35A/N: Siiiigh...This one was so not planed...it just crept up on me, jumped me and forced me to write it. Honestly! :twiddles her fingers: Yeah...anyway,this turned out to be the first multi-chapter slash story to be published here,so...be kind with me? It is my first...
Disclaimer: Mine and born from a silly conversation. And not all that good, in case you were thinking of stealing^^ .MxM. BoyxBoy. Basically,gay romance,so if you don't like it,turn away while there's still time :mwahahaha:
Oh and ENJOY :)
P.S.I figured I should put up two extra warnings here: first-this story will have quite a bit of swearing, hence I rated it M. That'll be the only M rate deserving thing until smut starts happening. Second-it's a story that actually has a plot and the romance is not the plot, but the product of said plot. It's also quite slow-mo story, so if it's not your cup of tea...sorry.
~~XoXoX~~
Sometimes I really hate girls.
Sometimes I think they're the plague of this world and they should just be exterminated.
They're overbearing, too demanding, cruel, vicious, manipulative, two-faced….I could go on for days. Or weeks. Even months. And I still wouldn't run out of all their faults. Not by far.
So, yeah, I hate them.
Sometimes.
The rest of the time, I love them. Heck, I am one of them! That's right, I, 'the girl hater supreme', am a girl. Not your average girl or girly-girl, but still-a girl. And all this hatred has its rightful reason. And said reason is sitting right in front of me with a pained expression on his face and repeating just one thing, over and over again…
"Why did she do this to me? What did I do wrong? How could she just…" again, like many times before, he trailed off and lowered his head in resignation.
Looking at him, my anger gets rekindled and I feel like pummeling my best friend into the ground. And not holding back. Just going all Rambo on her until I'm satisfied. …Can I? Please?
Let me explain the present situation … The guy sitting in front of me is the object of my one-year-long one-sided love. And he is my best friends' boyfriend. And it seems that my best friend just didn't take well being separated from her 'beloved' for a whole month during summer vacation, so she accepted consolation from big, strong arms of another man. That's not all she accepted, though…. It wasn't all that heart-wrenching for her to spread her legs for that 'consolation guy'. In fact, she did it so quickly that he decided to share his amazement with such development with his buddies. And it got here. To his ears. That damned bitch. What's her problem? She has the one I've wanted for so long all to herself, and she's still acting like a complete slut?! Dammit! GAWD! I really, really need to punch something…someone….And now!
But that's not all! That's not where it ends. Nooo, of course there's more…. On the first day of school she actually admitted to her adultery and 'repented' asking for forgiveness saying she did it because she felt lonely(hmpf!) and feared that he'd forgotten her(as if!), only to dump him today, on Friday. And after he forgave her welcoming her back with arms wide open. So now I'm sitting here, with the object of my adoration right in front of me asking for my help, pleading me with his eyes.
Looking into his eyes I sigh heavily and speak up.
"Fine. Okay. I'll do it. I'll talk to her, try to reason with her. So, Bradley, try to calm yourself down and get your spirits up. It'll all be good, you'll see. Trust me."
I tell him, flashing him my best fake smile, trying to make him think how there's actually truth in those words. But, I think he already knows, deep down inside. Once Sheila breaks something off, it stays that way. I used to respect her for that, but now…now I just want everything back the way it was, just so I can see him smile again. Even if he IS hers. I'd still be happy. I can be satisfied with little crumbs of his affection. As long as he can smile at me with that shine in his eyes, the rest is just a technicality. Yeah, I'm that pathetic. Guess what? I don't give a damn.
"Thank you Taylor. I don't know what I'd do without you…. Thank you so much!"
I hate it when he makes that kind of expression because of her….The face that tells me I'll never be able to replace her. She holds the key to his heart. And that just pisses me off even more! She completely changed him. She turned him into an obedient puppy waiting for its master's orders. How did she do that? How did she manage to change him so much? He was always so calm and composed, dealing with each and every situation with such ease that even adults revered him. He wasn't a perfect person, just…unique. That's what drew me to him. He was a world for himself, even though he was extremely social. He was someone that everyone loved and envied at the same time. Even I envied him at first. Then I got to know him. And fell in love. And lost in the game of love to my best friend. I never could compare to her, so I guess I wasn't that surprised. It hurt, though. Somehow, it just seemed…wrong. She seemed so weird. It's not just jealousy talking. I think. Maybe shock caused that kind of feeling? Anyway, guess I have a job to do. Oh goody.
