January 2008
She tried so hard not to let her pain show. Nevertheless, it was too much to take, the anger pooled up inside her and it had to be released. What better way than writing it all down? Getting it out of her system? Sharing her madness with the world? The ramblings of a teen at two in the morning. Balancing school, missing life, losing sleep, already worried about college. All at an early age of 14. Worrying about politics? Is it too much for the new generation, her generation? Is there anyone serious enough for her to befriend. Is she really the only one who has a realistic outlook on her future? She already has chosen five possible colleges, already, only based on her 9th grade GPA. She has joined school-sanctioned sports, and hopes to join clubs, she only hopes that it will be enough. But what if it is not. There are still the SATs to think about, but lets not get ahead of ourselves, what about next year? Will she be able to survive that? She hopes to major in English, or maybe even in Architecture, also possibly minor in philosophy. Will it be too much? Is it even too early for her to be worried about her future, or is it too late? What if it all crumbles, everything she planned for will have failed. Failure is not an option.
February 2008
Desperately she called out to him, but he turned and walked away from her. It was the day that she knew her life would never be the same. Life grew awkward as they remained friends, but one day she did not show up for school. She could not face him anymore, and he moved on as though she never existed. She did not matter he thought, and put up a wall to protect him . . . she did as well. They never saw each other again. At least not until, they were brought together by a loss. A loss they shared together. They forgot all about past losses, and banded together to keep her in their mind. She left that day without a word, without a glance back, and she kept walking until she forgot everything. She stopped one day, and looked in a mirror and it all came back. Memories flooded her vision; she could not handle the pain and laid down to rest. He got away.
March 2008
Who does he think he is? Does he truly believe that he is better than everyone else is? He is coming back into our life -again- we have only just rebuilt everything that he has torn down. Coming back for the new girl. He is coming back for someone he has never even met. He is a player, a liar, and a cheat. Whatever.
June 2008
She wonders if her life is worth it anymore and just wants to be sucked into an alternate reality. A famous life as an actor, a writer, a singer. Anything other than what she is. Nevertheless, what is she? Does she even know that answer? Does anybody even know who he or she truly is, or do we just exist? Do we even have a purpose in life? She sits at home alone every night. Listening to the local hit station, alternating between pop/rap/hip hop and country, she reads, writes, and contemplates life. Trying to sleep but she never finds the pleasure in it that she found before. When it was her refuge, now it is just another place for her mind to think, it seems that it never stops. When she finally succumbs to sleeps strong pull, she is released. She is released into a world away from the pain of reality. She feels as though nothing in the world could go wrong. Only to wake up the next morning and realize that she is hours upon hours away from that world again. Only in her dreams does she truly escape her pain, her lies, and her life. She wishes every second of every day that she could just fall into one of her stories. Until finally she lays down her pen for the day, dropping it from her grasp. As she enters her newly created reality. Hope.
June 2008
Do you ever think about those kids. You know the ones, the ones you grew up with, you best friends, your best enemies. She had a lot of them. Do you know what she wondered about them the most? How would they turn out as adults? As our future country's leaders. Will society crumble? Probably.
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