87No big deal. So what if I Love You?
Chapter XIV New Found Hope?
LARA'S P.O.V
Dinner that night was…different.
There was this sort of thick tension that hung over everyone at the dinner table.
I don't know about you but I'm confused. Why, you may ask? Well I'll tell you…
Reason (A) when Greg walked back into the dining room, his shoulders were slumped and he had a grim expression on his face. (B) Out of nowhere, he pulls me into a hug, which I'm usually used to but then he started to whisper things like, 'I love you', 'are you okay?' and the like. And finally (C) He started to yell at me for no reason!
Although he basically screamed in my face, I still didn't know what was wrong with him, but it scared me to death. He never acted like that; especially when he was happy one minute ago and sad the next.
As if things couldn't get any worse, both of our parents as well as Tony's parents, walked in with the same look Greg had.
Now that totally freaked me out.
Christie, Ashley, and Tony must've noticed something was wrong too because they looked confused just like I was.
My mother and ma looked like had been crying and my dad and pops looked distressed.
Their mood even made Emily quiet, which was another weird thing because nothing could ever make her mood drop that fast…
-Flash back-
I was just about to hit Tony in the head again when Greg walked back into the dining room.
Me being his twin and all, I kinda have a sixth sense; you know how when one twin's mood is, the other twin can feel what they're feeling?
Yeah, it's like that.
Before I could say anything, Greg pulled on my arm and slammed me into his chest. Next thing I know, he's squeezing the air out of me in a tight gripping hug.
What the hell?!
Don't get me wrong, I'm used to being hugged unexpectedly but this was a different type of hug...it felt like he was afraid to let me go; as if he knew something bad was going to happen to me…or him.
I tried to pull away but he tightened his grip.
"You know I love you right?" he whispered loud enough for me to hear.
I nodded my head in reply.
"Are you okay? Is there anything you need to tell me?" he asked.
Um…what?
I quickly pushed myself from him and looked at him warily, "I'm fine."
"Are you sure…that there's nothing you need to tell me?" he asked again.
"No," I said slowly, "Is there something that I should be telling you?"
Greg blew out a breath, looking almost…relieved?
Okay, now I'm starting to worry about him! What does he look relieved for? Is he hiding something from me?! Oh my gosh, what did he do—
"Lara!" he shouted, causing me to stop the ranting I was doing in my head and focus my attention on him.
"Were you even listening to me?!" he yelled as I involuntarily shrunk back from him.
He never yells at me like that. I'll admit that he gets impatient with me from time to time but he never used so much anger and rage when he would yell at me.
I took another step back and his eyes softened, "You know you can tell me anything right? I mean anything."
What is he implying?
"God Greg, I'm fine! Geez, you act as if I'm going to die or something!"
Right when I said that, his eyes grew wide and his mouth formed into a frown; he had that grim look on his face again.
"Greg?" I took baby steps towards him.
Before I could get any closer, he spoke, "Lara, what's wrong with you?!"
"What do you mean, what's wrong with me? What's wrong with you?"
"I thought we didn't keep secrets from each other!"
I looked at him taken back.
We don't…
"I'm not keeping anything from you!"
There's nothing for me to keep from him. He knows me better than I know myself! I can't believe he would even accuse me of keeping a secret from him even though we swore to each other that we never would!
"You're hiding something from me when you know that can tell me anything! Does the pact we took mean nothing to you? Huh?!" he was angry now. No scratch that…he was furious. His eyes shown a mixture of rage and hurt in them and his nostrils were flaring.
I was offended to think that my own brother, who just happens to be my twin, thinks that I didn't take that pact seriously!
As you know, our parents were always away when Greg and I were still little. We realized that since they weren't going to be around too often, we were all we had.
Weird as that may sound, I'll put it simple: Greg was the only real family I had and vice versa. Sure we had ma and pops as well as our friends, but they weren't bound to us by blood.
Ever since then, Greg and I made a pact; we would always be there for each other no matter the where, when, or why's of the situation and we'd always tell each other everything...good and bad.
I walked up to him without even thinking and began to poke him in his chest.
