Author's note: This story is rated for its language, mention of rape and a sex scene in second chapter. Yes, only one scene...

Disclaimer: This story is purely fictional and any similarity with actual people is purely accidental. Oh, and I own it since its a figment of my imagination - Enjoy!

Disclaimer II-I do not own 'Desperate Housewives' or Terry Hatcher, for that matter...

This thing isn't beta-ed,so please forgive the mistakes that might be-please?

Edit(10th April 2009):I am putting this on an indefinite hiatus...till I get more time to give it a proper ending. Thanks for understanding!

Chapter one

"Well, since we're all here, I think we can start this session."

…What the hell am I doing here? I want to go home!

"Let me first introduce myself…my name is-," Hmph. Like we want to know…whatever. "…Julie Smith. You can call me Mrs. Smith. From today onwards, I'll be in charge of this group therapy. Here you'll-,"

Oh, god…I'm gonna die here! I can't believe I let him talk me into this…I shouldn't even be here! I mean - look at all these people. It's like they have a neon sign plastered on their foreheads that says 'Help me, I'm totally fucked up'! Even a complete idiot could see that from a mile! I need to get out of here, and fast! …I might actually go crazy surrounded by so many twisted bastards…

"Does anyone have any questions? No?" Well, I want to go home? Sigh… Only thing left for me is to say it aloud…Damn you Jon! You're so dead…Grrr! When I get you…I'll have so much fun slowly and painfully finishing you off…Hmm, should I skin him? Maybe make him clean my whole house first, and then skin him? Heh…I like the idea.

"Alright then, let us begin. Today we'll have just a short session, during which each one of you will say a few words about themselves and what brought you here. Jason, would you be a gentleman and start first? Could you tell us a little something about yourself?

That was smooth. Asking a question in a demanding voice. And she even flashed him that sugary-sweet smile that says 'I'm so much smarter than you'll ever be'. Ugh. That's it. I hate her. She ain't getting anything out of me. Conceited bitch.

"S-sure, no problem. Hi e-everyone. M-my name's J-Jason. I-I-I'm 19 and a college so-sophomore. The r-reason I'm here-"

Because you cant say a whole sentence without breaking down in that annoying stutter? Yes? Oh God. Please make him finish fast…Please! I'll be a good Christian if you do! Umm…yeah…I'll try?

"-is…w-well…be-because. Umm…I…have b-black h-holes in my m-memory. L-like, whole days m-missing from my m-memory, and I re-really-" Want to remember the person that gave you that black eye? Or maybe the one that left you that kiss mark? …Poor bastard, he doesn't even remember that much. …Wonder if the other person was male or female? Hahaha…Oh, I'm so funny…

"-really want to fuck your brains out, dear Mrs. Smith…So…your place or mine?" The hell? Damn it. Guess that answers my question… But why? Why? Of all the sessions in this bloody town, mine had to have this split-personality dumb-ass! Now we'll be stuck here for- …Wait. Did he just…? Ewwww. Gross. Now I'm stuck with that mental image for the rest of the day! Again…ewww…

Ugh. Just ignore everything. And hope it ends fast. Aaargh! I want to go home! I don't need this crap! I'm perfectly fine the way I am! Sure, I seem as if I'm about to go all mass-murderer on everyone around me half the time, but come on, which sixteen year old doesn't? She should really focus all of her attention on this I-love-doing-grannies fuck-up, not me.

"Thank you, Amber. Now, the last one for today. Kate?" Huh? It's my turn already? "Please tell us something about yourself."

Oh, hell. Fine. Might as well give her something. It's not like I'll tell her something she doesn't already know.

"Hey. My name's Kate, as you've already heard. I'm sixteen. The reason I'm here? Well, simply put, it's 'cause I'm an idiot. I actually let my best friend of eleven years make me swear I'll come here. So, here I am now, fulfilling my promise to him. What can I say, I'm a great friend."

That should satisfy her...Heh. I love being a smart-ass. Oh dear, look at the time…We only have five minutes left before this torture ends… He he he Yes! I win, you damn conceited fugly bitch!

"You say your friend made you come here? Why did he do that? "

What the hell? She's actually thinking of making me talk? Now when we've got only…three minutes left? Oh yeah, that'll happen. Not.

"I have no idea. Maybe he wanted to see if I'd have guts to do it? Who knows…he might have been possessed or something."

