Authors' Note: Okay, congratulations! You've made it to chapter three! If you are Mr. Logan, extra congrats for reading it before we both die. If you are not Mr. Logan, enjoy. And review. We love reviews! Except those which say mean things with no actual feedback. Oh, Mr. Logan, we hope you enjoy it too.
Chapter Three: What the Sock?
"You woke up on the washer? And I thought it couldn't get any weirder. First, I woke up naked on the front lawn yesterday after the paper boy decided he was going to impale my ass with the morning paper. Then that afternoon, this deer chick dressed like an Indian came up to me. She touched my forehead and then grew me a flower out of her hand – out of her hand!"
"Yes, deer chick. She was a deer, then she was a chick. Deer… Chick. That defies the laws of nature!" She then mumbles almost inaudibly, "As do hand flowers, though they were very beautiful, like… never mind."
"Niz, we defy the laws of nature."
"…True. Not your average teenage girls have telepathy."
Speaking of which, I begin to think, why aren't we using it?
We look towards the window, our eyes drawn by the sudden motion of the curtain, which ripples as if a wind has blown.
Wait, isn't that window closed?
...Yes, yes it is, but you know my house. These things happen all the time.
Yes, Nizhoni begins in thought, "yes."
"Speaking of weird things happening, I forgot to tell you about this man who was in my bedroom last night..."
"Voulez-vous choucher avec moi, ce soir," Niz sings as she begins to dance seductively. "A man, you say."
"Well, I was feeling a tad lonely… and he was kind of cute…" I begin, jokingly, pausing for dramatic effect. "Wait, wait, wait, it wasn't like that. It wasn't like that at all. It was more of a, me impaling him with random objects."
"Violence is a great way to start a relationship there, Ren. It's no wonder why people come to you for relationship advice."
"Hah! Yeah, 'cause I'm so good at that kind of thing," I say, my voice thick with sarcasm. "But no! He was creepy! He comes in my room, picks up one of my bras, then makes so much frickin' noise he wakes me up in the middle of my… actually a rather bad dream. Then he gets about this close to me," I indicate the probably over-exaggerated proximity the creeper was to my face. Forgetting my previous comment, I flail one of my arms about, exclaiming, "And I don't even think he knew what the thing was! …The bra, I mean."
"Ren, are you aware you have no arm past your elbow?"
I look down to where my hand should be. Nothing is there. In a panic I slap Nizhoni. She falls to the floor, seemingly lifeless.
It takes a moment for everything to register, but only a moment and then I begin to scream. Rushing to Nizhoni's limp body, I shake her, yelling her name and trying any way I can think of to awaken her. She is nothing but dead weight. I check her pulse. Thankfully, that still beats, though faint. Her breathing seems normal but I cannot figure it out.
Out of nowhere Ren slaps me with her invisible hand. I go flying backwards. When I wake up I see Ren screaming shaking someone. Oh my God, that's me. Am I dead? I think to myself. Just then a movement catches my eye from the corner of the room. It's Nasharja and some guy who I assume to be the mystery man from Ren's story. And they're laughing hysterically. I see Ren check my heart beat and breathing. I am still alive. How long have they been there? Does Ren not realize that she's still missing a huge chunk of her arm? I begin to laugh. Ren looks up and screams and falls backwards, landing with a thump on the ground.
"Ho…how…how…." Ren stammers as she looks back and forth between my body and me.
Just then the swirl of darkness creeps around me, I collapse onto the ground. I wake up back inside my normal body. Now Ren is laughing. Rubbing my eyes, I question her sudden amusement. However, my inquiry is drowned by her chuckles gone awry, for she is now snorting. Once calmed down, she points to my head and meows.
I rub my head to find that I have sprouted another set of ears. Not just any ears, cat ears. I run to the mirror and examine the bright orange with black stripes on top of my head.
Realizing that Nasharja and Mystery Man are still in the corner, I think to Ren, I don't want to alarm you, but I think your lover is in the corner.
My who? WHAT? When did I ever say he was my lover?
Well, just now. Don't you want to go run into his arms?
No.. No, not really.
I wonder how long they've been there…
Our eyes meet.
Want to freak them out?
We turn, advancing towards them quickly. However, when I look over, I see Ren has stopped moving and is, in fact, sinking. I don't notice until half her body has gone missing. I barely start to react before I am nudged to the side by a suddenly serious Mystery Man. He reaches down and pulls her back up. She begins to sink again. He pulls her back up, only this time he pulls her way above the ground to where her feet are dangling in the air.
She begins screaming, "Put me down! Put me down!"
He does as commanded.
"I'm Sheamus… You know? The creeper you were talking about earlier?" he says s he gets really close to Ren's face to make fun of her earlier exaggeration.
Nasharja then steps forward, still in her Indian garb. She opens her mouth to speak, but stops herself as if trying to find the right words. The giddy gleam has vanished from her eyes being replaced with a stunning seriousness. She opens her mouth again:
"Here's what you need to know…"