I know what you're thinking but hey, if my punches and slaps hurt him, then my poking could do some serious damage.
"F.Y.I douche bag," I said while I was still poking him, "I've kept nothing from you since that day! How can you even say that it means nothing to me?! If anyone's going to be pointing fingers as of who to blame for not keeping their promises, it's you!"
Greg rolled his eyes, "I've never kept anything from you!"
"Yeah! Well, what about that one time you lied to me?!"
"Which was?" he scoffed.
My eyes grew wide without my permission, "Uh—"
"Ha! See you don't even know what you're talking about!" he said triumphantly.
Damn, he's right!
No way am I gonna back out of it now…I'm stubborn, I know.
"You know very well what it was!" I yelled back at him.
"What is with you two?! What happened to the go-lucky, buddy crap?" Tony butted in.
Apparently, Greg and I were so caught up in our argument—which he started by the way—that we forgot about the other's that were in the room.
Greg opened his mouth but closed it again once our parents walked in the room.
-End of flash back-
I still can't believe that he blew up on me like that! And I don't even know what I did wrong. He, however, kept asking me if I needed to tell him anything, which made me yell in his face repeatedly.
So as of now, he's ignoring me, which is fine by me. That way, I won't have to keep answering his annoying questions that he already knows the answer to.
I wonder how long he'll be mad at me…
Another bad thing happened; apparently Ashley's parents had to leave due to a 'business emergency'. At first I was happy; I was thinking that they would take their devil offspring with them but nooo…they left and she stayed.
Right now, we were all in the living room watching TV. Christie was trying to talk some sense into Greg as well as try to figure out what was wrong with him. Tony and I were fighting over the remote—which I won by the way thanks to Ashley, who kept trying to feel him up.
Ha! Serves him right
Hmm…what to watch? Oh! The cooking channel! Now what channel was that on…?
I pressed the number 68 quickly and saw Paula Dean making a mud pie.
I so wish I could just reach into the television screen.
"Hey! I don't want to watch this crap!" Tony had managed to finally get Ashley off of him.
"It wasn't like you were watching the TV anyways!" I yelled back at him as I turned the volume up.
He scoffed while getting up to sit on the other side of me, snatching the remote from my hands in the process, "Not like I could when someone kept touching me!" he whispered hoarsely.
"Hey!"
"Yell all you want, I'm not watching this crap."
Tony plopped down on the couch and flicked through the channels until a basketball came on.
"Idiot." I whispered
He threw a pillow at me to shut me up, hitting me square in the face.
That does it!
Before he could laugh, I tackled him on the couch, knocking the remote out of his hands.
"Get off of me!" He tried to kick me but I quickly moved out of the way.
I was about to choke him when he punched me in my arm making me fall off of the couch.
I grabbed his collar, taking him down with me, "You're such a jerk!"
He rolled his eyes while he was trying to hold my hands above my head, "You started it!"
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
Luckily, he was more focused on my hands that he forgot about my legs; I started to twist and turn, hoping to wiggle free from his hold.
What's an easy way to catch a guy off guard…?
I could (A) spit in his face, but that's rude and nasty so that's out of the question. (B) What if I promised to clean his room for the rest of the trip? Pfftt, as if. (C) Threaten to tell Ashley the truth…maybe if she didn't dislike me so much, we could actually be real good friends? Ahahahaha! Yeah right. Or (D) Kiss him. That'll definitely catch him off guard…but that's also gross.
I guess my only option is C and D…eh, I choose D. I'll just make it look like I'm about to kiss him but I actually wont. Brilliant, Lara!
God I'm smart, hehe
I stopped struggling, making Tony smile in triumph, "I won!" he said, slightly out of breath.
I slowly looked at him with a seductive smile, "Yeah, you did."
He looked shocked at first as he raised his eyebrow slightly, "Uh—what?"
His grip on my hands loosened as I slowly brought my head up to meet his, "You won." I whispered softly in his ear while I gently dragged my nose to his.
Don't think that I'm into this, because I'm not. Although I may look as if I want something from him (gross), I was thinking 'EW EW Ew' the whole time, I swear.