Did I sound snappy enough? God, I sure hope I did…Maybe I should have sounded more irritated and bored? Hmm, I'll have to work on that…

"I see…Oh, our time is up. Well, that's all for today. I'll see you all again this Thursday. Until then."

Fucking finally! I was about to get suffocated by that atmosphere… And it wasn't a short session either… Damn that damned split-personality bastard!

XXX

As I'm walking down the street in which both Jon and I lived all of our childhood, now completely calm and so not thinking of the bloody 't' thing, I thank God once again that we're living in the suburbs. Not in the poor part of the suburbs, just…a quiet part. It's a street with family houses on both sides, only different in style and size.

Even though it's brimming with life, on a weekday it's as quiet as it is during a Sunday church mass. On weekends it's a completely different story -kids are everywhere- running, screaming, giggling…in short, doing what brats usually do. And right now, I'm really glad that it's a weekday. What makes this silence complete and a bit spooky is the fact that there's almost no traffic in this street. Remember Wisteria Lane from 'Desperate Housewives'? That's kinda how it is. Minus Terry Hatcher and co., of course.

Everyone says that I'm weird for not liking crowds and all, but the thing is that I'm not really all that good with people. Those who're the closest to me know it and don't mind it. But I guess that's because they know why I am the way I am… I wasn't always like this, was I? No, I don't think I was… I used to trust people. Not unconditionally, but still…I used to trust them. Not anymore. I've learned my lesson the hard way.

Completely engrossed in my thoughts, I fail to realize that I've actually passed my house and instead came three houses down from it, to Jon's place. Standing in front of my best friends' house, I hesitate for a brief moment. In the end, I decide that I really need to clear things up. I need to talk to him. Hell, I just need to see him! He's been acting really weird lately, and I can't stand it anymore. I need to know what's going on.

I walk slowly on a small path that leads to the staircase and onto a pretty big porch. It's large enough to have a garden table for four and a small wooden bench and still have more free space. As I go up the stairs I immerse myself in thoughts of what to say to him. How to say all I want to say. How do I start this conversation without blowing up in his face? He just has this uncanny ability to completely piss me off in matter of seconds. Still, he's always been there for me. Always. No matter what the situation was. He was on my side even when he knew I was wrong. Maybe that's why I fell in love with him, and maybe it's just for the fact that we were always together, who knows. All I know is that I've always loved him, just these past few years it's evolved into a different kind of love.

As I slowly walk up the five marble stairs that lead to the door, I smirk to myself remembering our parents. They are the sole reason why we are this way. Our mothers, to be precise. The two of them were best friends in college and when his mom moved here, mine followed. Christ, they even bought houses in the same street after getting married. So you see, it wasn't exactly a shock that Jon and I became this close. Hell, we basically have two sets of parents each and, of course, two houses.

Before I could manage to ring the doorbell, the heavy, dark mahogany door suddenly opened and a tall, slim figure of a business woman appeared in front of me. She looked at me first in surprise, only to break into a warm and kind smile in a matter of seconds. Breaking her eye contact with me, she turned around and walked back into the house, shouting out:

"Jon! Kate's come to see you! Get your lazy but down here!"

I look at my mom's best friend and notice for the billionth time how similar they are…Guess spending so much time with another person makes it unavoidable. Their quirks seem to just rub-off of either one of them to the other. But still, that's so cute! I mean…uhhh…whatever!

Seeing the smile still adorning her face, I can't help but smile back and speak. "Hi aunty! Going out with uncle?" Even in the dim light of a porch light I could still see the pale pink tint cover her cheeks, but only for a short while. Wow! Even grown women blush…That's unexpected.

"Yes, we're going out for a dinner to celebrate his promotion."

"Oh wow, I haven't heard about that! Congrats! And tell uncle I said hi!"

"Thank you, Kate. Go on inside, Jon will be down in a minute."

"Ok, thanks. Have a nice time on your date!" I couldn't stop myself from saying it. The moment I said it, she smiled shyly and walked right by me, going down the set of stairs and into the garage to her car.

I go into the house feeling completely homey in this all too well known place. I'm so familiar with it that I notice the smallest change made in or outside of it. I walk through the short hall opening up into this large room that's supposed to be a combination of dining room and sitting room and turn to my right where the stairs that lead to the first floor are. As I watch them intently I feel myself growing impatient and I can't help but shout:

"Jonathan Reed, drag your but down here! And while we're still young! If that's all right with you, Jonnie-boy!"

