Dedicated to Suda 51, Quentin Tarantino, Simon Pegg, Jessica Stevenson, Marv Wolfram, and George Perez
3's and 7's
Prologue: Rock N' Roll Assassination
"This is unbelievable!" Kenji Arisawa slammed his fists onto his desk, rattling his cup of coffee. The heavyset Japanese man was red in the face from anger. "They can't do this! Aren't these people supposed to have codes of conduct? The entire reason I became a client of the League was to avoid bullshit like this!"
The American man standing in front of Arisawa cleared his throat. "Mr. Arisawa…that's exactly it. These people have gone rogue. For whatever reason, they've been killing the League's clients." He straightened his tie. "And they'll probably be coming after you next."
"Well…well…" Arisawa knocked his coffee cup off his desk. "Go do something about it!"
The man smiled from behind his sunglasses. "Preparations have already been taken, sir. We've hired an elite team of highly skilled men to guard the building. They're the best of the best. These rogue assassins may be in the League, but they're the absolute lowest ranked members. I doubt that they'll even be able to breach the perimeter."
At that moment, a loud crash came from the bottom floor, and the entire building shook.
The man in the sunglasses winced. "Oh. Um…we should probably stay in this room now…alright, sir?"
Arisawa nodded, too scared to speak.
The large double doors of the front door were lying on the ground, crumpled like cardboard. The man who had done the crumpling was standing in the middle of the lobby, staring at the 7 men in front of him holding automatic weapons. The men stared back at him, unsure of exactly what they were seeing. The curly haired who had just caved in the reinforced steel doors was clad in a bizarre white costume, and appeared to be completely unarmed.
"So…are you guys gunna shoot me, or…" The man trailed off, yawning.
The mercenaries opened fire on the man, an obscene amount of bullets bursting from their guns. The man began to crackle with white energy, and each bullet stopped centimeters from the man, suspended in the air. After a few seconds, the men stopped firing, and the strange superhuman let the bullets drop to the ground. The gunmen looked at the strange with terror.
The man nodded, and smiled. "Yeah." The leapt into the middle of the mercenaries, his knee colliding with the midsection of one of the men, who shot across the room and collided with a wall. Before the gunmen could react, he placed the palms of his hands on two of the their chests, and blasted them to opposite sides of the room with a surge of white energy. He broke another man's neck with a savage punch to the face, and as another mercenary tried to shoot him in the back, he whirled around and snatched the bullet out of the air and kicked the man in the chest, sending him crumpled to the ground. He turned to another mercenary, and snatched the man's gun out of his hands, and shoved the weapon through the man's chest. The final mercenary was running towards the stairs, trying to escape to the second floor. The stranger chuckled, winding up as if about to pitch a baseball. White energy crackled around his hand, and he threw the bullet in his hand directly at the man. It passed through his body with such force that he flew across the room, colliding with the stairs. The man grinned, and dusted off his hands.
(Freeze-frame, the word Toybox appears at the bottom of the screen.)
Toybox strolled towards the stairs, stepped over the body, and began to climb them. He pressed a finger against a small device in his right ear. "Lambda to Hedgehog, the first floor is secured." As he reached the second floor, a large group of men were waiting for him, their guns drawn. Toybox frowned slightly. "Uh…now would probably be a good time to make your entrance, by the way."
A moment before the men began firing, a black blur shot across the floor, directly in front of the men. For a moment, they looked confused. Suddenly, their weapons crumbled, and blood began to shoot from deep wounds on their bodies. As the fell to the ground, Toybox turned his attention to a man standing in the corner, leaning on a katana. The man's pale skin was a sharp contrast to his jet black hair, black hoodie, and black jeans. He smiled at Toybox. "You like my entrance?"
(Freeze-frame, the word Freeman appears at the bottom of the screen.)
Toybox snorted. "Show-off."
Freeman laughed, sheathing his sword. "Yeah, Neo, I'm the show-off. You ready to finish this thing up?"
Toybox nodded. "Let's make a move."
As Toybox and Freeman jogged towards the stairs, Freeman placed a finger on a device in his ear similar to Toybox's. "Hedgehog to Mantilla, we are heading for the third floor. Prepare for Operation Yak Killer."
As the two assassins finished climbing the final staircase, the last of the mercenaries rushed to meet. As the gunmen drew their weapons, Freeman and Toybox pointed their fingers in the shape of guns at them.
The mercenaries eyed them nervously. One of them raised an eyebrow, and asked, "What the hell are you doing?"
Freeman responded by grinning, pointing his finger at the man's head, and saying "Bang!" A bullet immediately passed through the man's forehead. As he fell to the ground, the other mercenaries watched in stunned silence. Freeman and Toybox repeated the fake gunshot towards each man, and each time, a mysterious bullet ripped through them. In a matter of seconds, the remainder of the mercenaries were down. Freeman put a finger to the device in his ear. "Freeman to Mantilla, the third floor is secure. Nice shooting."
Across the street, on the roof of another three story building, a woman smiled. She was clad in a blue leather catsuit, her long brown hair cascading down her shoulders. A extremely long black and white striped scarf was draped around her neck. She was crouched down on her hands and knees, a scope-less sniper rifle in her hands.
(Freeze-frame, the words No Scope appear at the bottom of the screen.)
No Scope chuckled. "You know how I do."
"Alright," Freeman said, strolling towards a room at the over end of the floor with Toybox at his side, "Now get your ass over here. We got a job to finish."
"Yeah, I'm coming," she groaned, flipping onto her feet, and kicking her rifle up from the ground into her hands. "We don't have super-speed, you know." No Scope took a few steps back, took a deep breath in, and sprinted towards the edge of the roof, diving off head first. She crashed through a window on the third floor of Arisawa's building, landing in a crouched position, and slowing rising to her feet. Freeman and Toybox stared at her, taken aback.
"…You ever heard of stairs?" Toybox asked, his eyes wide.
No Scope shrugged. "That was quicker. We doing this thing?" Her partners nodded, and the three assassins finished their journey to the locked room.
Toybox examined the door, and nodded slowly. "You guys mind if I knock?" he asked. Freeman and No Scope shook their heads. Toybox slammed his fist into the center of the door, caving it in and knocking it off its hinges. As Arisawa yelled in fear from behind his desk, the American man jumped in front of him, drawing a gun. In a flash, Freeman's sword was through the man's stomach. Blood trickled out of the man's mouth, and his gun clattered to the floor.
"Tough break there, Shades," Freeman said softly, withdrawing his sword. The man collapsed, bleeding heavily.
Arisawa shook with fear. "You people…you people are insane! You can't just come in here and kill everyone! What the hell is wrong with you!?"
Freeman shrugged. "We kill people. It's…kinda our thing. But so do you, so…" Freeman stepped aside, and before Arisawa could say anything else, No Scope shot him in the head.
"Well, guys," No Scope began, "That's it. We just killed every client that the League had. Which means…" She scampered behind Arisawa's desk, and began rummaging through it. "Ha! Found it!" She held up a very ornate list in front of her partners. "Gentlemen…" She grinned broadly. "It's time to go after the big fishes."
Freeman cleared his throat. "The word is fish…actually."
No Scope glared at him. "Whatever!"