Awkward Times

Stacy.

Of all the people who could have been responsible for at least part of our problems, I had never once suspected Matt's sister.

I stewed in anger for ages, sitting on a bench in the city centre. It started to drizzle, so I pulled my hood up and watched everyone scurry indoors, casting odd glances my way.

Stacy.

I still couldn't get over the fact that she had thrown the card away. Or the fact that she had been jealous enough to do it.

I mean, which sister gets jealous over something like that?

And hearing her say she had liked Ruby dramatically decreased my level of respect for her.

Matt. I should talk to him, I thought. Then I sighed. Even though Stacy's confession explained so much, there was no way on earth that it really mattered. His hypocrisy when it came to me was more than just a little annoying. It cut deep, even though I didn't want to admit it out loud. One day, he was telling me he liked me... that he wanted to go out with me. And the next time I see him, he's snogging Miss Slag.

Why did that girl keep reappearing in our lives again and again? I thought with sudden despair.

My phone rang for the umpteenth time, and I sighed, glancing at caller ID. It was Stacy, of course, so I didn't answer. If I did, I think my swearing and name-calling would be the least of our worries.

An alert told me I had a voicemail. I rolled my eyes, sighing again and suddenly feeling really cold. My anger had mostly seeped away to leave me feeling sad. All this time... all this time, I had thought Matt had been the one to throw the card away. And even when I asked him how he'd gotten hold of it, he wouldn't tell the truth.

How could he, I realised. He was protecting his sister. Of course he was. He's just that kind of guy.

Don't get carried away again, my brain interrupted. If he knew of your feelings, why would he go off with Ruby, all that time ago? And why was he still off with her, even after claiming that he loves you?

My musings were interrupted by another call. I was going to ignore it, but then I realised it was Vanessa.

"Hey Vanessa."

"Jeez Mel, where are you? We've been waiting a whole hour."

"Huh?"

"The movie? Our movie marathon? Ring any bells?"

"Oh, crap."

"You just went to the grocers. What's taking you two so long?"

"Sorry, I won't be coming back. I got caught up in something. And I don't know about Stacy. I don't know where she is."

"What are you talking about?" she asked, sounding confused.

I took a deep breath and massaged my temples. "We had an argument. She – Well, it doesn't matter. I'm not going to be joining you guys again. And as for Stacy, I just left her near your grocers. I don't know where she is."

"Oh God, is everything okay?"

"No Vanessa," I replied impatiently. "Everything is not okay. I'm cranky, and I'll probably say something I'll regret, so I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Okay," she agreed, sounding taken aback. "I guess I'll talk to you... at school?"

"Yep, fine. Bye."

I hung up and stuffed the phone into my jeans. I was soaked through and I had hardly any money on me, so it looked like I'd have to walk it home.

Sighing, I put my hands in my pockets and started on the long trek. But I didn't really mind much. It would give me time to burn off any remaining anger at Stacy, and decide what I would do next.

As it turned out, there wasn't much I could do. A long chat with Pam the next day dissipated any remaining negative feelings for Stacy, and I was pretty much ready to be back on talking terms with her. By that, I mean I was ready to acknowledge her presence, but anything more than a polite nod was not in the plans.

"She was only thirteen or fourteen back then," Pam pointed out at lunch as we wandered off for a walk again.

"So?"

"So she couldn't really have meant to be evil. Maybe she did it in one of those spontaneous-moments-of-extreme-emotion."

I couldn't help but grin. "Spontaneous-moments-of-extreme-emotion? You can come out with a load of crap sometimes."

"Blame it on the caffeine," she yawned and smiled. "But I agree that it was really bitchy of her to do something like that. And you should definitely milk the guilt. But when you think about it Mel, in the long run of things, it doesn't particularly matter, does it? You and Matt are going to end up together anyway."

I sighed. "Not quite. The last time I saw him, he was pretty preoccupied with Ruby."

Pam frowned. "What do you mean?"

I quickly updated her on everything that had happened and by the time I was done, her eyes were blazing on my behalf. "The two-faced, little-"

"Shush Pam," I said, eyeing a teacher standing nearby. "It doesn't matter anyway."

"Whenever you say that, I know it matters. Big time."

"It doesn't. Not really. I mean, yeah, it hurt to see him with her again. And I really wouldn't mind pushing that girl over a cliff myself. But he's made his choice, hasn't he?"

"He's an idiot," Pam added.

I nodded in assent but then sighed. "I just hope he doesn't try to continue with his bullshit line of proving his love to me. I don't know what I'll do if he does."

"Where's he been hiding anyway? I haven't seen him in days."

"Neither have I. And I live just across the street."

The next day at school, Rob wasn't in History class, so I naturally got worried and texted Pam, asking her if she was around. She said she'd see me at lunch, but that everything was fine.