I was looking him in the eyes as I slowly started to close my own. Seeing him close his as well made me smile inwardly.
Gotcha!
Before our lips could touch, I grinned my favorite evil grin as I flipped him over so that I was on top straddling his hips while he was on the bottom looking shocked and helpless.
"I AM THE CHAMPION!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.
He narrowed his eyes in a playful matter as he realized what I did, "I can't believe you!" he got up so quickly that it knocked me back onto my butt.
I stood up on my feet as well, "I had you going didn't I?" I said smugly.
In response, he picked me up and threw me on the couch, "What was that for?!" I yelled at him as I got up yet again.
He folded his arms over his chest, "Leading me on."
I rolled my eyes as I hit him in the head.
"Ow!" Tony glared at me before he hit me on the head as well.
I gasped at him, hitting him in the same place yet again.
He hit me back, "Quit!"
"You quit!" I smacked him back.
We kept hitting each other back and forth; each of us wanting to have the last hit.
As the seconds flew by, the hitting became harder and harder, "Stop!" I yelled at him.
Hit
"Ow! You started it!"
Hit
"So?!"
Hit
"I'm gonna tell!"
Hit
I rolled my eyes, "Tattle tale!"
Hit
"Piggy!
Hit
"Mama's boy!"
Hit
Tony gasped, "Take that back!"
Hit
"No—"
"Knock it off!" Greg yelled.
"He started it!"
"She started it!" Tony and I shouted at the same time while pointing at each other.
Greg rolled his eyes and turned back to the TV, "I don't care who started it, just shut up! God, you two act so immature, it's annoying!"
What's up his ass?
Tony smacked me in the head when Greg wasn't looking. I turned to glare at him; making him smirk.
I was about to hit him back when Greg turned around, catching me in mid-swing.
His eyes narrowed into slits, "What did I just say?!"
"He hit me when you weren't looking—"
"I-DON'T-CARE!"
I, of course, was taken back. I mean, where did all this sudden anger come from?! Sure, he's still mad at me but that doesn't give him the right to have a nasty attitude towards me.
I opened my mouth to give him a piece of my mind when our dad walked into the room, looking as grim as ever.
"Family room. Now." He said then turned back around.
Usually Greg and I would exchange glances, but since he wants to act like a jerk, I looked towards Christie.
She shrugged as she got up and grabbed Greg's wrist, indicating him to follow her. I glared at him as he walked by, which he seemed to notice.
"What's with you? Why are you being so mean to Lara?" I heard her whisper to him as they left the room.
Thankfully, Ashley had already left the room. Tony grabbed a hold of my hand, interlacing our fingers together.
I looked at him like he was stupid, "Let go."
He shook his head while we walked towards the family room, "Not gonna happen…babe."
I cringed at the end of his sentence, warily casting a look towards him to see a smug look on his face.
Ugh! He called me that on purpose!
I allowed him to keep my hand in his as I whispered, "I really do hate you."
"Aw, I love you too." He chuckled.
I shuddered, trying to ignore what he said, "Do you know what this is about?"
He shrugged his shoulders in reply, "No clue."
We slowly entered the family room to see everyone looking down sadly except for Ashley and Christie, who just like me, were confused with what was going on.
I looked around the room where a thick cloud of uncomfortable tension loomed above us; everyone was here except for Emily.
She's probably asleep
Tony and I made our way to the open space on the sofa and sat down.
You could tell everyone (except the adults) were anxious to hear what had to be said as we waited impatiently for someone to speak.
"What are we here for?" Christie asked quietly.
It had been silent for what felt like 25 minutes when Christie spoke that it made some of us jump in surprise; it was as if everyone forgot that there was other people in the room because they were off thinking in their own little world.
Once again, silence followed. At the corner of my eye I saw Greg who kept looking at me numerous times.
Since no one was talking and Greg was still staring at me, I decided to take a risk and glance at him.
I turned my head towards him, which made me gasp silently. I expected to see anger in those dark brown eyes of his but instead; I saw sadness and what looked like…despair?
Is he feeling sorry for yelling at me?
