5My eyes are open wide
and by the way, I made it
through the day
I watched the world outside
By the way, I'm leaving out
today
It wasn't the smartest way to do it. He should really just wait till he got home and do it quietly and quickly undisturbed. But he just had his heartbroken and he wanted to die now, not later. So he was standing in the middle of the road waiting for a car to knock him over, he can see one speeding along on its way and he can't wait.
"What are you doing?" one of his friends is screaming "get out of the road you moron!"
The car was getting closer and most of his friends were screaming and begging him to just get out of the road. Suddenly he was pushed to one side and he can hear the car brakes squealing and someone screaming.
He wasn't dead.
Bugger.
He slowly got up and took in the sight before him; the driver was calling an ambulance, his friend Anna was kneeling besides someone crying. Someone had pushed him out of the way got hit instead. Anna moved out of the way and he saw Hayley lying there. Fuck Hayley pushed him out of the way and got hit herself, that stupid hero complex cow.
Everything happened in a blur, Hayley got bundled into an ambulance, while he went through a full check up (nothing wrong except he's suicidal. He doesn't even have a bruise on him). He spent a few hours everyday in the hospital just checking in on Hayley's family and seeing what was happening.
She had gone through the total of five surgeries and she's still in a coma. However she was now allowed visitors. He stood there at the foot of her bed taking the sight of her in. her brown hair fell on her pillow in limp greasy lumps, her skin was so sickly white that you can see some of her veins and god she looked so small and childlike.
"Wake up Hales" he whispered "please wake up" But she didn't. He strolled towards the window of her room and opened it. "If you don't wake up I'll jump out of the window" he threatened.
"Jump out of that window and I'll resurrect you just to kill you again"
He turned round to see Hayley standing there, hands on her hips. He looked back at the bed and she was still lying there. He looked back at the one that was standing before him and took her in completely. Her hair was clean and bouncy, she was wearing her favourite black skirt with a red t-shirt and black boots, her skin it's normal pale colour and her eyes were wide open, green, emerald green eyes.
"Oh my god" he whispered "you're…you're here but…but you're there…"
Hayley rolled her eyes "you would think that you never seen a ghost before"
"But you aren't dead!" he cried out.
"Since when did I have to be dead to be a ghost?" she asked. "Ever heard of out of body experiences Cal? I'm experiencing one right now and I have to tell you, needing no sleep, food and so on is actually rather nice"
"Where have you been?" Cal asked.
Hayley shrugged "around, didn't see the point in hanging around here 24/7"
"Well now you're here you can go back into your body and wake up"
"Why should I?"
"Because you can't spend the rest of your live as a ghost!"
Hayley bit her lip trying to smother the giggles that were bubbling up "do you know how ridiculous you sound?" he rolled his eyes but smiled down at his friend. "I don't really want to go back in there. I would wake up to find bloody tubes stuck up my arse, oh god I was supposed to start my period soon, what if they stick a tampon up there instead of using a pad? I hate tampons, though pads aren't really that much better with the rashes"
"Hayley too much information, my ears are bleeding and my eyes are burning from the mental images. I so did not need to know that!"
Hayley rolled her eyes "men, so squeamish"
"No you just over share, even Anna agree with me on that"
"I'm comfortable about talking about more body functions, so sue me"
"Can't you're dead"
"Not yet"
"Well hurry up and come back! I don't want to sit around talking to a ghost of all things"
"Why should I? If I come back what's to stop you from trying to kill yourself? At least this way I can look after you properly"
Cal stared at Hayley for a while "please tell me you haven't been spying on me when I was in the shower or getting change"
Hayley snorted "I'm not a pervert, I do have limits"
"Why should you look out for me anyway?" Cal snapped suddenly "why did you have to go play Super Girl and push me out of the way? Did you want to look like a hero?"
"I did what any human does when they see someone who they care about get almost run over by a car!" Hayley shouted.
Just saw Hayley's comet
She waved
Said why you always running
in place?
Even the man in the
Moon disappeared
somewhere in the
Stratosphere
"I wanted to die!" Cal roared "you just couldn't let me do it! You're terrified of losing me and look what happens."
Hayley let out a bitter laugh "you didn't want to die, not really. Once the pain went away you would have wanted to live"
"I'm not scared of death" Cal whispered fiercely.
"I know and neither am I but that's not the point"
"Hayley don't lie, you're terrified of pain"
"Yes I am but not of death. If I was scared of death would I stand around here talking to you? No I would be back in my body talking to you"
Cal was silent he studied Hayley and couldn't help notice scars on her face that are definitely not on her real face. "What's with those scars?"
"Ever heard of being emotionally scarred? Well that's what I am"
"You have an average life, with good friends and you had never been in a relationship what the hell could scar you like that?"
"No such thing as an average life" Hayley muttered.
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing, nothing"
"You see! You don't know what it's like to be heartbroken do you? So why the hell should I listen to you?"
Hayley's eyes flared up with anger "just because I never dated doesn't mean I haven't had my heart broken" she then faded away quickly.
Cal stood there in the hospital room completely confused. He had no idea what just happened but he knew Hayley was most definitely not going to wake up. He sighed and walked out his shoulders slouching. He went to the only person who might know what is going on…Anna.
Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realise
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
is a second chance
"Oh look what the cat dragged in" Anna said spitefully when she spotted Cal leaning against her bedroom doorframe. "How did you get in here?"
"You're brother let me in" Cal said shrugging.
"Why are you here anyway Cal? Don't you have a car to jump in front off?"
"What's wrong with Hayley, Anna?"