Walking down the hallway almost completely devoid of students was a slim figure of a girl. Even though a girl, her presence was strong and her face showed determination that was in her heart. Her step was calm even though a bit hurried, her features gentle, but darkened with a frown. Coming up to a group of girls, she slowed down, sighed and closed her eyes shut tight just for a split of second, as if trying to calm the fury that was evidently raging within her. Coming to a stop just couple of feet away from her target she spoke with a firm and unwavering voice.
"Sheila, can I talk to you?"
The moment she heard her own voice, she flinched. She didn't mean to sound so angry. Sure she was pissed, but she wanted to at least try to have a civilized talk with her best friend. She deserved that much. And it's not like Sheila knew about the feelings Taylor had for Bradley. She made sure of that. That day when Sheila told her that Bradley asked her out, she swore to herself she'd never let either one of them now. It's not Sheila's fault that he liked her, he just did. He liked her, not Taylor. Even now, thinking about it made her heart ache and her conscience scream 'coward' at her. At that time, almost six months ago, Taylor reasoned with herself coming to a conclusion that love comes and goes, but friends stay. So she gave up. Without even trying. And now, she hated herself for it. She knew better now. But she was too late. Past just couldn't be undone.
Turning around to face her was Sheila, with a half smile on her face and a rather peculiar glint in her eyes.
"Taylor! Damn, girl! Where've you been? I was looking all over the school for you!"
'Calm down. Shouting at her won't solve anything. Sure it'd make you feel better, but that's not why you're here. You're here for him.' Taylor thought to herself, repeating the last thought as if it were a hex meant to calm her restless spirit down. She suspected that it was already useless trying to cool down, seeing how she needed to cling to her thoughts as if clinging for dear life in order to feel just a bit calmer.
"I was having a little chat with my friend that just happens to be your boyfriend. And I came to hear straight from you what the heck is going on in that head of yours? Why the hell did you dump him when he actually forgave you? I really don't get you." I hate it when I'm right. Should have known that simply thinking happy thoughts doesn't automatically make me happy. Or calm. Ugh….Take deep breaths, Taylor. And for crying out loud, calm down!
Sheila snorted at Taylor's frustrated expression and flashed her with a domineering smirk. She spoke calmly, her stance showing authority over the present situation.
"Ex."
"Wha…?" Taylor tried speaking, failing miserably. She noticed the shift in her best friend's demeanor and was caught off guard with such development. She couldn't help but notice that it felt as if she was standing in front of a complete stranger. She'd never seen her best friend like this and didn't know how to act. In fact, she didn't know if she was supposed to act at all. She settled for not doing anything, if only for now. Maybe she'll understand if she just waited for Sheila to take further action. Not for a single moment did she realize that that was completely opposite to what she intended to do. The present situation made her quickly forget her purpose. All she could give her attention to right now was the irritated face of her best friend.
"Bradley is my ex-boyfriend."
Sheila spoke once again, sounding more than just irritated. It was as if she was angry. But, what the heck could she be angry about? It was Taylor that was supposed to be fuming right now, not Sheila. Or at least, that was how Taylor felt right now. She was the one that had the right to be mad. She was the one that lost the most, after all. Sheila was the unprecedented winner. No matter the situation.
"'Bradley'? Since when do you call him that? You used to call him 'Brad'…For Christ's sake, you even called the poor guy 'muffin', but never 'Bradley'…"
"Used to. That's the key word, dear Taylor. I thought you'd be happy, us finally breaking up."
The tone in her voice told Taylor that something was seriously wrong. For some unfathomable reason, she sounded as if loosing patience with Taylor. Suddenly, Taylor felt chill creeping up her spine. What did she do to make Sheila so annoyed with just the mere sight of her? This whole situation made Taylor completely baffled and lost, as if trying to see in the dark. It was useless, of course.
"Why would I-"
Swiftly, Sheila interrupted her, irritated and raising her voice just a bit.
"Aw, c'mon honey, don't play dumb with me. I noticed it long ago. Those secret glances in his direction…The way your eyes would shine when you looked at him. All the signs of being in love…."
