I push through the landing like I've done many times before, bumping into faceless people as I attempt to free myself from pandemonium. The past few days have been hell. No one will ever understand. No one will ever believe me. My story has been flawed before, but never to this degree. The scars have run too deep, now. There is no return.

Here, I am a loner. Nowhere do I belong, except within myself. That's how it is now… and that is how it will be forever be. Forever remembered, well forgotten, rather. No one can make me turn back, the game's already begun and I don't plan on stopping until this is done. To some, this wouldn't be considered a game, but it is. It's the fabulous game of…well, life. But this life has been nothing but bad. No positives, not a single moment to look forward to. Since the day I could understand and make my own decisions I've made them. Each and every last decision – all mine. Where are we going to eat for dinner tonight? Me, I'm the one whom decided which trashcan to rummage through. I am the parent of the children who conceived me.

Even though the passing period started two minutes ago, I'm still be shoved around. Generally I get pushed further back within the crowd, away from my destination. This in itself is just a part of the game. "Step right up, everybody, try your shot at making it through the vast sea of hate. You have one simple rule, do not touch anyone, or you'll be sent right back to the beginning. But, here's the catch, you're timed!" Oh goody, just what I'm looking forward to. This little task is enough to get my blood pumping. Faster. Faster. I can already feel the rage building up, tingling from the tips of my fingers and moving quickly through my arms before spreading throughout my body like wild fire. Just a few feet away, I catch the eye of a friend. His expression is blank. My head tilts to the side as I try and gauge his expression. It's impossible until I see the barrel of the gun pressing just under his jaw. Frantically, my eyes search the crowd, looking for any familiar face closer to him than I to stop him. With my rage turned to sheer panic, I look back to him. For an instant, I see a bright smile flash over his face, curling the corners of his mouth as a flame eating paper. Just as I open my mouth to scream, the bang echoes in my ears. I thought it was pandemonium before, but now everyone upon the landing ran for their lives, darting from the scene as quick as they could. Now, trying to move to my friend, I'm just a small fish trying to swim against an entire school of them. Bodies bump and shove against me as I push myself through the screams. Stumbling into the clearing of my friend, his face is the only thing I see. The pool of blood under his head, which lay open in a splatter of flesh, begins to grow right before me.

I double over as someone bumps into me from behind. The next thing I know, I'm leaning over him, tears staining my face, dripping to mingle in his blood, the very same blood that's now coating my hands, seeping under my nails. No one is will to take the time to stop and ask. To stop and help. I am in this alone. All is silent now. Sobs rip through me as I look to him. Taking another look around, I reach out and gather the gun in my hand, dangling it by a single finger.

Somehow, I'm kneeling and my weight has drooped down. Now, I realize I was never alone to begin with. He understood me and now he's gone. I have no choice but to join him. And with that, I cock the gun, and press the barrel to my temple, locking my gaze with my former self.