I kept staring at him; the question I was thinking must've shown in my eyes. He shook his head slightly before looking down. He looked up again and stared at me with his now watery eyes.
All too soon, ma began to speak, "Kids?" she asked, trying to get our attention.
Greg was still staring at me while I slowly tried to take my eyes off of him and focus my attention to ma.
As I turned my head, I saw that she was holding pops' hand; her knuckles turning white as she held his in a death grip.
I averted my gaze to my parents and saw that my mom's eyes were puffy and bloodshot red as my dad held onto her. He too, looked like he had been crying.
Ma spoke again, her voice cracking with every word she said, "There's something going on that…that you all need to know." She looked like she was on the verge of tears again.
"Lara made me do it!" Tony yelled playfully.
I threw him a glare while he shrugged and smiled. I rolled my eyes as ma continued, "There's something wr-wrong."
Tony's face automatically turned serious; his back was straight and his face hardened, "What's wrong?"
Ma didn't answer; instead she turned to look at pops who nodded his head towards his wife to encourage her to continue.
She took a deep breath, "It's…oh God, I can't do this!"
Ma turned to pops and began to sob into his chest. He held her there in his arms, rocking her back and forth while making soothing noises.
I looked towards Tony whose face was still hard as stone. I could see the confusion and helplessness in his eyes. He was gripping his hands together so tightly that his whole fist was slowly turning white.
Just by looking at him, I could tell that he felt bad for whatever was going on; he didn't like to see his family in pain. Knowing him, I'm sure he feels useless because (1) he doesn't know what's going on and (2) he can't do anything to help.
I hesitantly placed my hand over his, hoping to let off some of the anxiety he was building up. He didn't even bother to look at me; his eyes stared down to his lap as he looked at my right hand on top of his. I squeezed it lightly to assure him that everything will be fine, even if my gut is telling me otherwise.
He nodded his head in understanding. Tony let out a breath as he allowed the tense muscles in his face to relax.
I noticed that ma's crying had ceased once I turned my attention back to them.
"I don't know how to come about this, so I'm just going to say it straight out…" Pops strong voice boomed throughout the room, "Emily is sick."
Tony's face contorted back into a stone, "How sick?"
Pops took a gulp. He was trying to be strong; trying not to cry in front of us but it was no use. He didn't even have to say how or why because we all knew that Emily was more than just 'sick'.
He took a deep breath and blew it out, "She has cancer." He said as a tear rolled down his cheek.
Everyone in the room gasped. I felt Tony's hand re-clench as his body shook.
Freshly made tears poured down everyone's face.
How can Emily have cancer? She doesn't even look sick! I wonder if she knows…
My mom was the next to talk, "It'll be okay though." Her voice trembled as she silently cried; it sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than she was with us.
Pops nodded his head, "We obviously have more than enough money and in this case, I won't settle for anything less but the best doctors around to help fight this battle," he paused to inhale a shaky breath, "but if we're going to get through this, we have to fight together as a family. And don't think that I don't mean it; Emily needs us now more than ever and we all have to pull through for her. God knows she's a tough little girl with a strong spirit that can't easily be broken; even so, she can't get through this alone. If she can be tough enough to fight it than she needs a family who can be strong enough as well." He said with the powerfulness and authority back in his voice.
Everyone took his words in and shook their heads to show that they understood. Even if pops was trying to be the rock for all of us, he was dying on the inside.
"Does she know?" Greg asked quietly.
Ma's eyes were still overflowing with tears, "I think she knew before we found out." She said in a joking matter, trying to lighten up the mood.
Despite the situation, I cracked a smile as well as others in the room, "She's a smart cookie." I said to myself but it was loud enough to be heard.
Christie laughed without a trace of humor, "There's no way she won't break through this."
"And I expect neither of you will." Pops announced.
Everyone shook their heads in agreement, determined to overcome this tragedy that struck us unexpectedly.
We're going to fight this battle and when we do…we'll win it.
The tension was taking it's time in disappearing but it was…slowly but surely. Although everyone seemed to be a bit relaxed about the situation, the thought of it was still in our minds.
"How bad is it?" Tony asked.
