Paranoia got to me

by way of feeding

my mind with fear -

The ability to think for

myself had always been

lost on me,

devoid of hope -

faded from recollection.

If I wasn't being

controlled by her,

I wasn't living the life

I was meant to.

If I was trying to

find a sense of self,

I was being a disrespectful

and ungrateful child.

If I wasn't who she wanted

me to be –

If I'm still not who she

wants me to be –

I have no purpose

in this life.

No purpose but

to turn to stone.

(c) C. Leslie. 11/17/08