"… I looked at the bed and thought "Oh my God, I could have died in there," and that's how I would have been found. And then from one second looking horrible it suddenly transformed itself into something removed from me, … something beautiful." -Tracey Emin, talking about the inspiration for the artwork 'My Bed.'
from inside my bed the world looks different
far away and dismissed like a bad dream
to the kitchen is a lethal trek for water
but upon returning, with that hungover clarity
i see it not like some sort of tent or tunnel
that you could truly be inside at all, but just
some boards on legs comforted by assorted fabric-
the Tweenies pattern isn't post-ironic, it was just here
inside that cupboard when we moved into the flat-
surrounded by the precious jewels and junk that stick to people
as they move their way along throughout their lives:
my wine- stained bedside cabinet's overflowing
with makeshift ashtrays full of Polish cigarettes,
single earrings, contact lenses, and Elliott Smith cassettes
that i recorded, going retro, last year when my walkman died
the green plastic monster truck we found out past Portobello
dirt encrusted in the shadow of a burnt out caravan wreck
and one single flower in an empty whisky bottle-
i'm not the sort of girl who always keeps a vase in case-
and on the floor beside it, on the carpet that was new,
clean, "biscuit beige in mint condition" when we got here
are piles of paperback books which altogether add up
to an education or just a fine i can't afford upon returning
Joyce, Dunbar et al to their rightful homes on library shelves
then there's last night's clothes and condoms, i slept naked-
and, from about half- past five, alone – a broken sparkly eye mask
Xtra-strength painkillers, and a children's jewellery kit
with letters which i use to wear my heart upon my sleeve
yawning, i dismiss objective vision, crawling back inside
the hollow for my body, smelling of me and someone else.