Aaah…I really like to annoy him. I know how much he hates the nickname his grandfather gave him. I mean, 'Jonnie-boy' isn't exactly the coolest nickname you can have, right? And besides, whenever I do or say something that annoys him, that actually makes him do what I wanted him to from the beginning. But he usually says something to cover himself up, so that it's not too obvious that he's so easy to control. Like talking back to me or something… I never mind it though. Cause I know him all to well. But, come on…I mean, isn't it easier to do what I told him to from the start? He never could deny my wishes anyway. What…? I'm a controlling bitch, so what? It's not like I asked him to give me a kidney or something…

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming. Just chill princess. And why don't you make yourself useful and grab some soda from the fridge. Oh, and make it two this time. As in, 'for both of us'. " Heh, he's getting better each time.

God, how I like to tease him! I'm never short on small pranks, either, just to annoy him a bit. Because I know he'll never get seriously mad at me. Besides, I never go overboard. I know when and where to stop. Like that last time when he told me to go get soda, I took only one for myself, going completely against my usual self, where I'd get one for each of us. He was so cute sitting on the couch with his arm stretched out, palm facing upward, waiting for his can. I just looked at him with a face of utter confusion and said 'What? Ohhh, did you want one, too?' His mouth was wide open with shock of his 'princess', as he calls me (only he's allowed to, of course), pulling his leg.

I turn to my left and go inside the kitchen, thinking for the umpteenth time that it's way too big for a family of three. Family of seven- maybe, but a three-member family? And the weird thing? Every inch of it is used. Daily. As I open the fridge, I'm greeted with various delicacies, all of which Jon's handiwork. Yeah… The guy can even cook.And I mean like 'Jamie Oliver' cook. He's even better than me. Damn that multi talented, gorgeous, handsome…uhhh…creep? Yeeeah… Never mind.

Guess he can thank our mothers for that…Both our parents basically work 24/7 and Jon and I are usually alone till late in the night, almost every day. Yeah, adulthood sucks. Really sucks. Anyway, both his and my mom tried to teach me how to cook some simple meals couple of years ago so we wouldn't eat junk food all the time. I followed all of their instructions and about three hours later and nine failed attempts, I finally made it. And it was actually edible. Then Jon came in, asked them to explain it to him so he could try too, and about twenty minutes later, he made the perfect dish. Even better than our moms'. And definitely better than my own.

I smirk at his masterpieces and take out the cans, walking back into the 'sitdine' room, as we've called that merge of sitting and dining room since we were like, eight or something, and flop down on the couch. After opening my can of soda, I take the remote and turn on the TV, skimming through boring programs while waiting for Jon. As I'm about to lose my patience and just a step from going upstairs to drag him down, I hear footsteps and turn around to face the stairs and my very slow best friend slash love interest. I'm met with a silhouette of my loved one, coming down the stairs, his hair still dripping wet from the shower he's obviously had just now. And the droplets of water are going down his jaw line and down his neck, continuing on down his chest and down to- . Kate, get a grip!

I quickly turn back to the TV, desperately trying to will this damn blush to just fucking disappear! I can still hear him coming down, slowly and almost soundlessly. I can feel his stare on me, and I just keep praying that he won't notice how flustered I am. Suddenly he flops down just next to me, completely unfazed by how close we are, making me almost drop my soda. Should I be pissed off because of his 'I'm so cool' attitude? Ugh, I have more important things to think about. One of them being how to act cool in his presence... And him not wearing his shirt doesn't help all that much! Well…technically he is wearing it, since it's carelessly thrown over his shoulders, but c'mon! How should I concentrate with him like this, only an inch away from me? I can bloody feel his body heat, for fuck's sake! I look at him from the corner of my eye and speak to him, trying to sound as calm as possible:

"You should really dry your hair. And putting on that shirt might be a good idea, too. It's mid November if you hadn't noticed."

"Oh really? So that's why everyone's wearing long-sleeves and winter jackets!" I exclaim in fake surprise, taking the can of soda that's patiently waiting for me on the small table in front of us. Taking a sip from it, I turn to look at her and see her smirking at me with that look in her eyes. And I know so well what it means… I don't think she's aware of it, though. Her eyes could never lie. Not once. They just speak for themselves and usually go against her. And I can still see myself in them. Even after a year of waiting, I'm still there. She still loves me. And I mean in that 'I want to kiss you, touch you and fuck you' kinda way. …Ugh. Okay, projecting myself here… Loser. I'd never do it, though. Not now, anyway. Not after that.