I looked at him and saw how helpless and sad he was. He must be the one who's suffering the most; he is after all, Emily's older brother. I don't think any of us could handle losing her…especially Tony. He'd be terribly depressed and hollow on the inside if anything were to happen to her.
My dad spoke up this time, "Well, that's actually good news."
Tony and I snapped our heads in his direction. He saw the confusion in our expressions so he continued to explain, "Although she does have cancer, we were lucky enough to catch it while it was early."
"So that's…good?" Tony asked skeptically.
My dad nodded, "Well…in a way—"
"In a way? Are you fucking kidding me?! My little sister has cancer!" By this time, Tony stood up from his seat; yelling at the top of his lungs.
Whoa! Did Tony just cuss? In front of both of the adults?! Holy crap…
"You will not use that kind of language in this house young man!" ma cried out.
Tony rolled his eyes, "News flash! Emily—your daughter and my little sister—has a fucking disease that can kill her! Yet, here you all are, just sitting around acting like it's the fucking chicken pox!"
"YOU DO NOT TALK LIKE THAT TO YOUR MOTHER!" pops bellowed out as he made his way over to Tony; staring him down, challenging him to speak out again.
"Stop being so damn selfish! There are other people in this room that loves Emily just as much as you do and if you think that you're the only one that is having a tough time dealing with this than you can GET THE HELL OUT!" pops finished.
I can honestly say that I almost pooped in my pants. Yeah, I know what you're thinking; that's gross or what the hell?
Sure it's gross but you have to understand, I never and I mean never, seen pops blow up like that—ever. All the years I've known him, he was always in a jolly mood; even if he was mad.
Pops' breathing was ragged as he continued to stare at his son; it seemed like he was literally shaking with rage. Tony, being the stubborn person he is (which he got from pops), remained silent but kept his glare strong on his father.
Tony may have crossed the line but at least he knew when to quit…
"That's what I thought," pops stepped back but his eyes still held that fierce look, "Now sit your ass down and listen." He said as he turned around and made his way back to ma.
Tony's glare never faltered, "I—"
Pops quickly turned around; a now deadly look in his eyes, "I DIDN'T ASK FOR YOUR OPINION!"
"But I—"
"NO, YOU ARE DONE TALKING!" pops growled, "Now sit-your-ass-down." He said slowly as he clenched his jaw.
Tony huffed and puffed as he plopped back onto the sofa.
Pops collapsed into his seat next to ma, letting out a big sigh as he began to massage his temples. She reached over to him and started to rub his back in a circular motion.
I think it's safe to say that everyone was s-h-o-c-k-e-d. Judging by the look on his face, I don't think my dad had ever seen pops blow up like that.
Remember that cloud of tension I was talking about? Yeah, there's about 340583908 new one's that just appeared.
Ma opened her mouth to say something but pops silenced her by holding up his hand, "No. No one is allowed to talk, ask questions, see, or even breathe anymore." He stood up, offering his hand to ma as she got up as well, "Open your ears and listen—yes, Emily has cancer, however, we were lucky enough to find it early. Since the cancer was detected before any real damage was done, it'll be easier to overcome now. Granted that it can be deadly, it would've been more fatal if we didn't know about it now."
Christie nodded her head in agreement, "Since they found the problem out early, then that must mean that the cancer is still at a young stage—"
Greg cut in, "—meaning that it hasn't fully developed yet nor has it had the chance to spread throughout the body or the bones—"
"Right, because now that we know it's there, we have more treatments and other possible options to try out." I intervened
Christie smiled slightly, "So there's—"
"Hope." Tony looked at pops who shook his head slightly.
I heard Tony let out a breath of relief.
Now it's starting to make sense. It's horrible that Emily has cancer but there was some good news to the situation...even if the chance was slim—very slim. Everyone knows that cancer is a serious thing to deal with but with this new found hope, Emily's percent of survival is higher than what it could've been.
