Lights in the Valley - by Recontre Destinee

"I've been looking in the mirror for so long.
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.
All the little pieces falling, shatter.
Shards of me,
Too sharp to put back together.
Too small to matter,
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.
If I try to touch her."

-"Breathe No More" by Evanescence

I have to walk alone. I have to stay strong; stand my ground, just a little while longer. I leave the carefree laughter of the others behind me and push myself harder to reach my destination. The adrenaline courses through my veins as my legs begin to throb from the walk up the hill to my sanctuary. But there's no safe place there. I have to stay strong.

I shut them out. I can't hear them now. My head pounds from shutting out the world and darkness of night around me, my legs throb and beg for me to stop. And, beating in harmony, is an aching pain in my chest, harmonizing with this painful symphony.

"This is ridiculous. There is no such thing as a broken heart," I think as I try to shut out even my own emotions. I long to be numb, to not feel until I know I can let my guard down. Besides, it's impossible to have a broken heart. It's too cliché to say I have a broken heart.

"But you do," I remind myself as the throbbing and burning in my chest continues.

The truth hurts, but I'm not broken. It takes a lot to break me. I didn't even cry when my grandmother passed away. Why should I be crying now? Why should I have this ache in my chest because of him? All he did was tell me the truth, why should I care?

My chest continues to burn and my eyes sting as the tears threaten to spill over. I shouldn't care about this. There is no such thing as a broken heart. Oh, how I long to be numb right now!

I sit on the ledge near the tiny house where we are staying. Over my shoulder, I see him out of the corner of my eye. My heart screams in pain once more and continues with its burning throbs accompanying the pulsing of my blood. The smile usually transfixed on his face is erased. I want to run to him and comfort him. The truth has hurt us both.

There is no such thing as a broken heart… right?

Looking down in the valley, I survey the twinkling lights of the night. The twinkling increases and my vision blurs. A warm wetness streaks down my cheek. I let it fall to the ground. I'm through with trying to be strong. I fold my arms over my knees and place my forehead against my arms. The throbbing in my chest persists. I can't stop it, no matter how hard I try to ignore it. The truth hurts.

The wind blows softly, and I hear a light footfall behind me. I turn and see him standing there, in the dim glow from the bare bulbs on the outer wall of the little homes set up for our group. I couldn't keep my façade up any longer. More tears streamed down my face and I sub-conciously place a hand over my aching chest.

In the dim light, I was sure I saw a tear falling down his cheek as well.

"I never wanted to hurt you, and I know you never wanted to hurt me."

I guess there is such a thing as a broken heart.

Author's Note: I actually wrote this while on my trip to Guatemala. Somewhat based on the setting there, I really did write this while going through a lot emotionally and looking at the lights in the valley (we were quite literally on a mountain). It's not autobiographical, though. Not in the least. It's just something very random to tide you over until I sit down to write Nightmare Chapter 4. :) Hope you like! -Desi