Summer '05 you laughed at me in the middle of the parking lot at the school district's administration building. My mother had asked if I was going to talk to you. I'd shouted no. My mother knew in an instant that I liked you. I didn't know it until you laughed with all your might.

I fell in terrible like.

Autumn '05 I told you I was writing a story about you and declared that you had to be completely natural around me. You said OK. No one's ever said OK to me before...just like that. I blushed and said thank you, you smiled. I remembered why I was writing it and became depressed.

You patted my head and told me it should be a great story.

Winter '05 you stood in your band uniform, looking like a complete dork. Ashton asked why you wouldn't talk to me. I glared at you and asked as well, we were partners in Spanish II. This last semester you'd half avoided me. You fidgeted and said I made you nervous.

That's the first time I saw you blush.

Spring '06 it was nearing the end of my freshman year. I couldn't be more excited. Only three more to go! The hallway was packed but you slipped in front of me in no time. I promised myself I'd gain that skill so I wouldn't have to run to class. You stopped suddenly. I slammed into you and you just looked behind you and smiled. Moments passed before you moved again. It was heaven.

We were late to Spanish.

Summer '06 it was the last week of band camp and you decided to prank me. It was completely out of character for you. Dumping water on my head was completely unnecessary. You giggled, no really. Giggled. Don't worry, I giggled to and was about to retaliate when we were called to the field. I got you back later with a piece of ice down your borrowed my phone to call for a ride. It was only my phone you used.

You told me to save the call.

Autumn '06 I began to get more reckless. I told Karina about my like. She made it her personal mission to sit us together at every possible second. Miss Stacie found out too. Damn band mom. She teased me all the time. Like a child really. She told you that you were Tina's. Tina told her no. She told you that you were mine. You had to listen to every word I said. I played along. You asked who I was. Then blushed when you found it was me.

I cried for two hours that night.

Winter '06 we had our seasonal concert. You used my phone every night for a ride. I offered one once but you said no thanks. You ride was already here. The next day I found out your brother was caught selling wouldn't talk to anyone. At all. But at lunch, before the others got to the table, you told me that he wasn't like you or your sister. He was different. When the others sat you returned to King Lear like nothing happened. No other words were spoken that day.

Why did you only talk to me?

Spring '07 was a nightmare come true. I'd fallen in 'high school love' with you. I was like every other girl in the world. I was floundering and becoming more open. I began teasing you outside of class and lunch. Punching your arm lightly and cracking jokes. Karina made sure we all walked to homeroom together. I had the class on the other side of the building. With Tina. I didn't want to be next to you that day, I was feeling to careless. So I went up the stairs before you and her. My shoes were squeaking and sliding off. Damn Vans. Stopping, I took them off and ran up the stairs. You asked her if I was always that impulsive. She said yes. We all laughed. She walked to her class, and even though my class was closer going with her, I went with you. Desperate not to break contact yet.

That's the first time you said have a nice class to me.

Summer '07 was almost unbearable. New voices, new names, no love. He came to me then and hugged me. This freshman dared to touch me. You left with out a word, that's the only thing that mattered to me yet this child wanted to change that. He took my phone and called himself. He stole my number. That began the long route of our friendship.

I looked through our yearbook when texting him.

Autumn '07 was less painful. I could smile at your memory. Tina ruined it all. She asked if I remembered you. Of course I did. I always will. She said that you took a place in her heart. Being the first person she liked after her boyfriend dumped her. Hell. What was I to do now? I still shivered at the sound of your name. Our friend Jenny unwittingly asked if I ever got over him at the mall the next week. Tina merely looked at her and laughed, like I could ever like someone she did. It was impossible.

Oh, so little did they know that your name makes me light up.

Winter '07 was when he confessed to me. Apparently he liked me. Why? I'm not pretty. He agreed. I'm too smart. He agreed. I'm to old. He didn't think so. Age didn't matter to him. Only I did. How could he like me if he didn't think I was pretty? Wasn't that a necessity? I pulled out my yearbook. Was it like this for you? Being so liked by freshman as a junior? How would you handle a girl confessing? Well, you ignored Tina and became friends with Ashton. Did you think I liked you?

I held off until April then dated him.

Spring '08 was a gift. We dated a month then broke up. He never liked me, just wanted to date someone older. These things happen a lot I guess. This is also the first time I haven't cried at a graduation. I miss you. It was like a sickening memory being there. I finally thought I could move on. I'd be a senior next year. Things would change. A week later the incident at the gas station happened. I really love you. That destroys me a little. I'll never get the romance I've always wanted.

Oh well, I was never going to get it anyway.

Summer '08 is a little apathetic. Nothing is happening. I haven't seen you, haven't heard of you. But it's really nothing new. The story I began as a freshman is finally bearing fruits. I never thought it would. It was the one I'd studied you for. But something is changing in it. There's someone new that's popped up, I don't know where he's come from. Is he the side I wished you showed? Is he purposely the complete opposite of you? You're still there. Still strong and loved. Every dream, every fantasy I've had of you and I is poured into this story. I hope I don't have to write about you anymore. It's starting to get boring. Not for me, but for my readers. I want them all to like me and my dreams. But are here too much.

I don't want you to disappear...but...just let me sleep.