"She's in a coma, duh. God have you sniffed glue or something before visiting me? Or were you always this stupid?"
"I meant why is Hayley angry and upset"
Anna rolled her eyes "should have known she would visit you" she muttered under her breath.
"You've seen her too?"
"Cal I had to comfort her! She was in shock!"
"Well then other than oh-my-god-I'm-a-ghost shock what's wrong with her? Why is she upset? Why does she say that she knows what it's like to have a heart broken?"
"Because she just had her heart broken dufus!" Anna snapped.
"But she's never been in a relationship!" Cal argued.
"You don't have to be in a relationship to have your heart broken and it doesn't have to be a boyfriend or girlfriend to break it" Anna sniffed "sometimes your family can break it for you"
Cal remembered seeing Hayley's family at the hospital, her mother was in tears, her siblings were fighting one another and her father kept a distance from the other three. It was a strained family, staring before him and he didn't notice. Well why should he? He was more worried about the fact his best friend was lying in a coma.
"Anna where would Hayley be?" Cal asked "when she's upset where does she go?"
"When she's not at my place? I don't know she goes anywhere really. The library, the parks, the promenade, anywhere away from the house"
"I'll find her" Cal promised before running out of the house.
Please don't cry
One tear for me
I'm not afraid of
What I have to say
This is my one and
Only voice
So listen close, it's
Only for today
He found her swinging on a swing in a park not so far away from Anna's. He sighed before walking over to her and plunked himself in the swing next to her; he swung silently for a while before he turned to face her.
"Don't people think it's weird that there's a swing, swinging by itself?" he asked.
Hayley shrugged "stranger things have happened before"
"Going to tell me what you're hiding or do I have to force it out of you?"
"Why should I tell anyone?" Hayley asked bitterly. "Apparently I don't understand how it feels"
Cal sighed deeply "Hales I can't help if you won't speak. Now please tell me what the hell is going on"
She was silent for a good few minutes before she whispered it. "Dad…he's left, gone vamoosed. Like the last time and the time before that and the time before that. And I know any minute my Mum is going to accept him back and then it'll happen all over again"
"Oh…" he wasn't sure what to say.
"It's worse this time round, family is really struggling. Hannah the worst…I don't really want to say what she's been up to, lets just say she's been doing a quieter version of what you did last Friday"
"Oh shit" he whispered.
"Yeah…oh shit sounds about right" she sighed "it hurts, it hurts so much. Every time she takes him back and I just can't be angry. I'm just…depressed, hurt and so sad."
"Death isn't the answer though" Cal said.
"Oh you're the one to talk!" Hayley retorted.
I just saw Hayley's comet
She waved
Said why you always running
in place?
Even the man in the
Moon disappeared
somewhere in the
Stratosphere
He slipped a hand through hers and held it tightly; amazed that it didn't slide through. "Ok so I'm a hypocrite. I just don't understand how I never noticed my best friend was hurt and why she wanted to take my place on the road"
"You were happy before the road incident" Hayley said "couldn't make you unhappy, besides I didn't want to talk about it. Didn't even want to think about it"
"Come back Hales, come home"
"You know saying goodbye isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes it's a good thing." She whispered a sparkling tear falling down her cheek.
"I don't want you to go."
"I don't want to stay, what a pickle we're in." she sighed "no that's a lie, I do want to stay I just don't want to live with that infuriating up and down relationship. I don't…I don't want my parents screwing my head over again and again. And this seems to be the easier option"
Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realise
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
is a second chance
"Tell you what" Cal said "we'll walk to the hospital and then we decide yeah? But I'm warning you; not coming back will just break a lot of people's hearts even more"
She simply stared at him and the pair walked together in silence.
Here's my chance
this is my chance
When they got into the hospital room they actually found Hayley's mother crying over Hayley, she looked up with her blotchy face "oh it's you" she said flatly "she hasn't woken"
"I know" Cal mumbled, he knew Hayley's mum hated him, blamed him for Hayley's condition (like everyone else did). "Just came to keep her company"
"I don't know what I'll do without my baby" Hayley's mother said as if Cal never spoken. "She's such a good girl"
From the corner of his eye he can see Hayley rolling her eyes.
"I just can't bear the idea of telling her goodbye"
"Sometimes goodbyes don't have to be a bad thing, sometimes they can be a good thing" Cal said using what Hayley said earlier.
"Tell her…" Hayley said "tell her that goodbyes can be a second chance"
"Sometimes goodbye can be a second chance" Cal said to Hayley's mother.
"You're rather philosophical for a teenager" Hayley's mother sniffed "but you're right, they can be" she then leaned down and kissed her daughter's forehead. "Goodbye my baby girl" she whispered.
"Goodbye Mum" Hayley said quietly. Cal turned to see Hayley fading away slowly. "Bye Cal" she whispered before she disappeared completely.
Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realise
This is my life
I hope they understand
I'm not angry, I'm just saying...
Sometimes goodbye
is a second chance
Suddenly Hayley's body lets out a deep breath and takes one in, her eyes flutter open and her sickly white skin is now her normal pale colour. Her mother turns round in shock and Cal smirks slightly.
"Can we have that second chance?" Hayley whispers to her mother. "The whole family?"
Cal watches Hayley's mother grab hold of Hayley's hand "yes baby, oh yes. Anything for my little girl"
Cal then realised that maybe, maybe trying to kill himself because his girlfriend broke up with him was a little extreme. That he could use this as a way to think things through and to try again. Like Hayley said, sometimes goodbye is a second chance.
Sometimes goodbye
is a second chance