AN: prologue is based off a true story. my story. can i say arg! some is true, some is from a dream. read and review please! I'd like to know what you think. first names are kept the same, last names are different for the sake of discreetness... Ilse isn't my name though, i just love that name! yes the prolouge is based off of what happened to me...

2nd Grade

He walks into the classroom and I noticed he was the same boy, only completely different. he had changed in my eyes. I, Ilse Rose Sesamendee was hypnotized by this boy Joseph Michael Marblendener. His eyes would trail to mine and I would turn away with a blush. I had a crush, my first crush. I still remember the anklet of string he wore and seemed to never take off though somehow no one noticed it. he was the one who would taunt me with my favorite foods in my face when he knew plenty well that I couldn't buy them. Of course it was a joke. He and I were friends. I would not tell anyone I liked him. When they would ask, I would say a boy named Joseph, but because he went by Michael, they had no earthly idea who I was talking about. I left that school and Joseph behind. I lost contact with him. I got over him. Didn't think much of him after that.

5th Grade

Cody Gelenor was the next boy I liked. His sandy brown hair and hazel eyes were what I liked about him, plus his sense of humor and kind disposition. When I had fallen into a deep enough trance, I thought I would forget everything but him. I came home one of these days and found a letter waiting for me on the built-in book shelf. I gaped at the initials J.M.M. I had forgotten I had written to him over the summer. I ran to my room and began reading anxiously. When I finished reading, I was engrossed in the thought of him. When I finally realized how much of an effect he had on me, it was too late. Cody Gelenor did not seem to exist. All I could think about were those chestnut brown eyes that belonged to a boy with the initials J.M.M.

7th Grade

The new boy who caught my attention was known as Christian Salender. He had electric blue eyes and a smile to make you melt. He had dark hair and ad the greatest personality. He was literally Mr. Wonderful. I fell farther and farther for him. In October, a tall boy drug my thoughts from Christian. I was at my friend's church bazaar working the dunking booth. He was sitting with his friends watching them miss the target and laughing, joking around. I was drawn in. there was something about him that had taken my attention. I looked at his eyes. I was struck with shock once more. I knew those chestnut eyes that had drawn me in once before. They belonged to the same person who had the initials of J.M.M. It was Michael, as we all who had known him called him. I approached him, something I had not been able to do before. We said hello and didn't have much else to say afterwards. I hastily walked away, cheeks turning red with every step. He filled my thoughts as Christian Salender faded. I went back to my old school, only this time, the boy with the initials J.M.M wasn't there.

8th Grade

The boy I had fallen for was Josh McNekken. His stunning blue eyes and blonde hair were almost always on my mind. It was basketball season and my thoughts strayed to his blue eyes making it difficult to concentrate on my science homework I had to finish before the boy's varsity game started. "Ilse" coach called, "have you and the girls meet me in the office." I went off to find the rest of my team who were probably flirting with the Neanderthals they called the boy's basketball team, all of them most likely deprived of contact with any boys like Josh. I told them coach wanted to speak to us. We walked in. Coach gave us popcorn to eat and we all laughed as Kendall searched for her bag in the trashcan, for some reason we didn't care to know. He went over plays for the next day's game. I listened to him speak and stared outside his narrow window past the junior varsity boys warming up to the bleachers where the opposite school had sat down. The only thing I could think of was that if I didn't go out there soon, my homework would not be in very good condition, if found at all. As Coach released us, I ran out to search for my books. My long hair draping over my eyes like a curtain, I searched all around the bleachers. " Hi Ilse," I heard a familiar voice call. I looked up, moving the curtain of hair from my face to look into his chestnut eyes. I could feel the blood rushing to my face, but in my pride I refused it to come.

"Hi Michael," I said as calmly as I could muster. I tore my gaze away from the eyes that put me in a trance so often and found my shoes to be very interesting. I ducked down to look under the bleachers. There was my backpack, and homework as well. His friends seemed to be extremely excited that he knew girls at the opponent school. " excuse me," I asked one of his friends, "could you hand me those books under you?"

"sure" he said and smiled sheepishly.

"thanks" I said. "do you know the others?" one of the boys asked him as the rest of my team made their way to the bleachers. He pointed to them and named them all off.

his friends were in shock, and so was my team.

"you know who he is, don't you?" I asked them skeptically. I wasn't sure they could. In appearance he had changed a lot, except to me, for I could find those chestnut colored eyes anywhere in a room. They shook their heads. I told them, painfully, that it was Michael. They became bug-eyed with shock and surprise. His friends and mine started talking excitedly about people they knew as we looked down at our feet.

"do you know Rachel Luguernican?" they asked. My head perked at the sound of my best friends' name. she had moved schools again and I wondered how she was doing.

"yeah," I said.

"she's kind of weird, and sort of big," they said, holding their arms out from either side. No one spoke up, so I decided I had to take a stand. Michael was being chicken. After all she as his friend too.

"she isn't big, and she isn't weird. Maybe before you judge you should get to know them first, befriend them," as I said the last two words, I looked at Michael, hoping for a sign that he had made her welcome in some way. I was flooded with disappointment as his eyes dropped in shame. Clearly the answer was no. His friends were not very happy about this perk of bravery to be so outspoken. They murmured among themselves. They got up and went to get warmed up. I made my way to the top of the bleachers and sat down to finish the science homework that had really begun to annoy me.

"dude," one of his friends said as he pointed back towards where I and I alone was sitting, " and you used to like her?" it was now my turn to be in a state of shock. I barely heard him say, " she's nice," in a low voice, defending me. When I could finally speak, it was in a small voice. I told one of my friends that he was pointing their direction. They said not to fool myself. I knew they were right. He came to sit by me on the bleachers while his team was warming up.

"shouldn't you be on the court warming up?" I asked.

"I sprained my foot playing soccer. I can't really do much except sit on the sidelines with my team." He said, staring down at the ground.

" well that sucks. Sorry." I said as I did the same.

"no big deal,' he said, still looking at the ground. I only dared myself to look up when he had left to talk to his coach. During the game, some of the moms at the game asked me to point out Michael to them. I did, and it seemed every time I did, his eyes would meet mine. I left the gym that day with his chestnut eyes replacing Josh's blue ones.