3Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
and, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame
She was so bloody unhappy, when she shouldn't have been. Her family was back to normal and everything was happy. But it felt so false. Everything felt fake and she felt nauseous just looking at them. But she had asked for this, when she woke up from that coma, she had asked for them to be a family.
Hayley sighed as she got off of the swing and wandered round the park before settling down under a tree, lying down watching the sky through the green leaves. She couldn't ask them to split up because despite the fake ness they do seem genially happy, it was probably all her. She wondered if she could ever heal after the emotional trauma she has been through.
She wondered if when she said goodbye was a second chance she really meant that she had to leave, to live a life away from her parents to have that second chance. She blinks and knows that this is all her fault.
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
and breathe me
They were supposed to be rehearsing for their duologue but while double checking some lines they ended up discussing how he felt. He was still down in the dumps about being dumped and they ended up leaning against the radiator chatting.
"You're my best mate" he said suddenly offering an arm up.
Hayley smiled up at him "you're my best mate too Cal" she said before snuggling up into his chest and wrapping an arm round his waist. She breathed in catching the Lynx he uses while he breathes in her hair, catching the raspberry shampoo she uses.
They stood there for a long time both lost in their own thoughts.
Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe
She's juggling round four A-Levels, her own problems and her friends' problems. She started to notice the lack of sleep she's having and she keeps getting a headache. She sighs to herself as she pulls out a book and reads while trying to push out all thoughts of the outside world.
She looks in the mirror and she sees her green eyes look empty, her brown her covering her face, hiding the fact that she's even more paler than usual and that she have purpley blue bags under her eyes. She grimaces at the sight of herself.
She literally gags when she sees her parents kiss. This isn't right, this is awful.
She doesn't cry, she would love to so very much but she doesn't. Too many bad experiences from crying, it taught her not too.
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
and breathe me
She's walking down the street with Lydia, one of her closet friends and one of the few she can confide in because Lydia understands everything due to fact she's been through it herself. She admits everything and Lydia is watching her sympathetically. Then they get to the end of the road where Lydia has to turn to go to her place and Hayley as to continue down.
"Have a good weekend. I might phone you" Lydia said "or get Melanie to give me a connection to your Fan fiction thing. Promise me you'll get some sleep"
"I'll try" Hayley promises her "but I can't…it's so hard"
Lydia pulls her into a warm embrace, Hayley could smell her floral perfume and she can hear Lydia breathe in her vanilla scent. They only separate when someone bumps into them on the street.
Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
and breathe me
She's walking down the street, her arm linked through Anna's and they stop at a park. They sit down and pull out their lunch that they picked up from the local McDonalds. They both stare each other, both knowing that they have issues. Anna has lost a relative that she was close to and Hayley can't be happy. When they finish their lunch Hayley gets up and throws the rubbish in the bin when Anna pulls her into a huge hug.
Hayley tightened her arms round the smaller girl and breathed Anna's latest perfume while Anna breathed in her vanilla scent.
"Don't know what I'll do without you" Anna whispers.
"Same here" Hayley whispered back "and I mean all of you"