She…she knows? …No way. It can't be. I made sure….Taylor could feel panic rising within her, making her choke on her words the moment she tried to speak. Still, she forced herself and managed to choke out a response to Sheila's taunting.
"I have no idea what you're talking about. What 'secret glances'? What 'in love'? Do you even hear what you're saying?"
"Nice try. But, y'see, I know I'm right. I know you that much. And I can tell by the expression on your face that I hit a jack-pot." For a moment, Sheila trailed off, lifting her head up as if in deep thought. Moments later, she continued talking, looking Taylor straight in the eyes, her lips curling up in a venomous smirk. "Did you know? I was trying to find your soft spot for quite some time. I was being really patient and all, waiting and searching, watching you. I was being really careful too, so I wouldn't ruin everything. So if it turned out that you simply liked him, all this wouldn't have been half the fun…. And guess what? Patience paid off! You fell in love and then I took him away."
"W-what? Why? If you knew how I felt, than why…all this…." She's lying. She must be. She wouldn't…she's my friend!
Ignoring Taylor's question and the look of desperation on her face, Sheila chuckled and continued her confession.
"Oh, and the funny part? That looser actually had a thing for you at first. Until I told him you already had someone special in your life, that is. After that, it was all smooth sailing. After a couple of weeks, he was basically eating from the palm of my hand. And your face…God, I loved the face you made when I told you he asked me out. Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you, it was actually me who asked him out. Not the other way around."
"Why? Why Sheila? I thought you were my friend! My best friend….How could you do this to me…?"
"Hahaha…it's always about you, isn't it…I never noticed that before. But my eyes are wide open now. I won't let you deceive me anymore."
"What…? Deceiving you?! I think you're pointing your finger in the wrong direction! You're the one that played me for a fool, not the other way around!"
"Still acting all innocent? Taylor, Taylor…That won't do…"
"What the hell is your problem Sheila?!"
"My problem? That's easy-it's YOU. Seriously now…You know what pisses me off the most? That you swore to me that I'm your best friend. And in all this time I knew you, you not once proved that statement. You never talked to me. About anything. You just used me so you wouldn't be alone. And it took me quite some time to realize it. When I did, it hurt. Cause I told you everything. I spilled my soul in front of you and you just listened. That confused me into thinking that I was really important to you, a true best friend. Boy, was I wrong, eh Taylor?"
"What…That's not true. It's not like that! I-"
"Cut the crap Taylor! Stop lying! I don't believe a word you say. Not anymore. I really thought of you as my best friend. Did you know? You were the first person to enter my room-or my house, for that matter. You were the first one I ever thought could actually understand me. The real me. As it turns out, you were as fake as the rest. Thinking only about you, never stopping to think of me….Your supposed 'best friend'"
"See, that's when I came to the brilliant idea of taking him away from you. I figured, since you look only at him, if I were next to him, you'd be looking at me to. The way you were supposed to from the beginning. And then, after some time, I'd be in your mind more than him. I'd finally win against him."
"Sheila…I…"
"Look, I gotta go now. See ya around, Taylor."
Looking at the retreating form of her best friend, Taylor felt confused and miserable. 'Is this how she felt all this time?' Not wanting to let it all just end like this, she gathered the last of her courage to shout out to her.
"Sheila. Wait! Sheila!" Please, turn around…Sheila…
XXX
"I'm home!" Taylor shouted out automatically, still in a daze from that mess just a couple of hours ago. When she eventually met Bradley after the talk with Sheila she wasn't even able to concentrate enough to notice his inquisitive stares directed at her. Somehow, he didn't matter all that much right now. Compared to loosing her friend, loosing him wasn't this painful. It's her words that hurt me the most. She's wrong. I thought she knew me better than that!
"Welcome home, Taylor! How was your da- " her mom spoke coming out from the direction of the kitchen, stopping mid-word immediately after noticing her daughter's facial expression.
"Taylor, what's wrong?" she asked, obviously worried for her child. Taylor wasn't the type of person to show her emotions in front of others. This means, something serious must have happened for her to drop her guard, flashing her dejected face for everyone to see.
"Huh? Nothing. Why?" Taylor said, flashing her mom with an obviously fake smile. That's all she could do right now. She wasn't willing to talk to anyone and she didn't really feel like hiding her miserable state. I just hope she'll get the picture and won't try to talk to me. I really don't need that right now….