"Exactly. We should be grateful that we know all the information we know now because we have a better chance in her survival. I'm not going to lie to you…it's going to be a long and painful process; cancer isn't an easy thing to beat. You'll cry more each day, things may not go as planned, you may even feel like quitting but either way we will beat this—we have to. "
Once again, everyone nodded their heads. I think reality had finally seeped into everyone's mind; we all realized that this wasn't some kind of sick joke the adults were playing on us. Emily wasn't going to jump out from behind the couch any time soon and start to shout and laugh at how stupid we were to actually believe that it was true—no matter how much I wished she would. No, this wasn't a dream. It was real. Unbelievably real…and it sucked.
"I can't believe this." Tony announced as he got up and stormed out of the room.
Ma started to go after him but pops held her back, "Let him be." He told her gently.
Ma, on the other hand, looked like she was fighting an internal battle with herself. Her eyes finally dropped as her head hung low; she nodded her head as she embraced pops.
"I think that we've all had enough of this for today." My mom said as she grabbed my dad's hands and started to lead him out of the room.
"Try to get some sleep tonight kids…you're going to need all the energy you can get. Goodnight." My dad said softly.
"Goodnight." Ma said to all of us as my parents left the room.
Pops slowly walked behind her, "As hard as it is, you have to try to stay positive. Even if you've lost all hope—you've got to stay positive. If you feel as if you want to give up…don't. If you can't get through this for yourselves—do it for Emily. Please." He said desperately.
I'll never quit. Yeah, it'll be hard but I'll be damned if I give up…even if all hope is lost
Ashley, Christie, Greg, and I were the only ones left in the room. Ashley quietly excused herself and bid her goodnights before she left.
Greg must've said something to Christie because she gave him a worried look as she kissed his cheek, "Goodnight Lara." She came over to give me a hug.
"Night." I hugged her back. Once she was gone, only Greg and I were left…talk about awkward.
After what just happened tonight…I didn't have any more energy to be mad at him.
I decided to break the ice and hopefully release some of the tension, "I'm sorry."
"Let me explain." He said at the same time.
Greg smiled at me as he sat back down on the couch. He patted the spot next to him, "I need to talk to you about something."
I shook my head as I made my way towards him. As I sat down, I noticed that Greg was trying to avoid eye contact; he looked at everything but me.
"First of all…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have treated you the way I did and for that I'm sorry."
"What was with you today? I mean, you yelled at me for no reason. If you're going to be mad at me—at least have a reason…a good reason."
He sucked in air through his teeth, "Here's the thing—remember when I thought I left my phone up stairs last night? And then I went up to get it?"
"Yeah, but what does that have anything to do wi—"
"Well you see…as I was on my way up stairs…I kinda overheard ma and pops talking to our parents."
I think I know where he's going with this…
"About what?" I asked him warily.
"Cancer…?"
Bingo!
"That's why you practically chewed my ass off!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.
"I'm sorry! I shouldn't have acted the way I did without asking you about it first and I know that now but I freaked, okay?!"
"You freaked?! You treated me like shit for no fucking reason!"
"I heard the words cancer and she, and I lost it! I knew it wasn't Ashley or Christie so that only led to one person! I automatically thought it was you!"
"That doesn't justify the way you reacted! And even if I was the one they were talking about, why the hell would you think that making me feel horrible was the way to go about it?!" I yelled back at him.
"Because they said that 'she may have already known'! So I thought that you knew you had it and I assumed that you didn't tell me! We all know how forgetful you can be!" he said sarcastically.
Oh, real mature!
"You thought wrong! But you know what?! Hypothetically, let's say that I did have cancer and I knew about it…why the hell would you treat me like that if I was really in that situation?!"
"Because!"
"Because what Greg?!"
He tore his gaze away from me as he started to pace back and forth, "I was scared okay?"
I just stood there; staring at him.
When I didn't make a comment, he continued, "I was scared that you were sick—I was beating myself up because I couldn't do anything to help you…hell, I didn't even know something was wrong with you!"
"Gee, thanks." I rolled my eyes.
I know I shouldn't be so mean to him but sometimes I just can't help it…
"You don't understand…I felt so useless and hurt. It was like I already lost you and I couldn't—I didn't do anything to help you."
