A/N: Okay, so this is my first story on this site. I'd like some feedback. I have two other stories written but this is the one I wanted to upload. I don't know exactly why... Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.



I've always smiled. People have always asked me why I'm so happy. I'm not happy. I never was. Then why do I smile? Good question.

Chapter 1:

I sat at school, staring out the window absent-mindedly while the teacher droned on about Copernicus and Galileo. As if I cared who said the world was heliocentric first.

I sighed again as I continued twirling my pencil.

"Lana! Pay attention please," the teacher scolded me.

Everyone in the class was sleeping, trying not to sleep or playing with their electronics secretly and the teacher targets me. Friggin' stereotypical ass, just because I looked bummy, didn't mean I was a trouble maker. He should know too, since I was his best student.

If I had owned any electronics, I would have been doing the same. I didn't want to listen to a boring voice go on and on and on. Like those energizer batteries.

I glanced up at the clock. Only five minutes left, I stuffed my binder into my bag. It's not as if I was using it.

Others began to follow and put their things away with a series of noises; papers shuffling, binder rings, zippers, and Velcro opening.

The teacher assigned the homework and began to pack up as well.

Everyone began excitedly speaking. After all, the long awaited break was here.

Most people were glad school was over for a while, I, however, was not.

While I did not like school, I hated home even more. I always ended up avoiding my house anyway. Going to the library, mall, working or anything else I could find to do.

I got up and trudged over to my locker.

Dumping my things inside, I turned to leave the school. I wouldn't need my things over the break, it's not like I'd be doing my homework anyway.

It was freezing outside, in nothing but a thin sweater, I shivered. I had to walk all the way home, in below zero weather. I could only hope I didn't catch pneumonia.


I sighed and started on the long walk.

"I'm talking to you!"

I didn't need to hurry; it's not as if I'm eager to be going there.

"Kid! Stop ignoring me!"

Fucking cold, my teeth chattered as I rubbed my arms.

I swore a lot in my head but was all shy and quiet when speaking aloud. I'm a big hypocrite, aren't I?

I felt a hand grab my shoulder. I instinctively stiffened.

"Why are you ignoring me? God, I've been calling you forever."

I turned around to see a tall, blonde and beautiful girl looking down at me. She was smiling.

A girl from school. A cheerleader or something. Why was she talking to me?

I smiled back nicely. "Is there something you needed?"

"No, but there's something you need."

I looked back confused. What was she going on about?

"A ride. Do you know how cold it is? I'm wearing three sweaters and this jacket and I'm still freezing my ass off. You'll die if you walk home in that." She pointed at my raggedy sweater and torn shoes.

I smiled sheepishly.

"So, come on. I'll give you a ride. Wouldn't want you to die on me."

Why not? I thought cynically as she dragged me after her without looking for my approval.

She opened the door to a large black car. It looked like one of the ones celebrity's always showed up in. Like a large jeep or something.

She pushed me inside gently and followed, slamming the door behind her.

We were in the backseat which meant that someone else was driving.

I looked up front and a boy grinned back at me.

He was in the passenger seat. I almost felt blinded by his white smile, white -blonde hair and light blue eyes.

The boy driving did not look back. He put the car in drive and pulled out without a word or glance.

"And why is a pretty girl like you walking outside alone in this weather?" The blonde asked.

"Uh... um... Well," I stuttered in response.

"Leave her alone, Heathen. She doesn't have to tell you anything," the girl said for me.

I looked back at her and recognized the similarities between the guy she'd referred to as "heathen" and her. They looked identical. She had the same white-blonde hair and blue eyes. They were both beautiful.

"Heathen?" I asked her.

"She only calls me that. My name's Heath actually. How about you?" He glared at his sister before grinning at me.

His smile was blinding, like I said before. I was in awe.

I stared back blankly and he looked at his sister and raised an eyebrow.

His sister shrugged and he turned back to the front.

My face burned, they must've thought I was crazy.

"Where do you live?"

I didn't realize I was being spoken to or that the silent, mysterious driver had said anything. I was too busy being mortified with my odd behaviour.

It was a surprise I could still feel embarrassed or care about trivial things like how people saw me.

I chuckled sardonically.

They all turn to look at me, well minus the driver.


The girl shook her head at me and smiled.

"Where do you live?" Her brother asked this time.

"Oh, uhhh... I live on Fairview, the second light."

