst through the cracked glass, carrying a harpoon.

Ending line: It's not as if the beavers wanted to fly a spaceship from their dam to the White House or anything.

Characters: Sexy zoo keeper named Xavier, and teen named Cato.

Relationship-consummating place: Reptile house or zoo cart.

Now... begin.

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It was a perfect day for a trip to the zoo. Which would be why the zoo was completely packed and Xavier was busy like a beaver! Xavier had short, black hair, and was Asian. This meant that he had brown, almond-shaped eyes, which the children often teased him for... asking mean questions like, "Can you see out of those?" which caused Xavier to lose his temper and set his reptiles loose on the fuckers. But today, there were no children in the reptile house when he came back from his lunch hour to check on the reptiles. Only an old couple and a really, really attractive teen... so attractive, that Xavier was now sporting an erection. Whoops!

The old man noticed and made a disgusted noise, mistakenly thinking that Xavier had been looking at his wife and that she had prompted Xavier's wood to spring up! The man ushered his wife out of the reptile house, leaving the hot teen and Xavier alone. The object of Xavier's present fantasies looked at him with those gorgeous grey eyes, lightly rimmed in a thin line of brown eyeliner, accentuated with tan eyeshadow... Xavier's manly meatstick pulsed in wanton lust! And the teen seemed to notice.

"Um..."

Xavier had the decency to blush, holding out his hand to the teen (who was inconveniently on the other side of the room). He belatedly pointed to his nametag with his other hand. "X-a-v-i-e-r," he spelled out. "Ex-ay-vee-er," he made sure to enunciate every syllable properly.

In return, he got a blank stare and was met with silence.

"It's my name," Xavier said with a silly smile.

More silence.

"So... what's your name?"

"Is that a boner?" the teen asked, giving Xavier an incredulous look. Finally, he spoke! And oh, his voice was like sweet, sweet honey, slathered all over his body and being licked up by thousands of fork-tongued monitor lizards. Which brings Xavier back to the question... somehow.

"...a boner?" Xavier looked down, and then back up at the teen. "Uh, well, duh. No, I put a lizard in my pants," he rolled his eyes. It would have to have been a komodo dragon, if Xavier had put a lizard in his pants.

Nervous energy was pouring from the beautiful, sexy teen. "I'm not gay, sorry... and my name is Cato," the teen replied. He shifted nervously, brushing his beautiful brown hair from his eyes and seeming to inch toward the exit slowly.

"No!" Xavier called out in a panic. "Don't leave, I need you to help me!"

Cato froze, looking like a deer caught in headlights. "H-help you?" he stammered. "With... with what?" he looked frightened.

"With my erection! You have to help me get rid of it," Xavier pleaded, face sincere.

"What the fuck? Why the hell should I do that?"

"Well you're the one who gave it to me," the lizard-keeper explained matter-of-factly. It was quite logical.

"It's not my fault you're... you're..." the teen's cheeks flared pink in a blush. He didn't want to say it... awww, how cute.

"Yes, actually, it is," Xavier said, deadpan.

Cato looked disturbed, and slightly angry. "I'm not helping you, Ex-ay-vee-ur!" Cato emphasized each syllable with venom. "Fuck this, I'm not a fag!"

"You will be when I'm done with you," Xavier purred menacingly, pressing the convenient lock-all-exits-to-keep-sexy-teen-close-enough-to-fuck button. "Take off your pants!" he exclaimed, stalking closer.

"Like hell I will!" Cato spat back defiantly.

"Take them off or I'll rape you with a snake instead of my cock!" Xavier growled.

Cato speedily complied, blush flushed from his cheeks. He was looking a bit sickly. His pants fell to the ground, revealing pink boxer-briefs. Xavier's eyes narrowed as he took them in. "Not a fag my ass. Now, take those off, and bend over that desk housing the cage with the anaconda!" he ordered. "Or I'll rape you with a lizard!" he added.

Cato took off his tighty-whities... well, tighty-pinkies (insert snicker here) and bent over the desk like a good little slutty teen who didn't want to be raped with a reptile.