"So princess, what are we watching tonight?" I ask her with a playful ring to my voice, putting the can back to the table. I know how much she hates me calling her that, but still… I'm the only one she'll allow to call her that. And anyway, it's just my way of payback for all of her little sneak-attacks. Like that time with that damned soda can… God, we're acting like pre-school kids, aren't we? Still… that time she looked so cute with that fake look of confusion on her face. It was worthy of an Oscar, I tell ya.

She looks at me with her big, dark blue eyes and just by looking inside of them, I know I'm in trouble. She's pissed. Lightning-shooting-from-her-eyes pissed. What in the hell did I do now?

"Jon, I want to talk to you." I tell him, my voice firm and unwavering, telling him not to expect me to back off. After putting my soda down on the table right next to his, I turn to him, now facing him with my whole body, and scan his face quickly, only to see that he's worried, but even more so-confused. I guess he didn't expect me to come to his house looking like the Grim reaper in person. Who would? But, this has to be fixed, as soon as possible.

"Huh. What about?" I ask her, trying to keep calm, my mind running through multiple possibilities for this 'talk'. I really did give her a lot of reasons to be like this, didn't I? I sigh, while adjusting myself on the couch so that now I'm leaning against the armrest and facing her completely.

"Don't fuck with me Jonathan." I hiss at him, menace clear in my voice. Steadily, I'm loosing my control and seeing his completely impassive face is just speeding it up. "You know what I'm talking about."

"I'm sorry, but you've got me completely lost." I say calmly, trying to stop this before it gets out of hand. Whatever it is I did this time, I definitely want to avoid her angry outbursts. Looking at her face, I think my plan just about completely backfired. She looks as if she's about to incinerate me with her gaze.

"The fucking support group Jon! That bloody therapy! …What were you thinking?! And where the hell did you find that damn bitch of a shrink?" Damn. I already started shouting. Whenever I become like this, my mind goes blank and I say things I don't mean. But I know very well they will hurt the other person. Even so, I can never stop myself from saying those cruel things. If you ever got to see 'the angry me', you'd probably just want to run away crying. I'm a cruel bitch when it comes to verbal conflicts. I'm aware of that. And I don't intend to change. "What the hell was I thinking… accepting your proposal…"

"What was I thinking?" I say, my voice laced with anger. Doesn't she know? Doesn't she realize how much I worry about her? Isn't it obvious? "Gee, I don't know Kate. Maybe I was worried about you? Ever thought of that?" I say in a mocking voice. "Or maybe I was just pissed that for the past year you've never talked to me about it, about how you felt!" She's really pissing me off! Does she think I'm her enemy or something? I just want to help her, any way that I can. I owe her that much…

"… Wh-what…?" I ask in a small voice, not believing what just slipped from his mouth. He wants me to talk to him about it…? Yeah right! Like that would ever happen.

"So you want me to talk to you? About that? …Okay Jon, so tell me…" This damn jerk is just pissing me off more and more! "…What do you want to know? Do you want me to tell you about all the gruesome details or do you want me to just tell you how it felt for me?" I see him flinch at my words. I know he doesn't want to know. Hell, I wouldn't want to know either. I wish I could just completely forget it. Damn it, it haunts me in my dreams even now. Why can't it just disappear already?! And what the hell has gotten into this guy? Why therapy? Why now? After so much time… What happened?

"Kate…" I choke on my own words. No. I don't want to know. I don't want to hear what that bastard did to her. It's just… I just want to help her. I wish I could somehow right the wrong, if only a little bit. After all, I'm as guilty as he is for what happened to her. If only… If only I could turn back the clock, I would've never left her side…

"Kate, I just want to help you." I look her in the eyes and realize that she's on the verge of crying. Fuck. What did I do now?! I just wanted… FUCK! "Kate. I care about you. A lot. And you know it." Well, with how you've been acting lately…Oh, shut up! …Did I just talk to myself …? I think I'll need help too-soon enough it seems…Ugh…I wish I could just tell her again, or at least show her. …I can't. I shouldn't. Not now. Damn it!

I look at him, at his face, and I know he's honest. But, I just can't make myself talk. Not to him, not to anyone. I lower my head, feelings of utter defeat overwhelming me. I can't stand this anymore. I can't stand his gaze, its way too strong. It's like he wants to pry my mind with it. And my voice still won't come out. I'm afraid if I open my mouth now, I might cry. And I definitely don't need that shit right now. Least of all in front of him.

