5Title: Escapades of the Romantically Challenged
Author: .theSCREAMINGgoblin.
Rating: T
Genre: Fiction, Young Adult
Summary:A series of oneshots revolving around the romantically challenged- pranks, misunderstandings, hookups, breakups, tripups, and generally F-ups galore! It's a terrible disease, you know. Rating slightly varies between chapters- from a low T to low M.
Chapter Four- Horror Movies!
He sat patiently on the couch, drumming his fingers back and forth on an exciting movie night in.
Yeah, right.
His girlfriend was bent over a large cardboard box, occasionally pulling out a few movies, reading the back, then promptly dissmissing them. "Honey?"
"Mmm hmm?"
"Are there any other movies?" She pushed herself farther in the box, scantily clad ass sticking up.
"Er- ...no."
"Huh."
There was five more minutes of scrabbling until she unfolded herself and sat on the couch beside him, two movie cases clamped between the index and middle finger.
He briefly looked at her movie choices. The Exorcist and I Am Legend. Not the other fourteen romantic comdeies he had so carefully chosen at Blockbuster. His father's thrillers.
She resistered his expression. "What?"
"Nothing," he looked down. "It's just that... I rented Chuck and Larry."
"Watched," she said breezily.
"But..."
"My pick tonight," she reminded him. "And I pick horror."
"But you don't even get scared!"
"That's the point. Romantic comedies are bor-ing," she pulled a face.
"But... then we can't cuddle," he said lamely.
"Then I'll pretend to be scared," she offered.
"But..."
"What?"
"But... I get scared..."
Her eyes widened. "Oh." She covered her mouth, eyes gleaming.
He now avoided the DVD with a newfound sense of fearfulness. "Blood... and guts...?"
"And demons and murderers and vampires," she squealed gleefully.
He whimpered.
"What doesn't hurt you, makes you stronger," she said philisophically.
He started shaking.
She shook her head, popping a DVD into the slot. "Pussy."
He covered his eyes as the opening credits came on, accompained by the creepy music.
She clapped. "Great, I'll make popcorn!"
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
Two hours later, she found him in the bathroom; a quivering lump of sweat and vomit.
She shook her head. "And you didn't even eat any popcorn."