Once upon a time, there was a bunny named Hopper. Hopper loved to hop around the bunny field with all the other bunnies. It was a very happy place. What the bunnies didn't know was that the bunny field was actually an old abandoned military mine field. As they were hopping one bright morning, one bunny accidentally stepped on a mine. KABLAM! The bunny shot into the air and disappeared into the clouds. The other bunnies all stopped and stared. With a high-pitched shriek, the bunny landed back on the ground, hairless, but otherwise okay.
Hopper alone realized what had really happened. Only he recognized the danger. While his bunny friends were giggling over the sight of their bald brother, he sprang into action. With several well-aimed kicks, he knocked his fellow bunnies into the safety of the surrounding woods. Baldy cried in pain when Hopper touched his exposed skin, but the rest took it in stride. Once in the trees they continued their hopping game.
With the bunnies safe for now, Hopper decided to get the problem fixed quickly. The next day, he wrote to his congressman requesting the prompt removal of the landmines. For two weeks he waited while the bunny tribe hopped through the forest, but he didn't get a reply. Then he tried calling the government offices, but was put on hold six different times. At that point, Hopper took matters into his own paws.
He packed a brand-new tie, a few carrots, and some pepper spray (it's a dangerous world) and set off for Capitol Hill. On arriving, he asked the first tourist he saw where he might find the White House. The tourist took a picture and asked if he did birthday parties. Hopper hopped away.
Eventually he found the White House, and entered through the doggie door. The doggie himself was most accommodating. He pointed out the room where the President was entertaining the Prime Minister of Canada. Hopper burst in.
"Mr. President, stop those landmines!" he squeaked. The President dropped his stir-fry shrimp. He seemed to find being yelled at by a rabbit unsettling, but he quickly recovered. He glanced at the Prime Minister, who was sitting frozen with a piece of lasagna halfway to his mouth.
The President nudged the bunny with his foot. "Come on little fella!" he said. "Let's go back outside." Hopper angrily pushed the over-polished Italian loafer away.
"No sir," he said forcefully. "We have a serious situation in the bunny field. You need to get rid of the mines, and you need to do it now."
The President chuckled loudly and looked back at the Prime Minister, who was watching the proceedings with interest (his lasagna was back on his plate.) He turned back to Hopper. "Look," he muttered. "I don't know why I'm talking to a rodent, but I have better things to do." He gave a last, hard nudge the forced Hopper out the door. The Prime Minister intervened.
"Give 'im a break, eh," he said. "Little bun's just trying to protect his home." He picked Hopper out of the doorway and set him on the table. "Now, eh, why don't you start from the beginning and we'll see what we can do, eh."
Hopper told the two leaders all about the field and the danger lurking beneath. He recounted what had happened to poor Baldy. The Prime Minister listened sympathetically, but the President just rolled his eyes.
"Like I said, I have more important things to worry about than bald bunnies." With that he moved to pick up Hopper and have him escorted from the premises, but the Minister held up his hand.
"Now wait just a minute, eh," he scolded. "This poor little creature hops all the way down here for your help, and you just get rid of 'im?" He smiled fondly at Hopper and stroked the top of his head. "This little guy has a home and an extensive family in danger, and needs the help of his President, eh. You're gonna go send someone to dig up those mines, eh, or else."
Mr. President was shocked. "Or else what?"
The Prime Minister grinned. "Or else… we'll invade ya!"
The President laughed so hard he nearly fell out of his chair. Both the Minister and Hopper were perturbed. "You're going to…a-attack…us!?" the President gasped. "With…what army?"
The Prime Minister smirked. " The army of virtually invincible, man-eating polar bears we've been breeding just for a situation like this, eh." He pulled out his cell phone and waggled it at his opposite.
Fear spread slowly across the face of the President as he comprehended an army of hungry polar bears running at him. In a voice now shaking with terror instead of laughter, he ordered the Chief General to go and dig up the mines in the bunny field immediately. After that he collapsed, waking up hours later in his own bed. He lay there for a few minutes, but then dismissed the whole episode as a freaky dream.
Hopper and the Prime Minister chatted while the President was carried out of the room. It turned out they had a lot in common, including a thing for spinach, a love of Korean game shows, a hatred of gravity, and questions concerning the morality of eating cookies.
Finally, the call came through that the landmines had been removed, and Hopper went home with a piqued interest in politics. Maybe he would visit Washington DC again sometime. Right now though, it was good to be home. The field was safe, and Hopper was a hero. After a huge celebratory feast of carrots, celery, and spinach (of course,) the bunnies went back to hopping. And hopping. And hopping.