"I know." I finally speak, somehow managing not to break down in tears. "I know Jon, but what do you want me to say? 'Gee, thanks a million for sending me to a nut house'? Is that it?" I pause, looking him deep into his eyes, trying to find something, anything. When did he learn to hide his feelings so well? "You know what would make me better in no time, don't you Jon? I ask him, knowing that I stepped on a land mine and not caring one bit. He lowers his head, avoiding my eyes.

"Kate. Don't." I say to her with a voice not far from a whisper, my head still lowered. No. Don't go there. Please. Leave that door closed. And for God's sake don't open them. Don't open up the wounds that still haven't healed completely. Don't you know how hard it is for me? How hard this past year was for me? You're not-

"You're not the only one hurting." Oh God. Did I just say that out loud?! I gulp harshly and snap my head back up, expecting to see fury in her eyes. But, instead she looks so…defeated? And with that small smile on her face, she looks as if I just slapped her. Fuck Jon. Just… Fuck.

"I know. I guess I've known it all this time, actually. I even noticed the looks of pity you gave me. I noticed how you were feeling so awkward around me, as if you didn't know me anymore." I can feel the hot tears streaming down my cheeks. I can't stop anymore. It's as if I'm breaking…I can feel my heart being shattered into billion tiny fragments. I chuckle nervously remembering how he used to wipe my tears away the very moment I'd start crying. But not now. Not anymore. Now…he won't touch me unless it's really unavoidable.

"I know Jon. I know. I…" I trail off, my mind going blank making me unable to speak. He's still silent. Why the hell doesn't he say something? Just about anything would be fine right now. I turn my head to my left, where the TV is, just so that I don't have to face him.

I'm speechless. I don't know what to say or do to make her feel better. To make her stop crying. Is there something I can say? It feels like whatever I say just isn't good enough. Damn it! Why does she have to go and make everything so damn hard? Why can't she just accept the things I say without blowing up in my face, or better yet-crying? Give me some slack here, dammit! I just want to help you!

"Kate, you know I'm always here for you." I start, unsure of what it is I'm trying to say. From where I stand, it's better to say something instead of just sitting there like a dumb fuck. "Whatever you need me for, I'll be there. Just name it." Well, that sounded pretty damn cool, if I say so myself. And I got her attention too. Plus, she's not crying anymore. Yup. Now she's… angry? The hell? What just happened here? I thought what I said would make her feel better?

"Then…kiss me. Like you did a year ago."

Wrong. I fucked up. I should've just kept my mouth shut. Now we're back to this topic again. What should I do now? Just come out and say: 'I'd love to, honey, but, y'see, ever since that incident I've been afraid of touching you, 'cause you looked like you might break if I did. Oh, but, just for the record, I'd fuck your brains out if not for that.' ?! Yeah, right. Shit! She really doesn't understand what I'm going through.

"…-ch me." I speak again, seeing how he ignored my previous request. But, judging by his face, I don't think he heard me quite well.

"Huh? Did you say something?" Jon said, raising his eyebrows in questioning manner.

Thought so. Should I say it one more time? Maybe pretend I never said anything at all? Ugh. No. I can't chicken out now. I need to clear everything up with him.

"I said-touch me" He looks really shocked now. I think I made him misunderstand… "What I mean is…I want you to stop acting like I'm a leper or something. You made me feel like you'd rot or something if you touched me. You just pushed me aside… I know you've always been there for me, but…" I sigh deeply, trying to focus, not wanting to loose my train of thought. "But in the end, you just distanced yourself from me, being there just sort of like a hologram- both picture and sound are there, but not the actual person."

W-what…? Is that how she saw all of that? She…I…Oh God. I think I'm gonna be sick. So, she's basically telling me that I made her feel worse?! All I did was in vain? …All of it? "All I did I did for your sake, and you know it. What did you want me to do? Jump on you just after you've been-" I choke. What the hell was I about to say? Damn my mouth and this damned tongue that seems to work faster than my bloody brain!

Oh, that's just great. Perfect. Blame it on the fucked up little girl. Way to go Jon. Way to go. "Hypocrite." I was expecting this reaction after calling him that. His eyes have gone so wide that it would be ridiculously funny in any other situation. Not right now, though.

