Diary Blue

Diary Blue

You could grasp onto a reality as thin as

A sheet of paper, pressed into submission and

Written all over—its life decided before it could be held

Its fate known by anyone who read it

Or a reality as thick as the world

Pure emotions held at the center, wrapped in layers and

Covered with a longing to be held

Surrounded by stars

Or maybe more.

You could jump into the shallow edge of

A sea, revealing all but your ankles

Releasing all but a high level of cowardice

And arrogance

And dedication

Smiling

Because the girl in the deep end, unable to breathe

Unable to open her eyes—and to see

Has no idea what she's missing.

Being judged by your ankles and by your toes

Is what you've always wanted.

You could smile at the sound of a loud non-family

Affiliation, shouting loudly to all of the bright red faces

Reaching up at you with a shiny brass glare

And somehow forget your life otherwise.

You could tear off your shirt, toss it into the wind

Watch it fly with the silk of the flags

One of which

Being held by the girl who'd drowned

Attempting to understand who you really were

Making judgments on your beautiful ankles

Unnoticing

Because the sun in the horns blinds you

Waving your arms toward them, tying to see?

Trying to be a man?

While the girl in your sea gasps for air

Wanting to be seen

And wanting to be your woman.