I remember that last day clearer than crystal right now
and i've got no explanation as to why.
I want to forget, let it go, be dead...like what I am to you.

I remember the swing set, you pushed, a true brother
I rambled, in true younger sister fashion.

You didn't know, least as far as I knew
I was crying, or maybe you did, cause you asked if I was okay
but you asked me that so many times that day I think you were on auto pilot.

The platform, no numbers just the platform, from the street to the train I ran cause I figured if id make that train and get away it wouldn't hurt, I wouldn't cry.
I missed the train...almost. I hugged you said goodbye, but I held on to one thing.

I ran, no looking back, okay, I looked back and gave you something
a half assed smile and a wave. You knew then I wasn't whole, but I was gone,
on that train moving miles away from you. You let go entirely, attached again for a moment, enough to send a text a question "a-ok"?

I lied when I said i'm fine, that I was stressed and forgot to say something.
I held it back cause...well I just did, and I sat on floor of that train and just cried, conductor ignored me but this lady didn't, she made me sit with her, let me lean on her and just cry until it hurt and then some. She stayed with me the whole ride to the terminal.

I don't even know why this even is on my mind, maybe cause I feel that sickening cold feeling again, cause another person I care for is gone, cause i'm too weak to fight for them, or cause they restored my phone and even numbers i've deleted are back and it sucks seeing another name of someone who gets me that I can't turn to in a time where I really need help.

Maybe cause my life is never going to ever be simple and clean.

"An angel sits in the center of a clearing in the woods holding a looking glass, singing to what only she can see... but do you hear her song?"