"W-what?" Did she just call me a hypocrite? What the fuck?!

"I said you're a hypocrite Jonathan." I sigh and continue. "It wasn't for me. Or rather, not just for me. It was you who was afraid. You acted as if you were scared that I'd break down if you so much as brushed against me while walking by." As I stay quiet for a while, I notice a look of disbelief cross his face. "Oh Jon, did you honestly think I didn't know? Seriously now… I probably know you better than your own parents."

Damn you Kate. Damn you. You're too much. How could you be so cruel? All this time I've been tip-toeing around you and now you tell me that you knew all along? Damn it. Now I'm pissed. "So, care to explain why you never said anything?" I say raising my voice by a notch, not being able to control that red blind rage that's started to consume me. "What the fuck Kate? How could you just let me be so– "

"Blind?" I interrupt him, noticing his tone. I know he's angry, but c'mon. What was I supposed to do? Whatever I said wouldn't have worked. "Do you know how many times I tried talking to you Jon? About everything. And you'd just pretend not to notice it. What was I supposed to do? Force you to listen?" We're not getting anywhere with all this talk. We're just running around in circles. And I'm seriously starting to loose my patience now!

Was I? Was I really blind? No, she's wrong! I know why I did what I did. It wasn't just my imagination. I know she was hurting! And I know I was right not to touch her. Though, I might have gone overboard with that…But it wasn't exactly a situation you think about actually happening, was it now? It came as a shock to the system. "Kate…I… The only thing I can say is that all of that was really tough. For both of us." I look at her, a small smile on my face. I never minded it being like that. Not once. I'm glad she could rely so much on me, actually. "I mean, you haven't even told your parents about it. It was just you and me, all the way through it. I didn't know what to do, how to act…I was just so lost and confused…" And scared. Mostly scared. Angry. Sad. So many emotions were just running through me at that time…

I sigh lowering my head in the process. It's no use. I have to break this chain of never-ending reminiscence. That's not what I'm here for. I want him to change, not to give me explanations or lame excuses. I want him, how he used to be. When I was still…the old me. "All I needed was you, Jon, and you knew it. You know it, don't you? That I still need you. I'd be fine if only we could be the way we were before…the incident. Even though I'd like us to continue what we started that day more than anything."

She's really an expert in dealing death blows. Doesn't she now the meaning of the word 'taboo'? That's what this is! A friggin' taboo! "Kate, I'm sorry, but I don't think that's possible. I'm your friend, and that's-"

"You are? Really? Funny, I thought you were avoiding me these last few months. Maybe I was wrong?" I say annoyed that he keeps avoiding talking about us. What we were, what we could've been… "Nope, it's you who avoided to look me in the eyes, avoided to hang out with me and even avoided some of my calls. A friend? Not lately, you haven't been." I say, spitting the words as if they were poison. I know they hurt him as if they were….

Now I'm pissed. Royally pissed. That was low. Lower than low. "Don't shit with me, you spoiled little brat! I've always been there for you, day and night! Should I have just ignored you instead? Would that make you less ungrateful?!" I'm shouting, but I don't really care anymore. How did this happen? When did all that shit between us become solely my fault?

I stare at him, my mouth slightly parted, trying to make a sound but failing miserably. Finally I find my voice and say calmly but emotionlessly: "I just want my best friend back. That's all I'm asking for. All I dare to hope for…" Feeling that tears are about to come rolling down from my eyes, I get up quickly, confusing him and consequently rendering him speechless. I turn my back to him, so that I don't have to face him, and just stand there like the idiot that I am, waiting for something, a word, a line, anything. Talk Jon, please!

I just sit here, on this damned couch, my mouth agape, and watch her as she gets up ready to go. To leave me. I have to say something. Just stop her from leaving. If it ends like this…we'll be on square one again. "Kate, I–"

"I'm tired. It's been a long, busy day. I think I'm gonna go home now. Thanks for the soda." I say before walking away from him, unable to keep my calm, not wanting to listen to what he's gonna say. In the end, we didn't get anywhere with all this rambling. It's back to square one, isn't it?

"Kate…" I say almost inaudibly, dumbfounded by her cold tone and demeanor. She was never like this. Ever. She never looked so…distant.

"See you tomorrow at school!" I shout from the door before leaving the house, and then walk outside and close the door behind me. Fuck. I'm crying again. Stop it you dumb eyes! If this goes on I'll seriously dehydrate! So just stop. I don't want to cry anymore. I repeat that line in my head over and over again, but tears don't stop.

