"GET UP THERE YOU GAWD DAMN MAGGOT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT! MOVE IT! WHAT ARE YOU? A FUCKIN PUSSY?! YOU ARE WEAK! YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BE HERE! YOU CANNOT DO THIS!"
"Yes I can!"
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"
"Yes I can, SIR!"
"I CAN'T HERE YOU!"
"YES I CAN, SIR!"
"NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE!"
Oh, sorry. I bet you're wondering, 'What's the deal with this shit?', right? Well, let me tell you.
The reason a crazy mad-man is yelling at me, calling me a pussy, and saying I'm weak is just his friendly way of motivating me.
Huh? Still lost? Ok, let me fill you in on my wonderful life thus far...
My name is Sephen Divain. (Pronounced 'Dee-vine')
I'm 16 years old, 5'11", green eyes, light brown hair that is in a 'Jar head' style, and not to brag or anything, but I have a killer body. All the girls fall for me. Of course, I don't really care about that. Why, you might ask? Just one reason. And that reason's name is Saith. (Pronounced 'Sigh-th')
And in case it's in your mind, let me make one thing clear...
HELL NO SHE AIN'T MY GIRLFRIEND! SHE'S MY TWIN SISTER!
How about a little profile on her, shall we? Ok.
Her name is Saith Divain. (Obviously)
She's 16, five-foot-five, blue eyes, golden brown hair that reaches her lower back, and not to brag or anything, but she's got the type of body any chick would kill for. She's into dancing and pretty damn good at it I might add. She's also into damn near any sport imaginable. It's amazing how no matter how much she works out, which she does quite often, her breasts stay a size D. WAIT! THAT CAME OUT WRONG! I'm not a perv or anything. It's just, I know that 'cause when we got back after a trip to the mall (more like she dragged me to it), I grabbed the wrong bag and when I opened it... the bra was the first thing that came out. I was almost traumatized by it.
But none the less, if you go near my sister, I'll kill you.
Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you where we are. Well, seeing how Saith and I have the best parents in the world (Note the sarcasm there), her and I got dumped here at St. Kelly's Academy. Now we're under the watchful eye of Sgt. Lucifer...er...I mean Sgt. Kross. You see, this is a boarding school and my sister and I were placed in the JROTC program. It's some pretty gritty training and you usually come back to the quarters looking and feeling like shit, but compared to our life at home, this place is considered a heaven on earth in our eyes.
As for Sgt. Kross - who is the one currently yelling at me to get my pansy ass over the 80 foot wall - he's been the one taking care of my sister and me since we got here. When we were seven, our parents got the wonderful idea of sending us off to a boarding school so they could go around the world and blow their money off on meaningless things. Needless to say, Saith and I really enjoy it here. We share a room in the Commander's lodge because everywhere else was taken. We were sent late in the school year and our parents had to bribe the headmaster just to get rid of us. Charming, huh?
What lovely parents we had.
Doesn't matter, though. Sgt. Kross found out about our situation and it turned out that our parents actually put us up for adoption before they left. So now we're under the Sgt.'s guardianship.
"DIVAIN! GET YOUR ASS OFF OF THE OTHER STUDENTS NOW!"
Uh-oh. Sounds like Saith is starting fights again. That's just like her.
She doesn't have many friends. Actually I don't think she has any. Something about her not trusting any other girl 'cause they'll just use her to get to me.
Well, I don't really trust the friends I have 'cause I know they keep looking at her.
But it doesn't really matter. Saith can take care of herself. She's a damn good fighter. As that girl who now has a bloody nose just found out.
Ooh. That's gotta hurt.
Now it looks like three of our Company Commanders are trying to pull Saith off of the poor girl.
Nope, she's still going at it. That's one strong chick... Just don't let her know I said that. She hates to be called a chick, babe, or anything that she considers to be 'degrading to a young woman'.
Ooph! I think she just knocked out Cdt. Cpt. Charles. She's definitely gonna get a harsh punishment for this one.
Well, I'll tell you this much, I'd rather be here than at some old, boring, public school.
"Sephen and Saith Divain. Report to the Headmaster's office immediately. I repeat. Sephen and Saith Divain. To the Headmaster's office immediately." That was Ms. Lily on the loudspeaker. She's the Headmaster's main assistant.
Hmm. Wonder what he wants.
"Let's go Saith!" I shouted to my sis.
It was later that evening and Saith was just through getting scolded and punished to latrine duty and extra R.O.P.E.S training.
"I'm coming! I'm coming." Saith says, just a little exhausted from all the chores she got landing with after that little incident.
I bet you're wondering what caused it, right?
Well, it just so happens that when they were climbing over the log wall, the girl next to Saith didn't keep her head to the red and ended up getting kick in the head by Saith. Then the chick had the nerve to say that Saith did it on purpose and, get this, called her a dyke.
Remember I told you to never call her something that she would consider to be degrading to a young woman? I think you understand why she got ticked.
Oh look. Here we are. The Headmaster's office. Let's go in, shall we?
Well, strait ahead, you have the Headmaster, currently sitting at his over sized desk, in his over sized chair, with an over sized head... You know, I think he's compensating for something...Wonder what?
And in the chair to the right is Sgt. Kross. He looks a bit solemn...Wait...Solemn?! That doesn't bode well.
And in the sofa on the left, we have a woman and man who I have never seen before in my entire life...
Something fishy's going on here.
No shit, Einstein.
"Ah. Sephen. Saith. Nice to see you." Headmaster Hawkeye greeted us as we walked in.
"Hello, Sir." I greet back as Saith and I stand at At-ease.
That's where your feet are one-and-a-half feet apart, your hands are right-over-left behind your back (just below your belt), and you're standing up strait with your gaze directly ahead of you.
"Alright. I have some news for the two of you. Sephen and Saith Divain, you have been officially adopted."
You payin' attention to this shit?
HEY! DIPSHIT! PAY ATTENTION! YOU'VE BEEN ADOPTED!
"Sephen? Do you have anything to say?" Headmaster asks. I just didn't really register it.
I look over to Saith who, at this moment, seems to be doing a good job at keeping her bearing.
"Uh, sir. No sir." I say a bit uneasy.
Nice job, genius.
(sticks out tongue)
Wow. I didn't know that second voices had tongues.
I'm amazed at what you don't know.
"Well then. Let me introduce you to Mr. and Mrs. Jenkins. They are the ones who have adopted you two."
I look over at the happy little couple and feel so tingly inside. Maybe it's that bean burrito I had for lunch. I think I'm gonna barf!
Saith doesn't seem too happy about this. Actually, she doesn't seem too much of anything. She doesn't have an expression at all. Oh no. This ain't good. I've never seen her like this. Someone call 911! Come on, Saith. Say something. Get angry. Throw a chair out the window like you did when we first found out our parents put us up for adoption. Do something! You're scaring me.
"It's a pleasure to meet you. Sir. Madam."
HOLY SHIT! SHE SPOKE! But her tone of voice was so emotionless that it's more scary than her not speaking.
Wait a minute.
"So, that means we're leaving the school?"
"Yes. You will be in the public school near our house." Mr. Jenkins spoke up.