6Navigate Me Through Your Body
Note: I've decided to lengthen this story. But if it ends up being dead and unappreciated, I probably won't have enough motivation to continue to be honest. And just a suggestion, but you would probably want to listen to Navigate Me Through Your Body by Cute Is What We Aim For. I imagined this scene as a short music video to that song. Enjoy! :)
Andrew has waited five years for something to happen with Lewis, best friend and neighbour. Just to gamble it all away for a chance at love would be foolish. That would've been correct if Lewis wasn't so keen on touching Andrew's body so frequently.
Prologue
With warm water filling up the bath, Andrew leaned against the cold marble wall.
He traced the dark olive and indigo flowers, splayed across the upper part of his torso with the tips of his fingers.
His mouth was dry, and with the inability to speak he couldn't voice out the confusion that was consuming him.
Like his favourite mug that stood on his desk, the cracks and the damage of what had happened would always be evident.
Lewis was the boy next door, the person who he could always be dependant upon. But everything shifts and every decision has its consequence.
Andrew slumped to the floor, not realising that the bath was already overflowing, and rested his head in his hands. He had assumed that a lifetime of friendship would mean that Lewis would know, that he would realise just how much he meant to him.
It had been a relatively cool night, the boat that was docked by the lakeside swayed gently from side to side, lulling the two into partial slumber. Andrew lay next to Lewis, staring up at the vast night sky lit by the sparse stars and his eyes started to flutter shut. Sheer exhaustion swept over him from sailing all day. Lewis on the other hand still had energy stored in him, and in a playful manner, he ran his hand through Andrew's dark curls, whilst leaning closer towards Andrew's face.
And without hesitation, Andrew closed the space between them and pressed his lips against Lewis'.
The two kissed softly, Lewis now caressing Andrew's lips with his own, and pulling softly at Andrew's individual curls. Lewis deepened the kiss, pressing his body against Andrew's, feeling the boy reciprocate the same passion beneath him.
Fingers pressed hard against bare skin, digging into lower backs with such fervour just to feel closer, to eliminate any distance.
It had all come down to this.
Breathless, Lewis unwillingly pulled away and placed his slightly swollen lips next to Andrew's ear. He felt weaker in the knees, felt a little bit more vulnerable that he had ever been when 'I love you' escaped in a quiet whisper.
Regret, hatred and sorrow consumed his thoughts as he slammed his fist hard against the marble, earning him yet another bloody set of knuckles. Regret for seizing up, hatred for running away from Lewis and sorrow as he had turned his eyes towards Lewis'. Seeing that mixture of confusion and hurt welling up in Lewis' body language had made him stop for a split second before increasing his pace.
Andrew stood up and turned off the faucet, immersing himself underwater. He had always loved Lewis, and always will—for the past six years he had convinced himself that unrequited love would be better for him and for Lewis.
Water seeped into his mouth and he let it momentarily asphyxiate him before coming up for air.
He nearly choked on the water that was still in his mouth when he saw Lewis' face hovering just a centimetre away from his.
"Just shut up and listen," he commanded.
His face softened then, and he lifted his hand to caress Andrew's face.
He was surprised when he didn't flinch from Lewis' touch.
"I've been in love with you for the past five years of our friendship, and I assumed you felt the same when you responded like that—and in fact, you actually fucking initiated it anyway."
Andrew hesitated before he answered, his voice laced with venom, "I've waited six years, watching you go from girl to girl—hearing about you fucking them again and again. How the fuck do you think I feel?"
Lewis cupped Andrew's face and stared at him for the longest time.
"Tonight was the only night that I was able to see so many stars at once," Lewis commented, biting his lip slightly.
He then turned to look at Andrew.
"But in all honesty, the brightest star had already burned its image behind closed lids. So every time I go to sleep I see it."
Lewis grinned at Andrew.
"I haven't found any brighter star for five years and I don't think I will anytime in the future either…"
Chapter One
Eleven years ago.
Andrew propped his leg up on the wall that separated his house from the new neighbours, and leaned back against the dusty white walls of his house. He loved to perch high up, away from all distractions; it gave him a sense of freedom to be able to view everything and everyone from afar. This solitary act of a seven year old seemed odd, but gave the boy a sense of maturity—according to the people who knew the family well.
To this very day, Andrew remembers the distinct smell that disturbed his train of thought and ironically, made it the most inimitable day of his existence. A pungent fragrance that reminded him of his mother's perfume filled his senses, as a small boy around his age tried to clamber up his wall.
Andrew stifled the snicker that nearly escaped from his lips, and instead grinned widely as the persistent boy's face began to turn a rather amusing shade of crimson.
"You'll never make it up this wall," Andrew chuckled.
"Why not?" the boy huffed.
"You're too small."
"Not true!" he cried indignantly.
Andrew shifted all his weight to his right arm and slid off the wall, landing near where Lewis was standing.
Eying the other boy, he asked, "So who're you?"
