The Disease with No Cure (inspired by something I was told.)
Your heart beats about 20 times faster than it's supposed to, your stomach cringes as it's doing flips, your breathing becomes short and sharp, and you're uncontrollably shaking. Yeah, that's when you know something's up. You go to a doctor and there's no diagnosis. You go to your parents, who claim to know everything, and come up with nothing. Then, in one final attempt that you think is stupid, you go to a psychiatrist, and they know what's going on. The verdict: LOVE.
You want to deny it, but the signs have always been there. You've always been a little more observant of them, you'd do anything to hear the sound of their voice, you hold on to hugs for just a little too long, and you have to catch yourself when you think of them in a provocative way; the things the two of you could do, the things you could become. Too bad you can't and you won't.
They say love knows no boundaries, but I beg to differ; when the world disapproves and so does the prey of the ill person, there seem to be some limitations. You can't be alone with this person, you can't discuss anything that could be misinterpreted for hints of love (which is just about everything,) and you can't let yourself think of this person, for it will be your own demise.
The two of you are one in the same; gender, I mean. It's near impossible to try and spark something, since she won't let anything lead to that. No, she also drives on the line instead of picking one, but she is only like that for certain people. With my luck, I am not one of those people.
Her name: I can not give to you, for she might be reading this; and although she already knows, it is still 'against the rules' and I am 'forbidden to speak of this.' (Not by her rules, but by mine since I know she is uncomfortable with it.) Her 'initials' are F.T., but that is only what I call her. Yes, she calls me the same, but it will in no way be deduced as an act of fondness; but merely friendship. We've been friends for some time now, and with the way things are going, it will stay that way.
For those of you reading this and are in the same, if not a similar situation, I am sad to say that I have no advice to give to you. Like I said earlier, I had to seek advice myself, and that was just to acknowledge what it was, she didn't say anything about medicine, a cure, or even treatment. The best thing I can give you is just try to move on, as cliché as that sounds.
Although, you never do really move on, do you? I mean, the feelings never go away, they just numb themselves out for the illusion that you're finally over them. That's why when you walk past an ex or someone you used to like, you still blush slightly and still get the little butterflies in your stomach. The human nature in us longs for us to cling onto something, someone. Isn't that what having a crush or being in love is all about?
I guess the only cure then is to not be human. Have fun trying to pull that one off. If you figure out a way, let me know!