Xavier undid his pants, sauntering up to Cato and pressing his freed manmeat against the teen's backside. "You're such a sexy little boy, Cato," he moaned, gripping the teen's hips and grinding against him.

Cato let out a quiet whimper, closing his eyes. 'I'm not gay, I'm not gay, I'm not gay,' he thought desperately to himself. '...oh fuck this, I want that cock in my ass now!' "P-please, please, fuck me, please... or... or else," Cato's pleas were weak whimpers and the wavering threat at the end made Xavier snicker.

"Or else what?" he questioned, sliding his fingers inside of the teen to prepare him. He had magically lubricated himself and his fingers while Cato was busy with his inner-monologue. Once he was finished stretching Cato's tunnel of love with his manly digits of preparing, he slid into the teen with a moan. It was so hot, so slick, so... not as tight as he thought it would be. Slut. But still, so, so, so deliciously good. When he was fully sheathed inside of the lithe young man, he licked his lips and continued what he was saying before. "Or else the scuba diver will burst through the cracked glass carrying a harpoon?" his voice was strong, deep, and lust-filled, lending the absurd sentence a sexy feel.

Cato wasn't sure how to reply and instead chose to ignore the strange question, wiggling his bottom in attempt to get that delicious hunk of throbbing, masculine rod deeper inside of him. "Please..."

Ex-ay-vee-ur complied, pulling out so that just the tip of his booty-plundering stick was inside of Cato before slamming himself back in, making the desk the teen was pressed against rock violently. Cato let out a mewl of pleasure. "Oh, oh, yes!" he cried.

Xavier spread Cato's legs to allow for better access, using one of his hands to play with the teen's own pristine rod of manliness (though it hadn't reached the peak of manliness yet as Cato was still a teen). The other hand was pressed against Cato's back, keeping him tight against the desk. Cato whimpered as Xavier started rolling his hips, humping Cato's backside slowly. "You like that, don't you, you little whore? Not a fag my ass... you want more of Papa's love stick?" he purred obscenely.

Cato whimpered, a little disturbed by the commentary but nodded nonetheless. "Please..."

"Tell me how it feels, Cato, tell me how you want it..." Xavier prompted.

"O-oh! It feels... feels so good... you're so big, I want it so hard," Cato whined back.

Xavier smirked, sliding his hand up and down Cato's slick, hard, throbbing tube of salty masculinity as he began to thrust again.

Cato cried out, the desk starting to rock dangerously as Xavier kept increasing the speed of his thrusts, jerking into the teen violently. The anaconda's in the cage were growing agitated with the bump-bump-bump of their cage against the wall.

"I want to fuck you like an animal!" Xavier whispered hotly, licking the shell of Cato's ear and slobbering all over it. "So hard... unfff yesss..."

The teen mewled again in pleasure, squirming and rocking his hips back to meet Xavier's powerful animalistic thrusts. "Please, oh please!"

Xavier stepped back, pulling the teen with him so that they were both standing. The reptile-keeper wrapped one arm around the teen's chest, the other hand still occupied with Cato's naughty bits. As if the sex wasn't enough, Cato's erection swelled, the sound of flesh slapping against flesh turning him on even more.

"I'm gonna... I'm gonna reach the finish line!" Cato warned with a whimper, not knowing whether to thrust forward into Xavier's hand or to rock backwards into those deliciously wet thrusts.

Xavier smirked. "Scream my name, booboo bear," he hissed, his thrusts now coming so fast and hard he wasn't sure if the teen would ever be able to walk again.

Cato cried out Xavier's name as he came violently, making a mess on the side of the anaconda's glass cage. "XAVIER!"

The reptile-keeper moaned as Cato's love pocket tightened around him, and Xavier slammed himself deep as he reached his end inside of the slutty teen. They both stood there, in the throes of orgasm, somehow not toppling over in a sweaty mess of disgusting man-fluids and reptile-house-floor. After a few moments they came down from their high, Cato collapsing back against Xavier-the-statue with a whimper.

Cato looked as if he were about to pass out as he began to mumble. "Dunno why my mom told me gay sex was an abomination, I mean... I mean... 's not like the beavers wanted to fly a spaceship from their dam to the White House or anything..."

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