My pain rides with me in my chest

Its sharp little claws digging into my heart

And it's wicked mouth whispering

All the memories of happiness in my ear


I have to learn to wear a smile

These people surrounding me can never know

They would not understand

This pain is my own


I sit, listless and empty.

No letters will come from her again

It has been confirmed, they say,

She will not return.

Their word means nothing


Late at night I am unable to sleep

And instead write long letters of love

That never get sent

Or see the light of day

They all end up in ashes

Curling into black dust


I have sorted through the memories

That are left of my friend

It leaves me raw and aching

But it will heal over again

I relive all the times of happiness and joy and mirth

We shared

There were so many


Now when I think of her I can risk a smile

That I know will be real

The tears for now are kept at bay

But I know the pain in my chest is not gone

It is still there waiting,

Waiting 'til I'm asleep and dreaming of her

Its claws are still waiting, next to my heart

To snag it again