Exhausted, he let himself dream, something he normally wouldn't do. But with Carrie wrapped safely in his arms and Nick keeping watch, he feels safe enough to let his guard down a little. In his dream, he sees a sea of blood, red, pulsing, and thick with life. He can tell this isn't animal blood or transfusion blood as he some times drank. No. This is fresh, human, and better yet, alive blood, still buzzing with the strains of mortality. His mouth waters uncontrolable and he licks his lips hungrily. No! He commands himself. He shouldn't. But...it looks so inviting. A voice in his head sings softly to him.
Just a little taste Matthew. Its only a dream. What can it hurt in a dream?
The voice sounds so familiar and seductive, like its whispering in his ear. Leaning in, he cups his hands and dips them in. Warmth spreads across them and he can feel the silky smoothness between his fingers, tingling across his skin. The color is so dark, so deep, so true, so...red. Bringing his hands to his lips, he hesitates and then licks his finger. A shiver slides through him as the warm liquid makes its way down his throat. Sooo good. The animal instinct that he had deprived so long comes out, roaring in delight to be free. Suddenly he plunges in head first, surrounding himself in the warm, wet, sticky good drink that he had so long deprived himself of.
Suddenly, he's yanked burtially out of his dream by a strong hand on his shoulder. James. He's just about to growl at his brother when he sees the look of sheer horror on his and Nick's face. Looking down at himself, following their gaze, he finds himself covered in red. Not just any red though. The red from his dream. Blood red. He turns his head and nearly throws up at the site of terror that looks back at him.
"Oh Gods," he whispers. "What have I done?"
Next to him, Carrie lays torn to shreads, her throat nearly gone and her eyes blinking wide in fear. She's staring at him, trying to form words with what's left of her beautiful, mangled face. Something between a gasp and a horse whisper comes from between her sweet rose bud lips.
"Matt...why?"
"Carrie...I...I'm...oh Gods."
Carefully, he cradles her to his chest. There's to much damage to even change her over. Blood oozes from every inch of her skin as she reaches up and brushes a tear away as it slips down his cheek. Nick and James watch in silence as he holds her. She smiles up at him sadly, holding his face in her hand.
"Matt," she whispers, "say you love me."
His voice gets caught in his throat. "Carrie, I...I'm so sorry."
"Say you love me and it'll all be ok, baby."
Kissing her forehead, he fights back the tears and holds her tightly but carefully.
"Carrie, I love you."
She doesn't answer. Looking down, he sees that her eyes are closed and she's very still. Listening closely, he can't hear her heart beating. Looking at Nick and James, he knows his answer. She's dead. Holding her close, he lets the tears go as he cradles her body. He really did love her. And he lost her. Because of his own mistake. Nick and James give him his space for several hours but when the sun sets they say that it's time to go. Nodding, he carries the body to the river with them. Kissing her pale, cold lips, he lets the others throw the body in the icy water after tying weights to her feet. Watching the body sink, he lets the tears freely fall.
"Goodbye Carrie. I love you."
Walking away, he makes himself a promise: he would never let himself fall like that again. He could never hurt another human being or love another. Because there was no other like her and never would be. The sun rose just as they made their way out of town.