5Hi there, my name is Melinda. I am seven. I'm wearing blue sweatpants and a white long sleeved shirt. I could tie my shoes ever since I was six. I still put my hair up in pigtails...
Today my mommy took me to a place which I have never been before. On the outside this place looked like an ugly brown building made of bricks. It looked just like every apartment building in the city. I always thought the city of Philly was ugly. There were never any bright colors. The streets, the sky, the houses and the people all seemed washed out to me. The inside of the building was completely different though. The inside of the building reminded me of a rainbow because there were all the colors of the rainbow in there. Although the place was colorful it was also dim. As mommy grabbed my hand before I could wander off, I looked up at the ceiling that seemed as high as the sky. The ceiling was painted an exact shade of sky blue. Clouds were also painted on the ceiling as well as cut out of cardboard. They hung from rusty anchors. It was like I jumped into one of my story books. Mommy never took me anywhere this pretty before but I was just so excited I didn't want to question her now.
It's been me and my mommy for as long as I can remember. I call her mommy but other people call her Charlotte. I look around and I see other kids standing next to their parents who are twice the height. There's a doughy boy, a dark girl, an albino boy, and a girl who seems extra skinny and looks kind of sick. Good thing she's here though for she can eat.
Mommy and I followed some lady who worked at the building. She wore a colorful costume and a name tag that I think said Stephanie. Stephanie led us to a square table where me and mommy would eat pizza and drink soda.
An old friend of mommy's ran into her. A man who's older than her and who has hair on the sides of his face but not in the center of his head. He's wearing a gray cotton suit which looks really snug. It makes me want to take a nap right here in the booth.
Anyways, he walks towards us or maybe just towards mommy as mommy stands up and wraps her arms around his neck. The man puts his fat hands on mommy's waist. I notice how big this mans frame is compared to my mothers. He's really creepy, basically nuzzling my mom's neck with his scratchy beard.
"Hello little one, I'm Larry, what's your name?" Larry asks me.
"Melinda," I say. My response comes out like a high quiet note from a flute.
I daringly ask: "where are your kids?" He must have some since this is a place for children.
"Oh, I've outgrew them honey," Larry replies and chuckles. Mommy giggles along at his joke. I don't get adult jokes most of the time. Did you ever notice that when grownups laugh their laughter seems forced? Well Larry's laughter seems… well, evil, like how the villains laugh in the Saturday morning cartoons I watch that are about superheroes.
He's invited to sit with us. He sits in the booth, pushed against the wall once mommy gets out to say something to me.
"Honey, why don't you go have fun with the other children?" mommy suggests.
"But I don't know any of these kids mommy," I complain, which causes Larry to look at me angrily. I was sure he wanted me to leave but mommy said that today was only for me and her.
Mommy said a lot of things, and not until after it was too late, I realized that she was a liar.
"Sweetie, I haven't seen him in so long." Mommy kneeled down so that we were at the same eye level. She always does that when she wants me to see things in her perspective. I recently learned what the word perspective means.
I nod. "Ok mommy; I'll go." I feel like crying as I say this because if one of the kids in the tubes makes fun of me because the clothes I am wearing were bought at the Salvation Army or because I can never get my pigtails divided evenly I would have no mommy to help me.
Mommy gave me my last kiss on the cheek as she sat back in the neon chair and chatted with her old friend.
Those plastic tubes hung up in the ceiling were supposed to excite kids my age. I had fun at first by myself. I slid down the red and orange slides, crawled across the yellow fence, climbed up each green shelf, played in the blue ball pit, and then there was a violet sphere hanging outside the tubes. It wasn't connected like the rest. I went inside the violet sphere when it swerved; rocking from left to right. I was afraid it would break and I would fall from the sky.
I've been here for awhile now and still the other children won't play with me. I'm lonelier than ever now. I continue to be scared but now I'm scared for different reasons. I'm not scared of the mean looking people on the streets, the noise of guns being shot off outside my window, because I'm not home to hear or see anyone or anything that I used to. And when I have a bad dream I can't just wake up in a whimper and tiptoe down the hall to see mommy asleep on the couch with her hair a mess and a bottle of this drink called vodka in her arms.
I was alive until closing time.
Then we all get terrified out of our wits. Big people or creatures crawl in the rainbow tubes below the artificial sky. I'm so scared I can't even put a full sentence together of what they look like. Doctor. White lab coat. Shiny silver objects in gloved hands. Masks. Wigs. Powered faces. Bright colors we can see as the tubes are illuminated at night. I remember seeing those children earlier today. The chubby funny looking kid, the ghostly white boy, the girl of African ancestry, and that poor extra sad girl that probably never got to taste the pizza. Maybe I'll be able to make friends with her. I'm not sure, I don't know how to make friends. I've never had a friend before.
All the things that used to make me smile now make me want to kill myself. Only I'm already dead. I just want to go somewhere else, anywhere else. I'll settle for home now. It wasn't exactly the prettiest, warmest, safest, or friendliest place ever. It was the opposite but I felt safe with mommy. Or should I say Charlotte now, since I don't think dead people can have mommy's. Can they? Do they?
Why wouldn't she help me? Doesn't she love me? I wish you could tell me.
When daylight comes along I can see people outside the thick plastic windows. I bang on the windows and kick them as hard as I could. I scream, yell, and beg for help. No one pays me any attention. I tried looking for mommy. She never came back. I hope Larry didn't hurt her. I haven't seen Larry either.
I think I'll have all the time to wonder if my mother is dead or not, if she forgot me, if she wanted to get rid of me. Maybe mommy doesn't love me. I don't ever remember her telling me that she loved me.
Are all the grownups apart of some conspiracy plotting against their children, abandoning them, punishing them, killing them, maybe trading them?
My mind doesn't feel seven years old anymore. I feel my brain enlarging and sponging up ideals and fears.
Another night in hell and I meet a nurse who's a man. Weird, right? But he's human (at least he looks human) and he's nice. He makes me feel less afraid. He makes all of the prisoners feel less afraid. He doesn't harm us. He doesn't stick needles in our skin and have them scrape against our bones. He doesn't dress in scary outfits or carry knives with him. He doesn't drag us into any bright white rooms to have our eyes burned and flesh opened up. The nurse is a good person who treats me better and respects me more than Charlotte ever did. He respects me enough not to lie.
I slide down a red slide. The nurse is waiting for me at the bottom. "I don't know how long this is going to last. I have enough hope for everyone and I've been here the longest," he says.
I have a new theory that mommy is a whore and I was a burden to her. My life must have been worth something, probably money, and without having to pay for my needs she'll have a lot of money to buy more drinks because she always seems to be thirsty. Maybe it's good that I was able to help her in some way. But why'd it have to be like this? What did I do? I was born unwanted.