"Whoa. That's pretty far, were you planning on walking all that way?"

I shrugged.

"Don't you ever get any rides? Grumpy over there drives us when we need a ride." He pointed a finger at the driver.

In which, "grumpy" growled at him. Heath put his hands up in surrender.

"Don't be scared of it, he's just mad I'm giving you more attention."

I smiled weakly and attempted to laugh.

When we finally got there, I thanked them all, even the silent driver and hopped out into my driveway.

I was only introduced to Heath. I didn't know the other names.

I didn't need to know anyway. They wouldn't remember me after the break.

I stood in my front yard for a while, trying to waste as much time as possible before going inside.

Underneath the many layers of snow, it was a barren wasteland. It had not one piece of grass, plants or even weeds.

It was really ugly, just like the house. Well, on the outside the house was exactly like all the other houses on Fairview.

Large, beautiful and for the wealthy, everyone on Fairview was wealthy. I suppose I am as well.

Then why the rags? Trust me, it's not like I had a choice.

I sighed and walked over to the front door. Opening it with my key, I glanced inside. Empty.

The house was a mess, a total mess. And I was left to clean it up.

I knew what would happen if I didn't clean up, so I set to work.

My mother didn't need an excuse to get mad at me, if she had one, it's even worse.

I looked at the computer longingly, if I could just go on for one second.

No, I should get to work. I'd never get off.

I woke up to a loud sound coming from my mother's side of the house. I blinked and rubbed my eyes.

The time on the clock pointed out that it was 4:oo am.

What was she doing at this time?

I stood and followed the noise, to find my mother's door ajar.

Her high pitched giggles were what I was hearing. She was laughing with a man in her room, a bottle of alcohol between them.

I curled my lips in disgust, another man. How long could she do this for? She'd already had one mistake.

Yes, that mistake was me. I'm her mistake. She informs me of that each and every day.

I'm just glad I have somewhere to live, even if she doesn't help with anything else.

I should just leave before something I don't want to hear happens.

I wash my face in the washroom, brush my teeth and grab my mother's jacket over my t-shirt and sweatpants.

She won't notice I borrowed it if she went through her same schedule.

Get drunk, bring a guy home, get him drunk with you, have sex, and pass out. She'd stay passed out for a while and then the cycle would continue.

That's her basic ritual after she comes back from work.

I couldn't tell you exactly where she worked because she'd never told me. I didn't know. I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

I slipped on her boots as well. Expensive ones but like I said, she wouldn't know.

Outside, it was more freezing than it was yesterday. As I sighed, the air built up in front of me, like I was smoking.

I walked down the road to the park at the end. No one would be there at this time. I liked it better that way.

I'm aware of the dangers, blah blah blah, but I don't really care.

As I thought, no one was there. I plopped down onto the swings and swayed to a slow rhythm in my head.

I hummed to an unknown tune and started to swing faster. It was warming me up.

I continued humming to myself before I heard a noise to the left of me.

I looked at the spot where it came from to see a man standing there, clad in all black. Black hooded sweatshirt pulled over his head, black jeans, and black shoes.

I couldn't even really see him. All I could see was an amused smile.

Was he going to kidnap me? Rape me? Murder me?

I was already thinking the worst, even though I pretended not to care. I was scared shitless.

"Who are you?!" I demanded.

He laughed.

"You sure are more talkative than yesterday. Is it the night air?" He said cryptically as he came closer.

He took a seat beside me on the swing set. He didn't appear to be dangerous.

"What do you mean, yesterday? I don't know who you are, why would I have seen you yesterday?"

"You don't remember?"

I looked at him closely. The amused smile, the dark dishevelled hair, and amber eyes are not anywhere in memory. Nor the pretty face, how many pretty faces in one day could a girl take?

"No, sorry. Who are you? And what are you doing out here?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"I asked first."


"So you answer first. Answer."

"What if I said no?"

"Then I won't answer your question."

"I already know who you are."


"I told you, yesterday."

"Well, whatever then."

I didn't know why I was speaking so freely to this stranger. It was weird. I'd never spoken to someone for more than one sentence.

He laughed again. And I decided I liked his laugh.

I smiled inwardly. I don't know why. He amused me as well, I'd guess.

"I'll answer your question anyway," he finally said.

"About what you're doing here?"

"No, who I am."


"My name's Jay. I'm eighteen next week. I go to Lady Heron."