"Well…You look as if the whole world just collapsed on your back….And that fake smile so doesn't work on me."
" …. " Sigh…she knows me all too well…Still, that doesn't mean I'll all of a sudden reform and start talking to her about my problems. I don't need anyone holding my hand, I'm not a brat!
"Talk to me Taylor. I'm your mom, you can tell me anything. You do know that, don't you?"
"Uhh… yeah mom…sorry, but I'm not really in the mood for talking right now" Or breathing, for that matter. I feel hollow inside, like something just disappeared from inside of me.
"…Okay. But promise me that you'll come to me if you have problems that seem too big for you to handle. I worry for you Taylor, never forget that."
"Fine. I promise." Taylor said sighing heavily and turning around, heading to her room. Her sanctuary.
Coming in her room, she slowly closed the door, walking over to her desk and dropping her school-bag on it. Going over to the bed, she flopped down on it, burying her face in the soft cover. She felt sobs creeping in on her, choking her throat. She tried to stifle them, but eventually gave up, letting the tears flow freely. Replaying the events of the day over and over again in her mind, she started feeling depressed, then irritated and then, angry.
What the hell was all that about? How could she just jump on me like that? Gawd! I hate it. I hate her! …I hate girls. I really do. And I hate being a girl! I hate it! I'd probably be better off if I was a guy…Then stuff like this would never happen. Ever. I just know it.
Slowly, her sobs subsided and she was only hiccupping a bit. When finally calming down completely, she turned around to lie on her back; she sighed and closed her eyes, not thinking about anything. Just breathing and listening to the sound of it filling up the quiet room. Out of the blue, a thought ran through her mind. Was she right about me? Was I really just using her? …No, no it's not true! It's not. I wasn't. I would never… Stopping that train of thought before she could find the dreaded answer, she turned to her side, sighing deeply for what seemed to be a thousandth time today.
Thank god tomorrow is Saturday. No school. And I don't have to pretend that what she said didn't hurt. And I don't have to run away from seeing him. God I love Saturdays.
XXX
The quiet Saturday morning was broken by the shrill noise of an alarm-clock, ruining the peaceful atmosphere of a lazy day. Next to the night stand was a bed large enough for two grown people. Still, it only had one person in it. A one very grumpy person shuffling under the cover. An arm came from under the cover, going straight for the clock, successfully turning it off in the first try.
Damn, I forgot to turn it off last night. What time is it anyway? The slim figure started stretching on the bed, twisting the body in a way that delightfully resembled a cat, feeling the muscles stretch and relax and loving it, if it's to be judged by the smirk on the teenager's face.
Huh? Why are my muscles so sore? I didn't do anything yesterday? …Must be from sleeping too long….
Getting up from the bed, Taylor went over to the full-body mirror, a routine engraved in her mind from the time her body started changing and scaring her. Even now she did the same thing, even though she was comfortable in her body and quite satisfied with it's shape. Looking at her reflection in the mirror, she felt something was wrong. Scratch that. Something was seriously wrong. She just couldn't quite put her finger on it…. Wait. That's it! It seems like she grew a few inches since last night. But…is that even possible? Could that be the reason why her muscles were aching all over? And her chest felt really tight, as if someone was pressing her breasts hard, almost like trying to squish 's hand came to her chest, feeling the top of her pajamas and realizing that that's all she could feel. Her pajamas. And her chest. No breasts, though. Finally waking up completely, Taylor looked at her reflection in the mirror and flinched. She took a few steps back, as if trying to run away from the mirror and what it showed her. Her breath hitched and became fast and uneven until it finally hit her.
"Aaaaaaaaaa!" she screamed, running toward her bedroom door and bursting through it out into the hallway and down the stairs to the kitchen where her mom would be.
"Moooom! MOM!" She ran into the kitchen, shouting with despair.
"Oh. Good morning Taylor. Did you have a nice rest? I hope you're feeling better…."
"WHAT? Look at me! Do you honestly think I could be feeling better?! LOOK AT ME!"
"I am looking at you, darling. And I think you look great, just as usual."
"No, NOT as usual! For starters, I am not as usual! What happened to me? Why am I like this?
"Like what, Taylor?"
"Why the fuck am I a boy?!"
A/N:That would be that,hope you liked it. And please,REVIEW!