"Mel Shmell," Tim greeted me as we joined the queue for hot food.

I nodded at him but didn't reply, my thoughts on Pam and Rob.

"What's wrong, hey? I've never seen you this preoccupied my whole life. Excluding every few days when I know you've been arguing with someone," he added.

I grinned. "Nothing's wrong. I just want to speak to Pam about something."

He yawned. "Girls."

I poked his side, and stuck my tongue out at him. "Guys."

"What's wrong with guys?" Doug asked as he joined us, his eyebrow raised. "You been having guy trouble, hey Mel?"

"Me? Guy trouble?" I scoffed. "You just don't know me at all, do you Douglas?"

He smirked. "Melissa, sometimes I think the rest of us know you better than you know yourself."

"That didn't make sense, you know," I informed him.

"Only because you're a bit slow today," Tim said affectionately, ruffling my hair. I scowled at him.

"Jeez, if looks could kill..." Vanessa greeted us as she sat down. "... Mel would have killed us all by now."

I rolled my eyes. "Hilarious. Really," I added sarcastically. "Is it pick-on-Melissa day today or something?"

"You guessed it," Tim replied just as Stacy walked in.

I had missed her at lunch yesterday since I'd dragged Pamela off for another walk, but I suppose it was time to be the bigger person and act maturely for once.

"Hey," she said vaguely to everyone, but her eyes were on me.

I flipped her off.

"Hey!" Tim said, glaring at me. "What was that for?"

Stacy was standing there, looking shocked but resigned. It was obvious she thought I was going to spill the beans on her. And knowing all of my mates like I did, I was certain they could make her life hell if I wanted. I toyed with the idea for a while, before sighing.

"Nothing. It's a personal thing," I informed Tim and the rest of the table. "Stacy isn't mad at me, are you Stace?"

She shook her head and sat down, but didn't say anything.

"There you go," I concluded and got on with eating my food.

"Rob's dads okay," Pam shrieked, rushing up to our table. "He's not critical anymore!"

I grinned at her outburst and obvious relief. She sat down and explained what had been happening to the rest of our mates.

"Why's he not here then?" I asked.

"Mel," she rolled her eyes. "His Dad's okay. Why would he want to be stuck in school when he could be celebrating with his family?"

I nodded. "True."

As we headed off to lessons later, she whispered, "And we had a long chat. We're taking a break from the boyfriend-girlfriend thing."

I gasped. "What? Why?"

"I think we need a break to put things in perspective. He needs to be with his family right now, and he... well, he was the one who suggested it."

"Bloody hell," I stared at her, wide-eyed. "I really do feel for him, Pamela, but he's being an idiot. You're like the perfect girlfriend! Not many girls would stick around hospitals all night!"

She smiled a little sadly. "It's okay Mel, it's not going to be forever. I know we'll be fine. But maybe he just can't handle it... the pressure of having someone else to look our for."

"That's ridiculous," I scoffed. "Pressure? He should be grateful he has you."

"I think things were just moving a little fast," she said as the warning bell rang. "I think I scared him by being there, if you know what I mean."

I nodded, agreed. "Yeah, that's probably it. Maybe he thinks you'll want to get married next or something."

She smirked. "No chance of that yet. I'm not that smitten. Maybe one day it would be nice, but I've got career plans to think of."

Just then, I bumped into someone and my bag went flying.

Cursing, I bent down to pick it up, but the other person got there before me.

It was Andrew.

After leaving his car a few days ago, the thought of him hadn't crossed my mind once, I realised guiltily.

"Mel," he greeted me in surprise. "Hey."

"Hi," I smiled awkwardly and took the bag from him. "Thanks."

"No problem," he replied, glancing at Pamela, who was studiously ignoring us. "How are you, Mel?"

I shrugged. "I'm good, and you?"

"Yeah, good thanks."

"Okay, cool."

This was turning out to be one of the most awkward conversations of my life.

The final bell rang and he forced another smile. "Well, I guess I'll be getting to class then. See you around?"

"Yeah, definitely," I nodded. "Bye."

And then he walked off, without a backward glance.

"Jeez, what's up with you guys?" Pamela asked, as we raced towards class.

I told her I'd update her on everything later as I snuck in to Maths, and she continued to a classroom further down.

As the teacher told me off and I took my seat, I remembered my previous conversation with Andrew.

"We can still be friends, can't we?" I had asked him as we buckled ourselves in, and he started the car, getting ready to drive me back home from his place.

His face had been dark and he sighed as he replied,

"That's just it Melissa. I don't think we can."

I felt a moment of sadness as I realised that he was probably right. We would never really be friends again. From here on onwards, our conversations would consist of awkward pauses and polite words.

Like two complete strangers.