"Lewis. I'm a purple dinosaur and I'm nearly eight."
With a teasing smile he started, "So…you're Barney?"
"Who the hell is Barney?"
"I think I'm going to like you."
Present day.
This memory had sealed itself into Andrew's mind the moment he had uttered those words.
Ten quick blinks were all it seemed to take for those years to pass by, and now it was nearing the beginning of the end.
To be honest, it had been the hardest and yet the most unforgettable years, and Andrew still couldn't shake that ache that plagued him every time he looked at his best friend.
It all started on that day, that extraordinary day.
It was a sweltering summer afternoon that drove the two to the nearby beach with a bunch of mates. With a good few bottles of Corona in hand, they drank away the heat whilst managing to swim in between wrestling.
Andrew had had three bottles and felt a bit off-balance, which really didn't help his body reacting to Lewis' body.
It had dawned on him a few years ago that he might've been gay—maybe it was that in the constant flush of blood rushing to places where it shouldn't be during swimming when he noticed every contour on the fit boys' muscles.
It really didn't aid his case that it was mandatory for them to wear Speedos, and only Speedos during those PE lessons.
Lewis attempted to grab Andrew by the waist, in a vain effort to execute a rugby tackle. Except Lewis' specialty was football and Andrew's was in rugby, having the upper hand Andrew had no trouble in handing him off—in the face. Andrew grinned impishly as he heard a loud crack followed by a string of curses directed to him.
"Andrew you fucking git, I'm going to get you for this!" Lewis growled, clutching his nose.
Andrew's sides hurt and fought to catch his breath as he half ran—half stumbled across the grainy sand. Ignoring the blood that slowly dribbled from his nose, Lewis sprinted after the idiot that nearly broke his nose and tackled him into the ground. Karma seemed to be working quickly on that day, as Andrew landed face-first and mouth-open into the sand. As Andrew prepared to punch his best friend in the face, he stopped abruptly, noticing the sparse distance between them. His breathing seemed to stop short, and his heart started racing madly as Lewis' intense gaze caught his, and the distance seemed to be eliminating itself with haste.
"Oh fuck," he thought, "This is not happening. This is not happening to Lewis and me. I can't let it happen," Panic gripped him, and he was so grateful for Lewis' break in the awkward silence
"God seems to favour me, no?" Lewis proudly stated, scrambling to his feet and towering over his defeated and rather pissed-off looking friend.
Thankfully, the glare of the sun masked Andrew's gaze—which at that moment seemed to be raping Lewis' body, without his consent. He hid this quick falter by spitting the sand at Lewis' feet.
Lewis shrieked. "Serves you right! That sand tasted nasty," Andrew replied, picking the remaining grains of sand off his tongue.
They were brought back from their own little spat, when they heard Rachel screaming bloody murder. Turning their heads in that direction they both saw Will and Sam lifting the squirming Rachel—ready to throw her into the rolling waves.
"Fuck you guys! If you dare throw me in, I'm going to fucking CUT your—" The gush of water stole her words, and the only sound you could hear on the beach were the victorious yells coming from Sam and Will.
That day had made their summer. And for Andrew? Well that extraordinary day made him realise that perhaps, perhaps his best friend wasn't only just his best friend anymore.
Lewis glanced from his bedroom window, waiting for Andrew to finish with his shower so they could have a quick chat before getting ready for their first day of their final year of Sixth Form. Lewis ran his fingers through his honey strands that seemed to reach in every direction possible. He suppressed a perverse thought of Andrew in the shower and mentally chided himself for thinking of Andrew in that way.
Lewis was completely comfortable with his sexuality, which probably led to the habitual touching of Andrew's body without a second thought.
The thought of him being gay never crossed his mind. He was still attracted to girls. Plus, it wasn't as if Andrew was going to be open to experimenting—if he was gay, which clearly he had established to himself that he wasn't.
"Fuck this," he muttered under his breath.
A sharp knock on the side of his head alerted him that his best friend was dressed and ready. A pang of disappointment washed through him as he realised that he didn't get a glimpse of Andrew in a towel, or better yet naked.
"I ban you from ever using rocks as a form of telling me you're done mate," Lewis said, glaring at Andrew.
He rolled his eyes and replied, "It wasn't a rock. It was a box." Andrew let a mischievous smirk play across his lips as he watched Lewis pick up the box lying by his feet.
"What the—?"
"Condoms, the perfect gift for the first day of school," he said nonchalantly with a wink.
"Andrew, I seriously wonder whether your mum dropped you down the stairs when you were a baby."
He laughed. "Just saying, mate. Don't be silly, wrap your willy and all that." Lewis flipped him the finger and headed out the door to meet Andrew outside.
He couldn't help but chuckle. It was so like Andrew to start the day off with some hilarity.
He just hoped that it would stay that way.
Andrew had been prone to some concerning mood swings over the years, but Lewis never had the strength to directly ask him about it.
Feedback would be greatly appreciated.