Billiam the Bard's adventures part 1
I was 12 when I first wanted to be a bard,
my father thought of me as a bit of a tard.
He was a doomsayer, telling of coming wrath
I did not want to follow his path.
It was in a pub where I first met Sir. Logue
and his friend Jumbles the cool old rogue
"Everything has a Beginning"
"Yes dad I will watch out for the four riders of the apocalypse. Yes, yes and the meteors too, I know that hell hounds rip the souls out of mortal men and devour them." Billiam said as he walked out the house. Today was not just any old day, today was his birthday. Billiam is now 18 so he will soon leave the house and find a successful adventurer to follow, telling of the deeds the heroic hero has wrought. He will dazzle the crowds with his beautifully crafted poems, his songs sung like the sounds the very heavens themselves sound like. His stories will make people laugh cry and nod their heads in approval. His tales will have the maidens swoon and the men feel insignificant. He will make millions and live in a castle, then marry a princess. Billiam couldn't wait to begin his quest, but first, he had to find an adventurer.
So Billiam set off to the local tavern to scope out the place, as he walked up to it he saw this small fellow dressed in black get thrown out the tavern by a huge fellow not wearing a shirt. "Hello kind sir" Billiam said "I was wandering if you saw any hero type people in there as you were flying through the air"
"No sir I'm afraid I couldn't see anything, my face was buried in that man's armpit. Not by my own will mind you, that would be strange." Said the small man, "My name is Jumbles"
"Hello Jumbles my name is Billiam, I am going to be a bard. Say why were you thrown out?"
"Well you see I am a rogue" There is a long pause,
"Ah yes that makes perfect sense, see you later" Billiam said in a sarcastic manner.
"Yes well if you need anything my friend and I are staying at the inn."
"Why would I need anything from you" "strange man" Billiam whispered to himself as he walked away. As he stepped into the tavern he was wondering what kind of man buries his head in a shirtless muscley chap's armpit, speaking of which he was wearing tight leather and didn't he say he was staying at an inn with a man. He forgot about Jumbles when he looked around, he only saw drunkards and weaklings. He suddenly saw a man passed out on the table who looked the adventurer type. "Say my good man can I buy you a beer while we converse. I am now 18 so I can do that.
"I was once 18" Said the drunken man
"Um… I'm sure you were, so tell me are you a hero or a villain. Or are you someone who goes around doing whatever will get him a few gold coins."
"I was once a gold coin" Billiam decided that this man was not the sort of adventurer he could sing songs about. So he made a hasty escape before the man could become conscience again. After speaking to random people (none of which worth mentioning) Billiam decided he wasn't going to find a hero here.
"Great what am I going to do now" Billiam said as a he walked outside, suddenly he saw his father screaming about the end of the world, since it is his job. (Hey I'm not judging him everyone needs to work in some way)
"The hell hounds are coming BEWARE! Billiam you have to hurry and get back to the safety of the house! Plus we are about to start the party for your birthday." Billiam's father said as he ran in circles screaming about how his skin is burning off from the acid in the air and everyone should just kill themselves otherwise they will die in horrible ways. Billiam arrived at his house where there was a big surprise… from his mom. You see Billiam doesn't have many friends considering what his dad does in fact he doesn't have any. So after getting his funktasticness on he went to bed eager to begin his search anew in the morning. In the morning after breaking his fast with a baseball bat he set off.
He wondered where he should start the search since the tavern doesn't seem a trustworthy place. Then he remembered Jumbles, he should know where big strong heroic men are, so Billiam walked towards the inn. When he got there he asked the inn keeper which room the strange looking man dressed in black leather is, the innkeeper said "Room one" Which makes sense since there is only one room.
"Excuse me, are you Billiam" Billiam was in awe at this giant of a man standing in front of him.
"Um yes sir I am."
"Good, good because Jumbles was wondering when you were going to show up." Billiam realized this must be the knight Jumbles is travelling with, which makes sense because of his huge muscles and the size of his sword. "Come upstairs and we will talk about you joining us."
"You mean it I can follow you." Billiam was really excited now, this was the kind of hero he was looking for. After heading up to the room they finally came to an agreement, Billiam can follow them and sing tales of their adventures just as long as Sir Logue and Jumbles get a cut of the profit. Plus Billiam can't say anything bad about Jumbles and his questionable sexuality. So Billiam ran straight home and started packing.
This ends the first part of Billiam the Bard's adventurers but don't worry fans if you actually liked it and I don't forget about this I might continue the series.