A/N: this is slash and the speaker is male. One-shot. Also, apologies, this was originally in a much different format which I was unable to transfer to fictionpress.

Light

It is seven AM

And I am watching you

The morning sun lights your face

And you glow

I want to run my hand

Through your soft hair

Beginnings

You and I have been friends

Ever since freshman year

When I saw you fall down the stairs

You didn't make a sound

The entire way down

And all I heard was

A CRASH

I held back the urge to laugh

(Inappropriate, I know)

And called down to you

"Any broken bones?"

You burned bright red and shook your head

Trying to hide, trying to fade into the floorboards

Before you ran I held out my hand

Wanting to say "I'll take care of you"

And ever since

I have

Sorrows

The first time I saw you cry

I thought my heart would shatter

You looked so pitiful

All the hope gone from your eyes

Splotchy cheeks, red eyes, quivering lip

Signs of weakness

Helplessness

And it made me love you

Because I know you

I know your strength

I know your pain

And I know you will overcome it all

I wanted to kiss you that day

On your hand, your cheek, your lips (bitten raw)

Everywhere and anywhere

But I didn't

I couldn't

I wouldn't

Not to you

Hate

I see the hate that burns in your eyes

When you see them

And their kind

My kind

He sat next to us for ten months

Talked with us

Worked with us

Laughed with us

And you would sneer

And glare

I would hear hateful words muttered

And I became numb

You hate me

And you don't even know it

For days, weeks, months

I was in anguish

Your hate causing me to hate

Myself

My world fell to pieces

And in the middle there you stood

With that god awful smirk affixed on your face

So I went to him

And I did things to him

With him

And I wished it were you

God, I wish it were you

Jealousy

I hate her

I hate her

I hate her

I hate her blonde hair

Her pink lips

Her manicured nails

Her high pitched giggle

Her utter girliness

That draws you to her

I hate her smile

Especially when I know it's for you

I hate her body

Her soft skin

Her big tits

Her long legs

The dimple on her chin

Because I know

It is what I could never be

Lust

You sit on my bed

Splayed across

My Spiderman sheets

And I am staring at your butt

I can't help myself

You turn your head and laugh

Not seeing me at all

And wiggle your rear end

At me

I blush and you tell me

That I am adorable

And I think maybe you know

Maybe you do see

Maybe you feel it too

And so I reach over

And grab you by your arm

(I notice how smooth you are)

And kiss you

hard

We become

An entanglement of limbs

Our bodies melding together

Hot and sweaty

On top of me you lay heavy

I feel out of touch with reality

As I look up at you

And see fire in your gray eyes

(Your anger fierce and frightening)

I am afraid of you

But only a little

Your hands – warm – find their way

Underneath my Led Zeppelin t-shirt

And run across my hot skin

Gliding, sliding

(I'm dying)

Our breaths – heavy – intermingle

And you are everywhere

You amaze me

It is as if you are the expert

The one who has been waiting for this

To happen for so long

And all I can do is breathe

Pant

Sigh

Scream

As you enter me

Move in me

Feel me

When you come you curse

Loudly

And when I follow

I tell you

I love you

(Truth in passion)

And when we lay together

Stinking of sweat and sex

I say it again

And again

And again

I love you

I love you

I love you

I can't stop

I feel tears coming to my eyes

And my heart is pounding too hard

Ready to leap out of my chest

You don't know what to do

You stare at me

I don't even hope for

Words in return

(Or anything really)

I wait for you to run

As far away from me

(the fool I am)

As you can

But instead

You lay your palm

Over my lips

And you say

In a low strained voice

"Don't do this"

Don't you see?

I can't help

How much I need you

How much I want you

How much I love you

Your hand moves to my shoulder

And you grip me so hard

(Pushing me away

Pulling me closer)

I think I will have a bruise

I melt under your touch

Your searching fingers

Your scrutinizing gaze

And you say

"You don't love me"

Over and over

You deny me

Hurt me

Betray me

Destroy me

And the world spins faster and faster

Around us

We are all that matter

And your words (cold and harsh) suffocate me

(It feels as if my soul is withering away)

I touch you (feather light and fleeting)

Just to know you are real

And not some monster

Or demon

Risen from Hell

To torture me

Where has my best friend gone?

You explode

All of a sudden

And my face stings

From your violence

And my cheek is still wet

From your desperate kisses

Saying sorry

Over and over

Until it becomes one long

Sorrowful howl

I don't begin to cry

Until you are gone

And I am alone

Naked

Enfolded in blankets that smell of you

That still hold your warmth

My body hurts

My head hurts

My heart hurts

I want to sleep

I am exhausted, now

But all I can do

Is stare at the white walls

And think of you

And wish

That you were here

With me

Heal

I walk through the hallways

Head hung low

As long as I concentrate

On the tiled pattern

I'll be okay

But something makes me look up

God, I wish I hadn't

Your arms are wrapped around her

Locked in an embrace

I freeze

And I run

I fly through the school

As if I had wings

And I hop down the stairs

Two by two

I don't even have the mind to scream

As my feet catch air

And I begin to truly fly

And then fall

The shock of the impact

Causes tears to form

And I hide from embarrassment

And hold my head in my hands

I almost don't hear the voice

Calling from above

Asking me

"Are you okay?"

I don't answer

Because I don't know

I don't know if I'll ever be okay

But then a pair of black sneakers

Come into my sight

And a hand is held out to me

Pale skin, long fingers, looks strong

And I grasp it

Holding on for my life

And I am forced upwards

Into the arms

Of a stranger

And I feel a strange feeling

Of new beginnings

And happiness

A/N: Please review! Thanks for reading.