As I walk into the darkness, I look around the peaceful street of my childhood and realize that it's completely gone. I'll never be that innocent, happy little girl I once was. Never again. Well, never innocent. But happy-who knows? I know I'll never stop hoping. I sigh and walk down the street passing by two neighbor houses before reaching my own. Ahhh…Home Sweet Home.

XXX

I hate lunchtime in school. Despise it. There are just too many people. As I already mentioned, I'm not really good with people. Give me a blood-thirsty crocodile anytime; just don't make me act all civilized and nice to these baboons. Ugh. I think I'm getting claustrophobic.

"Umm… Kate?"

I turn to my right, meeting dark-brown eyes of my friend, locks of the same color falling into them. As usual, he sat next to me to my right, gaining a good viewpoint over the most of cafeteria.

"Yeah, Christian?" I say with an irritated voice, not being in the mood to talk. Not to him, not to anyone. I just need my alone-time. And that's actually a nice way of describing a 'fuck off if you don't want to get hurt' feeling I'm having right now. I guess he really must have a death wish to actually ignore all the signs that were basically screaming- 'don't touch-will bite'. Or did he just ignore them? The bastard!

"Ahh, I can feel so much love in that tone of yours, Mrs. 'don't touch or I'll bite'. Spitting venom from the early morning, are we?" he says smirking teasingly at me. Damn that ass! He was ignoring the signs!

"Did you want something or do you just want to piss me off?" I spit out already pissed. He knows I have a low boiling point. So, why does he do that? Just for fun, or at least that's what he told me when I asked him that question some time ago.

"You're already pissed." I hear from the other side of the table. I focus my attention to the girl sitting right in front of me, her small heart-shaped face wearing a fierce frown, long blond hair falling forward and covering her face slightly.

"Touché." I reply, glaring at the owner of a pair of piercing green eyes.

"C'mon, Lucy, don't give her even more reasons to be an ass." I hear Chris speak. "Let her calm down. And hopefully, become a bit smaller ass. If possible." He says, turning his attention back to me. And still having that damn smirk plastered on his face! My killing urges have suddenly risen again…. Can'. Not now, anyway. On the way home, maybe? When there's no one around…and he's walking home alone…and then he hears a rustling sound behind him…and he turns only to see a little kitty staring up at him. He smiles at the cute sight, only to be attacked from behind. By me! And then, we have a close up on the pond of blood slowly creating out of the top part of the screen…Hey, when did my killing fantasy turn into a movie script? Never mind…

"..te. Kate!" I snap my head to my right, feeling a slight stinging pain in my right forearm. Did he just pinch me? I see Chris chuckling at the look of shock clearly visible on my face. "Welcome back into the world of living. Where'd you go?"

"To a world of perfect crime." I murmur, flashing him the king of creepy smiles. He looks at me, starts laughing and says: "I don't want to know, do I?" I smile at him and answer immediately: "Nope."

"Uh, anyway, Kate, your creepiness aside, we-," he waves his hand between him and Lucy, "Wanted to talk to you."

"What about?" I say confused, looking between the both of them questioningly. Damn, I don't like Lucy's expression! I'm in deep shit, aren't I? But…why? What did I do? Don't tell me- That has to be it. They definitely noticed. They must have.

"Oh, drop the act. You know very well what we want to talk about!" Lucy shouts out, earning more than a few curious looks of the student body. She's never been the one to care, though. She's one of those persons that live by their own rules, disregarding everyone else's 'kind advices'. Her 'bullshit threshold' is even lower than mine. Just, unlike me, she lacks diplomacy. That is, she doesn't have the ability to pretend that she's nice and good, and on the other side being just an asshole saying one thing and thinking the exact opposite. Guess that's why no one likes her all too much… But I love her. She's the one to slam me against the ground when I become too 'diplomatic'.

"What happened between you two?" Chris asks with a worried tone, not noticing a death glare coming from the opposite side of us. Ouch, he's dead. He should know better than to interrupt Lucy's angry outbursts.

"Nothing." I say firmly, trying to sound as convincing as possible. Can I really fool them? It's a hard bargain with Chris who's a walking-talking-lying detector and Lucy who's an expert in interrogation. I even once mentioned that they should consider becoming CIA agents in the future. They'd be top of the class, I'm sure of it.