"Greg it's—"
"I know what you're about to say and your wrong. Lara, I am your big brother—even if it is by a couple of minutes—I'm still your big brother…I'm supposed to protect you from any and everything and I couldn't even do that!"
"So—"
"NO LARA! It's not okay! If something were to happen to you, regardless of what it is, it'd be my fault!"
"God, will you stop interrupting me and let me speak!" I shouted at him while placing my hands on my hips.
"No matter what you say—"
"No Greg," I cut him off, "whatever mistakes or faults I make, it'll be because of me. My decisions…not yours. Believe it or not, you can't shield me from every damn thing all of the fucking time! People are meant to make mistakes and get hurt. That's why we are forced to decide what decisions are good and what decisions are bad."
"Hypothetically, if you did have cancer, I'm sure you didn't decide that it was what you wanted."
"Ugh! Greg, you're not listening to me! No matter how much you keep an eye on me and no matter how hard you try to protect me, you can't prevent something that you have absolutely no control over!"
"If your try to convince me with that bullshit, it's not working!"
"It's not bullshit! It's the truth and you know it!"
Why is he being so difficult? Can't he just understand what I'm trying to say…?
"You don't know what the fuck I've been through for the past few hours so don't try to act like you do!"
Luckily, I have enough self-control because I was about to slap him, "What—"
"You still don't get it! I thought you were going to die, Lara! You know, die? As in dead, gone forever, stuck six feet under! Do you know what it feels like to know that sooner or later, the person you love the most, won't be there with you? Ever?! Just thinking about you—in a coffin…nailed shut—I couldn't take that. Knowing that you'd be gone in a matter of time…never seeing you again...do you know how that feels?!"
He took another breath before going on, "it was eating at me. It was just gnawing at me and it wouldn't go away…I just—I don't know what I would've done if I lost you. If you were to actually—God…you're my life Lara…if you died…I would've died too…"
He looked at me, tears brimming in his eyes. I took a step towards him as he stood there, looking at me with sorrowful eyes.
"I'm sorry okay? I just overreacted…I thought you knew—and you didn't tell me…I got mad—" Greg whispered. He was crying now, which made me cry too.
I lunged at him before I took him into a bear tight hug, "It's okay." I said softly.
At least now I kind of understand why he did what he did. Although I'm not excusing his behavior towards me…I guess I would've acted the same way if I was in his position.
If this is how Greg handled the situation—God only knows how Tony's going to take it…
AUTHOR'S NOTE (prepare to read my rambling…)
WARNING: FEEL FREE TO EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS…AS I'M SURE, SOME OF YOU ARE READY TO YELL…HEHE
First things first…I sent a sneak peek to all who reviewed except to windybidindy. I am sooo sorry! I tried to send it to you but it wouldn't let me. HOWEVER…since you didn't get the sneak peek, if you send me your email address, I am willing to send YOU [and only you] a longer sneak peak of chapter 15 than what the other reviewers will get since you didn't get the preview for this chapter…but only if you want it.
Secondly…I know the preview I sent you guys was a bit confusing and hopefully you understand the chapter better now that you've read it! The preview might've sucked [I'll admit that] but I didn't want to put too much information and give the whole chapter away! The next preview will be better and longer, I promise!
This chapter had A LOT of cussing…hehe. ANYWAYS! You've finally know who the one with cancer is…shocked? Yeah, I don't think most of you are because a lot of you might've already guessed that Emily was the one who had it. I'll admit that I was tearing up a bit when I was writing this chapter but it had to be done.
I know you guys must hate me for doing that to little Emily but trust me on this! I already know what's going to happen [well duh because I'm the writer…] anywho, I was going to make this chapter longer but I decided against it because the next chapter, I want the main focus to be on Tony's outlook on things so that way, you guys get a feel of what he's going through…
SPECIAL THANKS!
Windybidindy- I glad you like it! That makes me happy to hear it…and once again I am so sorry that you didn't get the preview for this chappie! I don't know why it wouldn't let me send it to you…I hope you read the 1st part of the author's note [it was addressed to you] and so remember to send your email to me if you want the preview of the Ch. 15[which you'll have an extended preview that no one else will have since you didn't get the last one…] thanks again for the review!