"Oh. Really? I go there too."

"I know that."

"Do you know my name too?"

He only laughed in response.

"I didn't think anyone would ever be stalking me, but I'm starting to think you are." I narrowed my eyes suspiciously.

He laughed again.

"No, I only met you yesterday."

"The only people I met yesterday were... that heathen guy, his sister and the grumpy driver."

He grinned knowingly, while I tried to figure how he fit into this.

I remembered the dark haired driver. Silent and mysterious.

"Oooooooh! You're him. The grumpy driver!"

"Yes, the grumpy driver. Thanks for calling me that and I'll tell Heath you remember him as "that heathen guy". Every girl at school knows him as "H-H-H-Heath". You seriously don't know who we are? Not to sound egotistical."

I laughed at his imitation of a stutter. I did my share of stuttering yesterday as well. Who could bear not to stutter with Sir Shines A Lot flirting and paying attention only to you? I certainly am never good with talking to boys. It's not as if I talk to girls either though.

I still don't know why I'm talking so easily with this guy.

"Don't feel too bad. I don't pay too much attention in school. I just go in and go out. I'm guessing I know who you two are though... the coolest guys in school that have girls stuttering everywhere? Am I right?"

"Yup, pretty much." He laughed again.

"So are you going to tell me what you're doing here?" I asked again.

I don't know why I was asking, actually. He'd probably ask me to answer in return. And I was not comfortable giving away personal information. That's basically why I haven't even tried getting friends, not that I'd be successful if I did try.

"I needed a breather and a smoke. The house is just too... I don't know."

"Same, I mean I'm not smoking but yeah same."

He smiled and asked, "Is it okay if I light up?"

Like he needed to ask, I was around way more hardcore drugs in my life what with my mother being the way she is. Thankfully, she's not addicted to any. Yet. I never admitted it before but even I tried some. I've also smoked cigarettes. Not the same quiet, shy girl people see me as, am I?

"When did you start?"

"About a year ago. Only when I'm really stressed out though and this is one of those times."


"How come you never talked in the car but you're talking so much here?"

"I could ask you the same thing," I mimicked his earlier statement.

"I don't feel the need to talk mindlessly and never shut my mouth like Heath. I think he has ADHD, but he denies it." He grinned.

"Well, you guys were strangers who grabbed me off the sidewalk into the car and suddenly started talking to me, well except for you. Did you expect me to be completely comfortable or something? I've been going to this school for a year and I've barely exchanged two words with anyone, even teachers."

"Why? How come you don't talk?"

I looked down. I wasn't sure how to answer that.

I guess I avoid getting close to people. I'm better off alone.

"I'm not a people person," I say instead.

"Me too."

"Really? Aren't you in constant spotlight at school or something?"

"Well, yeah but I didn't choose to, Heath did. He lives off of that stuff, he's so fucking shallow."

"Is his sister like that?"

"Oh Andrea? No way. She's nothing like him. She actually focuses on her studies, plays sports and is active in school stuff. I don't know how they're related. People love her too though."

I noticed the loving way he talked about her.

"You really like her, huh?"

"Why not? We go way back, her brother, her and me."

"That must be cool. How'd someone like Heath meet you?"

"He wasn't always like that. He used to be different."

That's all he says about the matter, I can tell he doesn't want to talk about it.

"Do you come here often?"

"I guess, yeah. Usually around this time though," I answered truthfully. "You?"

"Tonight's my first night."

I nodded and looked up at the sky. It looked like the sun was about to come up.

"Whoa, it's already 5:00 am. I guess I have to go, I'll walk you?"

"Nah, I came by myself I can go back."

"Are you coming here tomorrow?"

"Maybe. Why?"

"Well, you shouldn't come alone. It's not safe, I'll come too. "

"How'll you know whenever I'm going?"

"You can call me or text me."

"I don't have a cell phone."


"Yeah." He was surprised since most kids my age had a cell phone.

"Well use your home phone then." He wrote his number down on my hand.


I turned to walk away.


"Yeah?" I turned back.

"What's your name?"


"Bye Lana."

He waved over his shoulder.

I didn't know why he gave me his number. Why should he care if it's safe or not?

I couldn't help but think he has ulterior motives for actually wanting to talk to me.

I never considered the fact that he may have needed this as much as I did.

A/N: PLEASE REVIEW. I'd like to see what you thought of it and if it should actually be continued.