"Don't you dare bullshit me, Kate!" Lucy growls. We've got an animal loose here. Call PETA! Or maybe wild life rescue? Anyone that knows how to deal with a beast like this one. Oh, I think I just saw her baring her canines at me. Maybe she wants to eat me? I certainly hope not.

"What did you do to him?! Why is this happening? Talk!" I notice her outstretched arm and follow the direction she's pointing at. Further away from us, I see a tip of sandy blond hair and a group of (fan)girls around him. Jon. "Why the hell is he sitting alone, surrounded by a bunch of psycho fan girls and even talking to them? And… .God. He's even smiling at them! Kate!" I look at Lucy, seeing her look honestly worried. And that's something you don't see very often. That's something I don't want to see. It always makes me feel as if she's a porcelain doll about to break. And why the hell is she this worried over that idiot?! It's not like the world will end if we're in a fight!

"First of all, what makes you think I did something to him? Second of all, why the hell do you show me that martyrs face? Why do you worry so much about us? Or is it that you worry about him? Maybe you should go and comfort him, huh Lucy?" I spit out annoyed that they are meddling in our business. Our fight-our problem. So but off.

"Kate!" Chris's voice makes me flinch a little. I've never seen him this way… so serious. And his voice has never been this fierce. He's always been a clown-type of guy-always making us laugh and taking away the seriousness from our everyday lives. Looking back to Lucy, I realize the reason behind his behavior-she looks devastated. And I fell like crap. I put that look on her face. Damn it Kate! Can't you do anything right?!

I look down to my half-eaten plate and sigh heavily. But it doesn't help. I can sigh all I want, it won't make me feel better. So, the only thing left to do is to just silently walk away. No, I'm not running away. I'm just…relieving them from my overbearing presence. God, I'm so full of crap… Yeah, I'm running away, so what? It's my own lame choice. They don't need me here right now…I'll just make things worse. I know myself that much, y' know.

I get up slowly, not looking at either of them, take my plate and, as if I'm completely unfazed with what just happened, speak up calmly "I'm gonna go back first. See you guys in class." I walk away as fast as I possibly can and still try to look calm, not caring in the slightest that it actually makes me look like a complete bitch. I can still feel their eyes on my back…I'm sorry Lucy, but this is how I am. I can't help it. I'll definitely try to make it up to you. That is, if you don't give up on me before that… They've known about it only for a while, but it feels as if they already can't take the load of it. I don't blame them, though. Ahh, whatever. I'll be fine on my own. I don't need either of them. I don't. I really don't.

"Hey, hey, c'mon Lucy, don't be like that. You know she didn't mean it. We just pushed her buttons, and she turned bitch on us…well, mostly on you. She knows what to say to hurt us, that's her forte. You know all of that, don't you?" I hear Chris speak to an obviously lifeless Lucy, as I'm walking toward them. I saw most of what was happening at their table, but now I'm just confused. What made Lucy like this? Or is it 'who'? Did Kate say something to her? That girl can really be a royal bitch sometimes…Even knowing that, I still love her…Masochist much? Uhh…Never mind. Let's forget about that for now…

"Hey guys, finished eating? We should go back to class." I say cheerfully with a wide, fake smile on my face. They shouldn't notice it's fake, right? Right…? They look at me with 'surprise' written all over their faces, not saying a word.

"You saw everything, didn't you?" I hear a small voice speak. Lucy.

"Yeah, I did." I reply immediately. There's no reason for me to lie about that. They know me all to well.

"So…you waited for her to go away, and then came here, right? Why? What's going on Jon? What's this all about? You've never had a fight like this!" I hear Chris ask, obviously worried by this situation.

"Even we fight, Chris…Just…it's been a while since we last fought." I say trying to cut short this useless interrogation. I really don't want to talk about it. It's between the two of us. "I have to go. I'll see you guys in class. Later."

"Jon, wait!" is the last thing I hear before walking away from them. Ahh…I really want to go home. I so don't want to be here right now. I feel like I'm being suffocated…This atmosphere is just…ugh. And seeing her isn't exactly helping. Ah, Home Sweet Home… how I wish I was there…

Okay guys,this is the first chapter.I hope you'll like it.I tried something new here,not sure if it worked out...Please review! Good or bad,they're both welcome. Hope to hear your thoughts on this! The next chapter will be heavier than this one-emotionally. At least I hope I'll manage to make it that way...