OrangeNinjaJellyfish- I hate cliffhangers too but I just had to do it! Hehe…I'd love to know what you thought of this one and hopefully it didn't take too long to update. Thanks for the review!
VampPorn- wow...over 1000 words in this review hehe. And yes, that last chapter was EXTREMELY long! =] you really are one smart cookie! A lot of people seemed to be confused at the beginning of the last chapter but luckily all of you realized that it was just a dream. Ugh, my 'huh' face is weird looking too…I may need to try different expressions for it until I find the 'cute' looking one but that may never happen…now on to your review…(1) I think you may be right about the soundproof walls. Something may or may not happen with that. You, suspicious? Yeah, you probably should be hehe. We'll never know what could happen…or will we? (2) oh my gosh, I love pancakes! I was so tempted to stop writing when I wrote about it in the last chapter so that I could go make me some but I resisted… (3) Tony's towel fetish is a bit weird…he may just end up naked in one of the chapters…bwahahahaha! (4) ha! Your not the only one who said the 'text speak' out loud. Hehe, I had to say it too just to make sure of what it sounded like but I got confused which is bad for me since I'm the one writing it but I'm glad you got it! Even if it was confusing…(5)yes! I finally put sam and ryan together…now the only ones left in group that are single is Tony and Lara…or is it? I'm probably making your brain go into overboard right now with all these 'suspicious' questions. But then again I like the ideas you come up with so think away! (6) OMG! I totally am evil! Your going to completely tear my head off for making Emily the one with the cancer. I don't think it shocked you because you might have seen it coming before anyone else…but don't worry! I've got it all planned out… (7)and yes I do love you all! Hehe…just to let you know, I've posted this while I was at school! (8) just a heads up…I'll be using one [or more] of your ideas in an upcoming chapter. It may or may not be chapter 15…I'm still deciding if I want to wait and use it…(9)will they share a room? Hmmmm…..maybe , maybe not?...(10) I love your reviews! Hehe. I'd like to thank you for being honest and telling me what you thought of the story [whether good or bad] because it helps me to better develop and write the next chapter even more 'awesome-er' than the last! Feel free to write whatever! And I'm glad that you still like my story! I'm sure you'll like the next one after this one is done…I'll probably put the details in the next author's note in chapter 15! I hope you liked the sneak peak even if it was probably confusing. Thanks for the review, as always!
xLoveToSmilex- aww that is so sweet! I appreciate it soo much! I'm glad that you like it! Thanks for the review!
StellaBella Heart- I know! I promise to never update that late again! I'm glad your still reading the story though!
TheUnknownChick- yes! There will be a lot of Ryan to come! I'm glad you liked the last chapter…when I was proofreading it, I was laughing too! Hehe…I'm sure you'll like my new story [I hope] but this one has a long way to go so yay! More ryan! Haha…thanks for the review! They make me happy =]
Kindly Unspoken- thanks for the review! And yes, It seems that a lot of people were confused with the dream. But don't worry, I'd never jump ahead from one point to another because then, you guys would never know what happened in between. Thanks for the review!
KimStories2- I know, I know…it's horrible that this happened but not to worry! I have it all under control. Hopefully this chapter made you un-confused about what's going on…haha yeah, a lot of people were very confused by the dream in chapter 13…ugh, I soo wish I had that brother with the hot best friend and chef dad too! How sad that it's not true for me either…good to know that you were laughing a whole lot! Hehe…im going to try and put ryan in the next chapter since he wasn't in this one…he could be like a comic relief with all the headache going on now…thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed the sneak peak…which I understand if it was confusing! The next preview will be better and longer I promise!.
Alexia-pink0303- oh no! you've figured it out that Emily was the one with the cancer…sorry for the long wait, I know the suspense of it all was a lot. Thanks for the review! I'd love to know what you thought of what happened!
Dreahx- thanks for the review! And thank you sooo much! It makes me really happy and all smiles to know that you think this story is amazing! Hehe…it helps keep me motivated.
THANKS AGAIN AND DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!
Queen-lala