It's not real,
I say to myself
As I watch my childhood,
My whole life,
All I have ever known,
Flash by before my eyes.
This isn't me.
Not now,
Not yet.
It's too soon.
But still I stand,
In my white robe,
My gold tassel hanging from my cap,
Diploma in hand.
When did this happen?
When did I grow up?
When did my childhood suddenly disappear?
I never even noticed.
I look around at all these people,
The friends I have had since kindergarten,
And I realize after all these years,
We have changed.
We know things we didn't know nine years ago,
We dream of things that can become reality.
With a pang of regret,
All the things I never said rush to my mind.
How I never apologized for all my wrongs,
And never got to say how much I cared.
And now I will never get to say goodbye.
Because I cannot,
Will not accept this.
I don't understand how this is the end.
Will I ever see them again?
It all crashes down on me now.
Weeks ago,
I told myself that I still had more time,
I could put off the goodbyes,
I didn't have to cry.
But as I stand here now and look around,
I see all the people
Who I haven't said goodbye to,
And now there is no time left.
Wait,
Stop,
This is not happening.
I can't understand.
This is the end?
This is the end?