baseball pitcher kyle farnsworth likes to wear tight shirts that show off his pecs. he's ten pounds of redneck in a five pound sack and we love him for it.

The Ballad of Kyle Farnsworth

Kyle Farnsworth is a sexy, sexy man
with a penchant for kicking metal fans.
A hot-head and raw since the early days,
everyone knows of Farnsworth's charming ways.
He'll dazzle you and take you for a ride,
and promise you that you'll be by his side.
And in nine months when the baby is due,
Kyle will place all of the blame on you.
"I thought you were on the pill," he will say.
"I was," you'll cry, "but I forgot that day."
"I'm not paying for it," he'll bitch and moan.
"I've got enough kids," he'll whimper and groan.
Ladies, let this be a lesson to you all:
Heed its warnings and for Kyle never fall.